Anatomy of a Photo: Lemon Leather
All I can do is quote @michael:
$27,250 for this POS. Don’t know if it’s worth an article or just a post, but for that price, I’d like my really cheap saddle set back properly.
The beautiful thing for us is that an Anatomy of a Photo piece can almost be the same as a post, which makes talking about such abominations easy. Helps put @Jeff in PetroMetro‘s $3300 Look 595 in perspective.
I occasionally wonder if it is good to always have at least a little food in your stomach. Why? Well, when an abomination such as this Cowhide Ride appears, you can actually throw up in your mouth a little, rather than just dry heaving.
Truly terrible.
Really? For that? The saddle better be made from the foreskin of a white rhino and the paint pigment from Lance’s pee tests.
Both of whom will get you trampled on/sued to eternity and beyond, if touched.
Edit: The ENTIRE BIKE better be made from many foreskins of many white rhinos. The whole water buffalo thing is a ruse. As for paint pigment, I stand by my original post.
I will now go ride my non-recyclable, carbon fiber and toxic resin rocket ship for the next 4 or 5 hours.
Fuck, for that price the leather ought to be cured with high-grade yellowcake uranium ore. The saddle setback is all wrong, the geometry is weird and for that price you’d think they could hang a prototype Campy electric gruppo on it.
Wrong. Just wrong.
At least it doesn’t have a rivet in the soft bits like this $60k custom goth leather TT bike.
@Geoffrey Grosenbach
My god. That makes the yellow leather look tasteful.
Warning to others: Cannot be unseen.
A water buffalo died for that? The bike isn’t the piece of shit, Williams is.
Oh jaysus am I getting old or has the world gone insane? And Frank why are you doing this to us?? Is it so we will appreciate all you do??? Please we do – really – really!
Can we have some nice pics of the tour, a spring classic, muddy cyclo – anything, but not this.
please. . . ungruu ahhh ggggg – pleeeeasee.
Thinking on it a bit more this may mean that the fixie skidder thing is peaking. Now that “high Art” has embraced what was a true street kid thing grown from a need – put together a cheap quick bike – and the fashionistas have sucked the soul out of any real spirit left in the art of fixed gear riding it may slowly go back to what it was. That to me was a good winter bike, a travel bike and an experience of riding in a very clean pure form. Not to mention the Track.
So good for some poncy wanker to put $400 of leather on a $800 dollar frame with $500 wheels and a $10 saddle. Yes its Art and he has to split the bucks with the gallery, and maybe sells 1. $11,000 for the year – good luck to him.
@Rob
This does make Fränk’s decal-clad ride more digestible. Actually, maybe this is Fränk’s bike pre-decals…
@Geoffrey Grosenbach
You are sick. Not like sick/good. I mean sick/bad. The ability to find this crap online is just dirty. It’s not just the makers. It’s the pushers like you. What if children see this? Huh? And how am I gonna get rid of the smell in my brain?
@Frank
Someone hacked the front page, and posted a picture of a really shitty looking bike.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that enough money for THREE really nice, fully built, pro level bikes? WTF?
For 27 grand, buy a friggin’ lobotomy dipshit.
Ugh… had to V-up so f’ing hard on todays ride and this is the shit I find waiting for me?
Point taken, Frank… but holy shit, I wasn’t expecting something like this.
Anyway, that livestrong-looking-P.O.S. needs a belt-drive…
Try riding this gem.
@razmaspaz
Raz: That post actually made me laugh. Well done!
For and extra $4k you can get this matching European Posterior Man Satchel
And you fuckers thought my AoP piece on Simoni and Cunego chillin in the hot tub was bad?
@Marko
GodDamn! What is it, a full moon or something? This thread is bringing the worst out of everyone!
+1
Also, WTF is that? I would hesitate to actually use the word “bicycle” or “bike” to describe this, as I feel it does a true injustice to the the entire sport, cyclists & anyone with an ounce of taste or style.
But then again, matching it with @Marko’s posterior man satchel pic & may be even the Yellow Princesses (no disrespect meant to the Mavic’s Marko, just thought they would match the outfit, sorry yellow piece of shit, sorry thing loosely being described as a bike) & they would look super leading Sydney’s Mardi Gras parade later this month.
@Buck Rogers
Spot on. Het Nieuwsblad can’t get here soon enough, can it?
Team kit?
Sorry, that’s disrespectful to the Mardi Gras, the Yellow Princesses & even the yellow European posterior man satchel.
In hindsight, it (i.e. the yellow POS) is pretty much disrespectful to these pages. I withdraw all further comments by myself as the more I think about it the less should be said, but seriously $27K for that….. what is the world coming to?
Well at least reading through the comments on that POS, Cervelo disown any “collaboration” with the so called designer!
Frank is laughing his ass off right now as we all should!
He’s just f*cking with our minds, can’t you see?!
I bet he has himself locked up in his Merckx shrine and lighted by scented candles ofcourse, is working on another one of his fine writings!
+1. I’m trying to imagine the guy at the counter, cards out, about to fork out 27k for that thing. And taking his money, as soon as the card clears ripping the shit out of him. Take it to Pharrell’s house and you’ll be BFFs.
That yellow thing has nothing to do with a bicycle.
That bike represents everything that is wrong with the world. Trendy greed will be the undoing of humanity. One of the first signs of the Apocalypse will be cyclocross bike from Wal Mart.
So true. That’s when I take up curling. Or javelin catching.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Of course, it’s okay to buy a Look from them…
Mind how you go: curling is sacred up here.
Sweetness. It has a flat crown fork…with miles of clearance. So tight!
And this bike + photo makes me yearn, deeply, for the Simoni & Cunego tub pic. Bring it back!! I want it.
@Ron
No.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
That one looks like a true representation of a ‘marriage bike’…
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Thank you!
That’s my western seal of approvation
It is Rule #40 compliant, in a lemony-fresh sort of way.
the front wheel’s in backwards
I believe that this is the kind of guy who would the buy the Lemon Special
@Pedale.Forchetta
Prego!
@Marcus
I don’t get it. Isn’t that how everyone rides indoors?
@packfiller
Push me, pull you?
Here are some sweet Yellow Princesses to wear with this ride:
Between the Pharmy piss, the satchel, and the team kit, you assholes are seriously twisted.
@frank
Ronald McDonald’s yellow princesses? Actually, just picturing him on that yellow POS & it all makes sense now
@Marcus
That needs to be in it’s own Anatomy of a Video post.
He’d be wearing a matching Livestrong wristband, too…
I’m in Prague at the moment and a clothing store has a front window display featuring a “fixie.” I’ll try and get a photo of it. All white, white rims, white grips. Not like its a new trend, but still odd that junky fixies aren’t just a plague in the U.S. but all over.
@Ron
I went to the mall (ugh x100) last week to pay a visit to the Church of St. Jobs (Apple Store), and I walked past a new store that is sort of like a Hot Topic and Spenser’s Gifts combined. They had “Messenger Bikes” hanging in the windows, which were for sale inside the store for $399, and came with color-matched “deep” wheels and chains. I’m glad urban street cred is just a mall purchase away.
On the other hand, I saw a guy riding a classic-looking blue Bianchi yesterday, which was miraculously not converted into a fixie. It had all the gears in place, and the rider may as well have been a reader of this site, because he was obviously following The Rules. It made me happy inside to see that.
@mcsqueak He sounds like a fellow traveler – Anyone on a classic Bianchi is +1 in my book.
Why is it that we do not get that “happy inside” feeling as much as “I just threw up in my mouth” taste when viewing the passing throngs on bikes? As a transgressor as well as a strict follower of the Rules I make sure to keep a 3 to 1 ratio of Rules compliant to my one fixie folder Rule breaker. That means on the road, track and second road bike I am in V. kit and the bikes are not lumbered with saddle bags. On the commuter I am incognito in street clothes. I imagine that this relationship to bikes is similar in Europe where I have seen so many more kitted out riders. In their non road bike rides to the cafe, i.e. around the corner on the city bike, they go under the radar in street wear but they still manage to look good.
It raises the question of what do you wear on your $27,fricking000 piss yellow bike – but I guess this post has answered that!
Can someone with photo shop skills combine the jester, shoes and bike above? Oh and don’t forget the bag… Thanks.
@Rob
Yes, it was refreshing to see one that wasn’t bastardized to hell as a fixie, like 3/4 of them are in this city. On one hand, I’d rather see cyclists than cars, so the more the merrier, even if they are ignorant of The Rules. On the other hand, have some respect for vintage steel, and what in the name of Merckx is so bad about having some gosh darn gears, anyhow?
This guy would have made Frank proud too, he was very tall, and had plenty of seat post showing, with his bars slammed way down. He was even rocking a cycling cap in a non-ironic way, since he was also wearing proper kit.