Guest Article: Jeff in PetroMetro’s Look 595

Jeff in PetroMetro's Look 595

Not only do most of us have a tale of our Cycling Sensei, but we also generally have a story for how we came into our current Bike Number 1. Those of us who were online last week probably noticed Jeff’s manic posts regarding a Look that he spotted at a big-box retailer, for a price that should have him constantly looking over his shoulder for fear of either the authorities or other Velominati who are plotting to steal it.

Look holds a special place in cycling history. Hinault, Lemond, Jalabert, and Hushovd have all won upon these machines while Look was experimenting with building bicycles out of composites. Looking over the frame Jeff now owns, it is a great pleasure to see that, while it obviously showcases the state of modern bicycle technology, it’s roots are still on plain view. With lugs so sexy they should be called luggs, this machine represents the fusion of cycling technology with cycling tradition. Beautiful.

Jeff’s article detailing his experience is so long I considered splitting it into several articles, but I figured everyone could use a good excuse to have a leisurely drink and a long read. So, grab a beer, and settle in.

Yours in cycling,

Frank

Many Velominati know some of the details regarding my very recent acquisition of a Look 595. I’ve shared a bit of the intrigue at “Frank vs. The Volcano”.

Before I go on, I must thank all of you for your kind words of encouragement. Velominati, you are my true Brothers of The Cog. I appreciate all of you and hope to meet you guys someday soon.

Steampunk, you have my condolences for purchasing non-refundable round-trip airfare to Houston. I’m sorry, but the well is dry. I got the last one. However, you’re still welcome here in the PetroMetro. As for me, I want a one-way ticket out.

Marcus, how fucking cool are we? Congrats. Is the 595 the new Velominati team issue? Maybe?

Our Excelsis Velominatus (Frank) wanted more than just a post from me. And not just a picture of Julian Dean’s resplendent 595, either. Did I mention I’m a full-on fanboy of Julian Dean now? Two straight years of layin’ down the V on all the other Kiwis. I liked his kit. Way better kit than the standard-issue argyle. Sorry, JV. That shit was ugly.

And yes, Nate, I need the Credit Agricole DECALS, not stickers–forgive me in all my excitement.

No, I’m not wearing a CA kit””ever. I wear black shorts. Colored panels on the outside only. Rule #14 supersedes Rule #17 because, well, Rule #14 comes before Rule #17. And that works for me.

Here are the sordid details. The emotional highs, the crushing lows, a pic, and the ride review. So, pour yourself a glass or four of Chianti Superiore 2007 from Castello di Monastero, break out the Chimay red label, or make an espresso. I give you my humble prose.

Chapter 1: A Chance Encounter

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

Right. Too cliché.

My eight-year-old daughter and I went to Memorial City Mall to see “Yogi Bear in 3D”. After the movie, we walked downstairs to a restaurant for dinner. Since both her birthday and our semi-annual camping trip were coming up, I suggested we take a quick detour into Sun & Ski Sports to look at a 24-inch mountain bike for her. (We take our bikes to camp, but she’s outgrown her current ride.) She picked out the one she wanted. Like any good father, I told her she wouldn’t get it anytime soon and I’d sell her into indentured servitude if she uttered one more word about it.

I went back the next day and bought it. Hee hee. By the way, my wife and I will surprise our daughter with her new bike in two weeks.

While at the store to make the purchase, I looked around the bike section with a little more leisure. There were lots of mid-range road and mountain bikes. Nothing awesome. And nothing marked down too much. Meh.

And then””I found a lonely stand with three very top-end steeds: a white 2007 Look 595; a carbon grey 2008 Look 585 Ultra; and some opulent time trial machine to which I paid little attention because I’m not a tri-wanker (Rule 42) and I’m not riding the State Time Trial Championships any time soon.

The 595 was originally priced at $7400″”about right for full Dura Ace back in ’07. Its price was cut to $3200. Excellent, but still too much for this Velominatus Budgetatus. The 585 Ultra, also dressed in full Dura Ace, was originally $6900, reduced to $2500.

I soiled myself.

I went to the restroom, cleaned up, returned to the sales floor, and quietly inquired about the Looks. The young salesman who sold me my daughter’s bike said, “Yeah, they’ve been here for two or three years. I’m pretty sure I can knock 10% off the sale price of the cheaper one. Want me to take it down?”

Perceptive. And persuasive. He’ll go far.

I am nothing if not casually deliberate. Sometimes I’m deliberately casual. Regardless, I calmly said, “Sure.”

He handed me the 585 Ultra. I touched it. I caressed the 585’s carbon top tube. I ogled the Dura Ace everywhere on the frame (and I’m a Campagnolo guy). I picked it up. It made my Cervelo Soloist aluminum feel like a refrigerator. The 585 was electrifying. I had wicked carbone.

I think I said something about starting a new business and having a very tight budget and ooh this is amazing and how can you sell this for $2250 and I’m not worthy and my Mastercard…

…and then the room spun ’round and ’round.

When I came to, I told the salesman that I had to go, but that I would be back in a day or two.

“No rush. I’m sure it’ll still be here.”

Chapter 2: The Punishing Cost of Indecision

I spent the next two days reminding myself that I’d left behind my career in financial services, that I was committed to writing for a living which meant near-term poverty, and that I would have to rule my budget with iron-like discipline.

Then I ran the numbers. I could put it on my Mastercard at 9.9% APR and pay it off in two years at $111.55 per month. That included $100 for pedals and sales tax at 8.25%. I could sell everything I owned that I didn’t use. I could do without utilities and groceries and reasonable shelter. I could write enough to pay bills. And taxes. Oh, and still put aside savings. (I was a financial planner after all.)

I called at 9:58am on Monday. The store opened at 10am. A salesman named Trey answered.

“Hey, Trey. My name is Jeff. I saw the Look 585 Ultra a couple of days ago and wanted to make sure it was still there. I’ll be at the store in about 30 minutes to buy it. I’m really excited…”

“Sir, I don’t think we have it anymore. I think it sold.”

“Wha? Really. Wow. Okay. Hmmm.” I went numb. If I’d eaten breakfast, I’d have thrown it up. I reached for my blankie.

“Do you want me to call around and see if there is another one in another store?”

“YES, PLEASE, DAMMIT!!!!!! I mean yes, please.”

We hung up. Through my salty tears I asked, “Merckx, what am I gonna do?”

Trey called me back very quickly. “Nope. They’re all gone. But, you know, there’s the 595 here.”

“Yeah. But it’s out of my budget. I can’t do it.”

“Maybe my manager can discount the bike some more. I could give him a call. He’s not in today, but he’s good about calling us back.”

“Okay. Thanks. Bye.” I didn’t even wait for Trey to respond.

I’d blown it.

Then, I thought, “No, Jeff. Not this time. You are such a ‘Ready, Ready, Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim, Fire’ fucktard. Rule #5. HTFU. Grow a pair. Call Trey back. Ask for the biggest discount you can get and be ready to say YES.

You wanna climb Wannahockalugie next year? Wanna be a true Velominatus? Wanna shoot for a sub-4? Or are you gonna lie in bed and cry? My Merckx.”

Trey called back, much sooner than I expected. “My manager will sell the 595 for $3000.”

I uncurled from my fetal position, but hung on to my blankie.

I started to hedge. “Yeah. Ok. That’s really nice of him. That’s just super-duper. Yep. Ok. Well, can I call you back after I think about it?”

Chapter 3: Merckx, Have Mercy on My Soul

Suddenly startled, I dropped my blankie. There was Merckx, right in front of me, wearing a classic Molteni wool warm-up jacket with rainbow stripes on his cuffs and his collar. (Damn, I want a jacket like that, but without the rainbow stripes ’cause I’ve never won a world championship””Rule 16.) He looked at me. He squinted. He smirked. He looked disappointed, even a little disgusted. I couldn’t let him down, even if he was a figment of my overly developed imagination.

I blurted into the phone, “No. Wait. I’m not calling you back. And I’m not thinking about it. I’m saying yes. YES. YES!!! I want the 595! Today! I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”

“Sure. Ok. See you then.”

What the fuck did I do? Oh shit.

Merckx grinned at me. He nodded, almost imperceptibly. It was life affirming. I did the right thing. And then he vanished. I was hoping he’d leave that wool Molteni warm-up behind as a talisman, a gift from, well, Merckx. No such luck. I couldn’t wear it anyway””the rainbow stripes. But he gave me something better. He gave me strength””The V. I seized this chance. Thanks, Eddy. You really are the greatest.

Before I could stop myself again, I pulled my riding gear together, stuffed it in a race bag, and walked out the door. The credit cards were burning. (It was gonna take two cards now.)

Chapter 4: It’s Mine

To make a long-ass story merely long, the Wrench didn’t get in for about an hour after I paid for the bike. The Wrench’s name was Chris. He did the cutting.

I knew I’d spend quite a bit of time on the trainer in the store getting the fit right. That’s why I brought all my riding stuff. I even brought the cold weather gear so I could head outside for a few laps and then come back for some more tweaking.

The guys were great. It was a very laid back atmosphere. They were happy to have a customer that knew what to do. I was happy I could work with guys who weren’t condescending bittermen. It was a very good experience. And the price still floors me.

So. As for the ride quality–I’ve only been out for a 1.5 hour shakedown cruise. The seatpost is not your dad’s Campy Record 27.2. I had Chris cut the integrated seatpost just a little lower than perfect so I had some wiggle room. Look designed the seatpost so you can use spacers for up to a 40 millimeter adjustment. I will add about 5 mils of spacer for my ride tomorrow. Today it felt a little low.

I’ve used every hair of the 1.5 cm setback. As I go up, I will bring the saddle forward a bit.

I have the stem slammed. I left the steerer tube tall enough for two 0.5 cm spacers, just in case I want to raise the stem later. To be Rule #45 compliant, I’d have to move one spacer down, but I’d rather leave the stem slammed. (Can I get a ruling? I’m comfy with it right now.)

By the way, the carbon fiber spacers are so cool. Each says LOOK. I could make pretty awesome key fobs out of the ones I didn’t leave on the bike.

I’d like to say I have barbone, but I’m not there yet. These bars scream 2007. They’re carbon, they’re ergo, they’re narrower than I’m used to, and they have that flat oval top. I rotated them down just a smidge, and now the flat part isn’t “aero”. If I rotate them back up, the levers look out of compliance (Rule 46). It’s a manufactured non-compliance problem.

I’ve never ridden a bike this light. I took it to a crit course that’s close to where I live. I rode at an easy to moderate pace, making sure all was tight. I did one hot lap””well it was half of a hot lap. (I’ve got a lot of speed work ahead of me.) The acceleration is other worldly.

I entered a left-hander hot enough not to pedal through it. I had visions of sticking a pedal on Day One and breaking something carbon. The bike is lightning quick. Twitchy in a very good way. I could have pedaled through the corner as I didn’t have to lay it over as much as I thought I would. The rest of the corners were just like buttah.

I have a little bit of toe overlap. I’ll be mindful when I trackstand at a light.

I feel amazingly lucky. Broke but lucky.

Total damage: $3355.75. At 10% over two years, that’s $147.22 per month, or $3533.31 when all is said and done.

A-Merckx.

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146 Replies to “Guest Article: Jeff in PetroMetro’s Look 595”

  1. @Jeff. Awesome write up. Killer deal. Enjoy the hell out of it and the money issue will seem trivial after time.

    In 2006 I bought a new Ibis SIlk Carbon, $3500 or so, and being family guy – had a bit of hard time justifying it – especially since I have a garage full of older bikes. Wife said go for it, via phone call, while I was standing there sweating at the shop, after test ride number two.

    That was cool and all – but what really pushed me to say screw it and go for it – was the death of my dentist a few weeks earlier. He used to ride as well and we’d talk bikes during my visits. Then he was hit with ALS. Within a year or so, no more being a dentist, then he passed away. Bit of a wake up call. Need to do all this stuff while you can.

    If used often and with a smile on your face – the $3355.75 you just spent – is worth every cent in adventure, being fit, and having fun. Don’t fret over it – just ride and enjoy.

  2. Great and entertaining write up. Keep writing and you will go far. You will have the Look paid off before you know it.

    Congrats on a once in a generation purchase of a handsome steed (Hey Shrek…she called me a handsome steed….)

  3. Nice story. As it happens, the whole $600 ticket was a smokescreen written on my return from the Houston area. Will post shortly my story about acquiring a Look 585 while on a one-day “business trip” to Texas. In Canadian dollars, the bike only came to $1800 (I haggled a bit with the manager). More to come.

  4. @Jeff

    very cool write up. Well worth the financial emptiness left on the card.

    I just went through a similar experience myself. I had an ’06 De Rosa Merak that had serviced me well for these past (almost) 5yrs. Had a bad experience with the carbon rear derailleur (Campy Centaur) snapping off into the rear drive side spokes & then having to walk home over 5k’s, as I had just started out for the morning’s ride.
    Without going into the gloriously minute detail that you have done in your piece, let’s jump to the chase & next thing I’m doing some serious research into a new steed. Finished up with a ’09 BMC Racemaster SLX01 running Ultegra. Exactly what the Velominatus Budgetatus would allow (that & the VMH holding the $$ limit) Reduced due to it being NOS. Price paid – $2800AU (which is about the same as US $ nowadays isn’t it wink, wink?) Very happy me, very happy VMH (stayed within budget) slightly sadder bank account. In Love with the bike BTW.

    So, I can fully relate to the feelings you are experiencing at this moment & hope they contiue for a long, long time (or until the next upgrade anyway!!)

  5. Brilliant!

    There is no better way to budget your monthly expenses, and force you to get out and ride, than a new steed. I myself finally went carbon this past season after holding on to the ‘steel is real’ mantra and riding custom beatuies from small builders who still gave a crap about fillet brazing and smooth lines. I’ll admit, I went cheap in terms of carbon, but traded a boat in for the upgrade. Best excuse to get rid of a boat. Ever.

  6. Awesome story Jeff. Great writing, and it makes getting the bike *that* much more exciting.

    You now also have a pretty good carrot hanging in front of you to make sure your new career path works out!

    Also, I took the liberty of creating an artists rendition of Chapter 3. I believe it to be fairly accurate of your vision:

  7. Awesome, Jeff. Congrats!

    My bike story is similar in that I, too, got a steal of a deal. Last summer, I picked up a lightly used, six month old Cervelo S1 with a beautiful build kit. SRAM Force throughout, SRAM Red ceramic BB, 3T Ergonova Carbon Team handlebar. Oh, and Fulcrum Racing Zero Two-Way wheels. All in for $2,000. I was ecstatic.

    I really didn’t know how much I’d like the wheels. At that point, I’d only ridden tubeless on my mountain bike and really didn’t know how it would translate to the road. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face on that first ride. I love this bike!

    Someday, I’ll upgrade to something a little bit lighter and a lot more expensive. This bike will become my cherished go-to for all weather conditions not perfect and sunny.

  8. Bel mezzo Jeff!
    And great story, I’m sure the pain of the cost
    will be always ovetook by the joy in riding your Look!

  9. Congratulations on your purchase, that bike completely nails it for me.

    I should introduce myself, I’ve been lurking and sniping from the corners, making comments that aren’t worth the interweb space they occupy: Bretto put me onto the Velominatus, and is responsible for my moniker. I worked with him (if that’s what you call it) at the Welly bike shop, and also with Josh whose taping jobs I can attest to. I’m also a longtime fan of Oli, local genius and bike flavoured mechanic whose wisdom I chose to defer to over almost all others, given the consistent quality of his opinions and accuracy of his knowledge. I have, since finding the site, immersed myself in the rules and my appreciation of the velominti is growing, and hope my meagre contributions won’t be looked upon too severely by my (elders and) betters.
    PS I ride one Avanti Quantum road bike, one beat up Avanti dunger Aluminium bike with geometry so right it’s wrong, and a ridley track bike. Photos to follow after compliance check.

    Jacky Bobby FTW!

  10. Great story Jeff, and a tres belle machine.

    I guarantee you’ll never regret riding the best bike you can afford. Life is short, a fact I keep finding myself reminded of all too frequently. And your daughter can brag about what a cool dad she has (at least for a few more years, when she’ll suddenly find you completely lame for a few years). Don’t worry, that too shall pass.

    Thanks for a great read, now you need to go find some hills (good luck with that!).

  11. @mcsqueak
    Outstanding work.

    @Jeff
    Your Merckx-vision totally conjured for me the scenes of a thoughtful and introspective Eddy from La Course en Tete.

    And, having just last year stretched the budget to buy more bike than I initially thought prudent I agree with others, (1) life is short, you love riding, and you might as well ride the best you can even if it’s a bit more than you think you can afford and (2) having put yourself in debt to afford un beau velo, you will find an enhanced dedication to the craft of the Velominati, and access to V-reserves you didn’t know were there. Chapeau et bonne route.

  12. @Jamin are you talking about mightyninja’s article or @jeff’s bike……:O

  13. First, hello to all. I’ve been reading what goes on around here, this article finally pushed me to comment.

    @Jeff

    Great read. My feet were going all tingly and my legs getting heavy as I felt your stress in the “I want it – but I don’t want to be broke” battle. And you certainly have finished up with a great ride.

    @mightyninja

    I too recently went through this very same ordeal, and ended up with a SLX01 Racemaster (2009 frame, in black and white). I stressed, I fretted, I waited and “thought about it” – in fact I dreamt about it. I went back to the shop, on a tram, suffering from a cold with a mild fever. Merckx looked down on me, as about 30 seconds after I arrived, a partner in the shop arrived back from a 4-hour training ride, on a – you guessed it – 2009 SLX01 Racemaster – of my frame size. “Sure, take it for a spin” he says. Within about 3 seconds of engaging the 53 I was sold, all doubts due to budget went out the window.

    I still stress about what I spent on it – until I’m on it! Best waste of money ever. A-Merckx.

  14. One of the best looking carbon bikes around… it’s all about the straight(ish), (relatively) thin tubes and lugs… oh, the lugs. You’re a lucky man, Jeff.

  15. @mcsqueak
    Brilliant!

    @Jeff
    Great rendition of the story – fills in the holes of the process in the Volcano thread beautifully…

    @minion
    Welcome and :blush: thanks for the kind words.

    @Bretto
    Concur entirely!

  16. Great piece, well written mate.

    My best mate upgraded from his 595 as above to a Roubaix S Works SL3 with Di2, leaving the Look down at the beachhouse thinking he could ride anywhere anytime (and preventing driving under the carport with the bike on the roof). The difference in fit gave him an immediate bad back after one ride on the Look.

    I was envious as he’ll when he first bought the Look and as we did thousands of k’s together I got a good look at it. I’ve since bought a Wilier and the only real bike-lust I’ve had is to upgrade to a Wilier Cento 1 Superleggera.

    Your piece makes me look at that Look again in a whole different light.

  17. I have enjoyed reading the big box saga, Merckx looking beautific (thanks Mcsqueak) blessing the whole affair, just perfect.

    Minion – Great moniker especially if you are minioning to Brett! Welcome.

  18. fantastic article jeff, enjoy riding riding it as much as you enjoy looking at it

  19. Bel Mezzo for sure. That truly is a gorgeous bike and I hope it brings you years of god riding and unlocks your inner V. As a lugg man myself, I really appreciate that look.

  20. @ Jeff
    Nice!

    I have to admit my triathlete roots. I know, I know. But I subscribe(d) to the old adage that if you can’t be great at one thing, be mediocre at three things.

    I was lucky enough to get a custom built Cyclops in the mid 90’s. Mike Mulholand built mostly track bikes, steel, lugged or fillet. I was young, impressionable, and ignorant, so I got him to defile the beauty with a Softride beam. Biggest mistake of my life, or it would still be my #1 bike. Did I mention I was a triathlete? Not the smartest wheel on the road.

    I did get pretty good as triathletes go, and got a shop sponsorship with Softride a few years later. Ohhhh, Aluminum. Remember, triathlete. Well, then the rules of triathlon changed, and Softride was relegated to the A/G ranks. I wanted to be PRO. I know, Triathlete and PRO… oxymoron. But it gave me a second chance.

    Not with Cyclops, unfortunately. Mike’s retired, deservedly, and the ‘and sons’ side of the business seems to have dried up. If anyone knows different, let me know. I don’t expect my VMH to approve, but you never know…

    Anyways, the next best option was still local, and usually mountain. But Chris DeKerf occasionally makes a road frame (Prodigy). In steel (my budget) and recently in Ti (Tibone?) Trad geometry, beautiful ‘pierced monostay’ seat stays. A little old, now, the paint a little worse for wear, but still my #1 ride.

    Did I mention I’ve retired from triathlon? I still ride, I still swim, but I also subscribe to Rule #42. After all, what is the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. I hear you all shout ‘the V!’ But no, the answer

    is 42.

  21. Velominati: Thanks for all the kind words. Regarding the 595, that dog’ll hunt. (Thanks, Nate, for using a little Texas slang. I’m 5th generation, so it comes natural.)

    Steampunk: It WAS you. You took five years off my life. You owe me at least a breakfast at your favorite coffee house and a 100k ride–when the weather gets better. Or mini-pumps at dawn.

    Mcsqueak: That’s now my wallpaper on my laptop. That is truly AWESOME.

    I’ve been out a couple more hours on the 595. I raised the saddle another 5mm, and it feels great. I laid down the V on this last ride. I’m getting used to the quick handling. My cornering is better–feels less like a bunch of little squares, much more round. It’s been 1C to 3C for weather. Does that count for Rule #9?

  22. beauty of a gem man! Life altering.

    Q&A: how do you compare the integrated post as compared to the old traditionals? Interested in your experience on it

  23. @Brett

    I agree, I like the smaller round tubes and the lugs are sweet. So many carbon bike designers have gone crazy with the oblong “fat” tubes, I’m kind of tired of it.

    Truly a beautiful bike. I wish I had the stones to go into debt for my dream bike, but I just couldn’t do it… (though when I was looking last year, my “dream bike” never presented itself).

    I hate debt, so I kept myself to a limit of $1,500 for my last bike, paid in cash. HOWEVER, I will say most Americans put themselves into more debt, with more interest, for cars. So I think you made a good move, Jeff.

    Glad you like the photoshop! It was a good exercise at the end of a slow work day, and this site can never have enough Star Wars references, IMO.

  24. @Souleur
    I was intimidated by it at first, but we measured 47 times and cut twice.

    I’ll bet it’s hell on resale value. It’s not as harsh as I expected. The way Look designed it, the seatpost expands out with rubber “spacers”, so you can’t crush the carbon fiber. I guess you can overtighten and break it from the inside, but I doubt it. It looks really cool. I’m very happy with it. I’ve added height by adding the spacers Look provides. It’s very easy to do.

  25. @mcsqueak
    I hate debt. All the debt right now consists of the mortgage and the Look. The real problem for me is the cash flow. I have none. But I’ve got a contract coming up to do some content writing for an energy firm. And I’m not afraid to ask for business. Fear is a great motivator. Need a tech writer?

    I might go ask the big box where I bought the bike for a part-time job in their bike section, just to make ends meet for a while. It’s pretty flexible. I definitely won’t take the job home at night!

  26. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Yeah I hear ya there. It’s not exactly like you had time to think about the purchase, save up, yadda yadda. If you didn’t plonk down the money THAT DAY, it would have been gone, and you’d regret it. You’ll make it work, $3k in the big picture is nothing.

    Just curious, what are your rates if you don’t mind me asking? I have to do a lot of writing at my job, but that’s simply because I’m a one-man marketing team, so it has to be done by SOMEONE, and I’m it. I dream of the day I can justify out-sourcing content creation to a contract writer.

  27. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Coffee’s the least I can do if ever you should make it up this way. At said aforementioned coffee shop: on the floor””about to be mounted on the wall””this morning is a framed and signed rainbow Cervelo jersey from 2010.

    Great story and congratulations on the upgrade!

  28. Brett:
    One of the best looking carbon bikes around… it’s all about the straight(ish), (relatively) thin tubes and lugs… oh, the lugs. You’re a lucky man, Jeff.

    Couldn’t agree more, aesthetically the stars just aligned on this bike, and the best part is, it looks hot and it looks fast
    To justify my purchases, I keep track of money laid out and use a formula from bikesnob, (he was using it to take the michael I’m sure) of dollars per kilometer per year. If you ride a $3,500 bike 7,000 km per year (and lets face it who doesn’t) it cost you 50 cents per kilometer. The more you ride the cheaper it gets, and then after a year you get to reset the meter.
    Off to order a new bar and stem. After all, I think December 21 was my current bike’s anniversary. Here’s to another good 12 months with your new ride!

  29. @mcsqueak
    I don’t mind. I’m between $20/hr and $30/hr depending on the task. If I went straight technical writing for oil/gas/energy, and I went in-house, those folks make $45,000-$70,000 per year translating engineer-speak into English. And they get benefits. If I could translate schematics into prose, I’d jump on it.

    I’m a wordsmith. I come with no design or graphics skills. But I work well with art directors who do. I watched enough Batman as a kid to know where the POW!! BLAM!! and ZOING!! go on a print layout. I’m comfortable writing incomplete sentences. I can dangle dangling modifiers. I can torture adverbs, and I’m world-class at forgetting things like, you know, verbs.

    And I’m a roadie.

  30. @Steampunk
    Yeah. I remember your stories about THAT coffee shop. That’s why we’re going there.

    I didn’t really want to duel with mini-pumps anyway. Too bloody.

  31. @Jamin
    No pet names yet. I’m toying with “Atme,” pronounced “at me.” Look Atme. Maybe too vain.

  32. Jeff in PetroMetro:
    @Steampunk
    Yeah. I remember your stories about THAT coffee shop. That’s why we’re going there.
    I didn’t really want to duel with mini-pumps anyway. Too bloody.

    That. And you’d lose.

  33. @mcsqueak
    Wow, that is incredibly well done. Like, really good. It’s Cyclopsian in nature, but with Star Wars. Which is my favorite ever. EVER. Except bikes and anything bike related.

    @Timiji
    Great story. Nothing against triathletes; it’s just that a triathalons are not bike races; they are triathalons. But, yeah, what you say about being moderate at three things instead of good (or bad) at one is exactly why we add the little implicit, “*huh*” and quick nod.

  34. Just got back from the first ride on MY new 595. 190ks (yes a little excited). Verdict – super fast and super cool. It goes like stink!

  35. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    One, your bike is like white buttah…daddy want badly. White bike nice.
    Two, keep writing, you have the gift.
    Three, eventually lose the Look pedals, go Speedplay, Merckx would approve.
    Four, great story, you have told a tale we have all experienced in some variation, almost always ending with huge smile during first ride. Very well played.
    Five, Bel Mezzo

  36. Jeff in PetroMetro:
    Steampunk: It WAS you. You took five years off my life. You owe me at least a breakfast at your favorite coffee house and a 100k ride-when the weather gets better. Or Mini-pumps at Dawn.

    I’ve only just picked up on this: WTF? How can you then try to cite Rule #9? It’s -15c here with snowbanks everywhere, but the roads are clear. Let’s ride!

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