Velominati Cogal: Welli-Roubaix 2011

Artwork: Richard 'Rigid' Ainsworth.

It’s a call to arms.  No, it’s a call to legs, hearts and minds.

Just as the Illuminati would stage their fabled, and somewhat feared Cabals, we the Velominati will this year stage our own modern-day versions, the Cogals.  A meeting of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Sound like a formula you could enjoy?  Then Welli-Roubaix is just the ticket.

Assembling at Hataitai Velodrome, Wellington on Sunday April 10, the date of the Queen of the Classics, we will share a cocktail of gravel and tarmac (in the place of real cobbles). It’s a ride, not a race, but attacking on the gravé is encouraged, as is banter in between bouts of the V.  Sprinting on the banked concrete at the conclusion of the ride is mandatory, but no ‘winner’ will be crowned, no trophy awarded except that of cold brews and a set of commemorative  V-Cards.

The next morning (Monday), lashings of Chimay, Duvel, mussels and frites en mayo will accompany the live viewing of the the main event at downtown Belgian bar Leuven. We implore the Welliminati to gather en masse, and encourage our Aussieminati to make the jump across the ditch and join in a weekend of V-based activities on and off 700 x 25s.

*In the light of the terrible events in Christchurch, we will dedicate the ride to those unfortunately affected by the earthquake, and donate V dollars (or more) each to a reputable appeal.

Good times, good people, good cause.

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173 Replies to “Velominati Cogal: Welli-Roubaix 2011”

  1. Have a great ride – I will raise a beer to you all as I stand at the side of the pave in Northern France on what I’m hoping will be a very wet Sunday…

    And my heart goes out to all of those affected on the South Island. My thoughts are with you.

  2. Yeah, great idea Brett and well done for organizing the poster. It’s awesome. As you know, we are booked for a family trip to Kapiti Island that day. As my family do not know, I am hoping the weather is shitty so the trip is called off and I can say ‘Oh, damn, I am so annoyed at missing the trip I think I’ll go ride my bike on some grave’.

  3. Super Idea! We should set these up wherever there are Velominati. Anyone living in the Clarksville, TN area and want to get together for a ride?!?!?!

  4. Here in Wisconsin a few of us do our own L-B-L ride in the early spring. While we have no Liege or Bastogn,e we do a route that starts in the town of Luxembourg, goes to the town of Brussels before returning to Luxembourg. This part of our great state was founded by Walloonish immigrants. Last years ride featured temps of around 40, high winds and rain. The year before were recieved an inch of snow driven by high winds. There’s also a few sections of gravel.

    We adhere to the V, the V adheres to us.

  5. @Rusty Tool Shed
    Very cool! My parents bought some farmland out in Durand WI for the simple reason that it is exactly like the Ardennes in Belgium. We can get 4000m vertical on a 200-250km ride no problem, on short cote-like climbs. Brutal. I’m not familiar with Luxemburg or Brussels, WI but if it’s anything like that, I bet those rides are fantastic. Well done!

  6. @G’phant

    ‘Oh, damn, I am so annoyed at missing the trip I think I’ll go ride my bike on some grave’.

    You guys know a “grave” is something you get buried in, not a road surface, right? The road surface is called “gravel”.

  7. I haven’t plotted the route yet, but we’ll be doing a Pre-Flanders ride in Seattle, with a post-ride hammerfest at Brouwer’s, for whomever is interested. We’ll be focusing on the steepest, cobbled bergs around town, mostly on Queen Anne, but I’m starting an official search for the best pave in town, so if you know of a good patch, let me know.

    @Buck Rogers
    Definitely, we encourage all Velominati around the world to organize a similar honorary ride – do it!

  8. frank:
    @Buck Rogers
    Definitely, we encourage all Velominati around the world to organize a similar honorary ride – do it!

    When: August 7, 2011
    What: Tour of Denmark V Cogal
    Where: Solvang, CA (Hey, it’s the closest thing to Denmark we’ve got!)

    Hosted by yours truly, details to follow.

  9. @frank
    ‘Grave’ is pronounced ‘grah-vay’, to rhyme with ‘pave’. We have no cobbles, but we have metal (I.e. gravel) roads, hence ‘grave’. That said, I expect all participating will bury themselves.

  10. frank:
    @G’phant

    ‘Oh, damn, I am so annoyed at missing the trip I think I’ll go ride my bike on some grave’.

    You guys know a “grave” is something you get buried in, not a road surface, right? The road surface is called “gravel”.

    G’phant may well get buried, along with the rest of us!

    ‘Grave’ needs an inflection over the ‘e’, but I don’t have a Belgian keyboard or any technical skills I’m afraid. So say ‘grah-vay‘.

    Great stuff from all to organise local Cogals this year, hopefully culminating in a real Flanders/Roubaix Cogal in 2012…

  11. Wow, I would love to attend anything in NZ, especially if it involved bicycles. Sounds awesome. Hope I can find some sort of ride in my parts on April 10. I’ll be in awful shape – returning to the U.S. on April 1 after eight weeks off travel and without a bike. I’ll be eager to get back on form as soon as possible.

    Can’t believe what is going on in New Zealand. Not good news at all.

  12. @sgt

    I’ll also hosting a Worlds Cogal in Solvang Sept. 25 if anyone’s interested. (just remembered the Worlds are in Copenhagen this year).) The Santa Ynez Valley looks a lot more like Andalusia than Denmark, btw, and has some of the best riding roads anywhere.

  13. Cyclops – they are both awesome! I know we have Aussies and Kiwis on here, so I can’t say as much…but I spent a semester of college in Queensland, Aus. and then lived in Titirangi, NZ after I graduated. Some of the best times of my life. And I wasn’t even into cycling back then! Both countries are beautiful and I never met a Kiwi or Aussie I didn’t like. Know joke. I consider them the Canadians of the Southern Hemisphere, since I like all the Canadians I know.

  14. That poster artwork is fantastic. And Welliminati!?! Should be added to the lexi. These are the types of events that color me green with envy (and not in a points jersey shade of green). Living in a vacuum of cycling culture where I do the opportunities just don’t exist. Have fun. I’ve got a 40 of Red Label Chimay I’m saving for that weekend. I’ll toast you peeps when I open it.

  15. Would love to get there Brett but have a Little pre-Flanders ride the weekend before (527kms across Victoria in 24 hrs – report will be provided).
    My domestic D-S keeps me on a minimal classics schedule which prevents full participation in Flanders Week.

  16. Ron:
    I never met a Kiwi or Aussie I didn’t like. Know joke. I consider them the Canadians of the Southern Hemisphere…

    FTW!

  17. Ron :
    I consider them the Canadians of the Southern Hemisphere, since I like all the Canadians I know.

    Let me introduce to an Australian who now doesn’t like you!

  18. @Ron
    Canadians are… nice. Thanks for painting us with a broad, single brush. How many Canadians do you know (no, I don’t know Alice from Winnipeg, but I’m sure she’s very nice, too)? And never, ever compare Canadians to Australians. That’s an island of convicts. We are a nation of well-to-do British ex-pats (and Scotch-Irish refugees). How’s that for stereotyping?

  19. @Steampunk
    I prefer the term “chill-billies” for Canadians. “Convicts” for Aussies sounds about right tho. These are the only Kiwis I know:

    Good on ya, Ron! Now this thread can really start rockin!

  20. @Steampunk
    Not bad Steamy – but really, the last people to be really interested in Canada were US draft dodgers during the Vietnam War. Other than that, you are just really another state of the States who suck during the Commonwealth Games, and put on mediocre Olympic Games. But your mooses are cool.

    Australians on the other hand, have an interesting past, currently turn out great cyclists and put on great Olympic Games.

    And our kangaroos crap on your mooses (or is that meese?).

  21. Steampunk :
    @RonCanadians are… nice. Thanks for painting us with a broad, single brush. How many Canadians do you know (no, I don’t know Alice from Winnipeg, but I’m sure she’s very nice, too)? And never, ever compare Canadians to Australians. That’s an island of convicts. We are a nation of well-to-do British ex-pats (and Scotch-Irish refugees). How’s that for stereotyping?

    From where I sit you’re all a pack of whiteys who made the mistake of selling guns to the Maori (indigenous people of New Zealand) BEFORE you tried to annex the country in the name of the Queen. Good luck with that.

    FWIW no racial insult intended, I’m half English half Maori so can’t win (or lose…?!?) no matter what side of the fence I sit on.

    Agree with Steampunk though, Australian = convict. Can’t help think that every time I see one of their politicians on TV

  22. @frank
    I’m in for a Seattle trip, especially since our dollar is worth more. Just saying.

    @Steampunk
    Steamy, you know we are great. How Canadian of you to say right off, “Thanks,” so as to maintain stereotypes of our politeness. Always the peace keepers.

  23. @All

    If you’d like to make a donation to the earthquake appeal, the best way would be through the Red Cross… DONATE HERE

    Interestingly, the minimum amount is $5.

  24. @nvvelominati
    Careful how you go: the last time I informed Americans that that sound they heard was the Canadian loon about to devour the once-proud American eagle, it was suggested to me that I could now afford to buy the drinks. Of course, when Cascadia finally secedes from North America, I’ll be back in a heartbeat.

    @Marcus
    Dude: they’re the 11th province. Nuff said. We’re also much better than Australians at ice hockey.

    minion:Agree with Steampunk though, Australian = convict. Can’t help think that every time I see one of their politicians on TV

    Fair point, but I think that might be a universal trait…

  25. Marcus :
    @Steampunk Not bad Steamy – but really, the last people to be really interested in Canada were US draft dodgers during the Vietnam War. Other than that, you are just really another state of the States who suck during the Commonwealth Games, and put on mediocre Olympic Games. But your mooses are cool.
    Australians on the other hand, have an interesting past, currently turn out great cyclists and put on great Olympic Games.
    And our kangaroos crap on your mooses (or is that meese?).

    But it’s the disarming modesty and compulsive self-deprecation of Australians which truly endears you to the rest of the world.

  26. @Steampunk

    We are a nation of well-to-do British ex-pats (and Scotch-Irish refugees).

    I think there may be a Quebecois at your door.
    Worse, it may be Celine Dion.

  27. Apologies for all the silliness. And in it all, I’ve managed to bury this good bit of information.

    Brett:
    @All
    If you’d like to make a donation to the earthquake appeal, the best way would be through the Red Cross… DONATE HERE
    Interestingly, the minimum amount is $5.

  28. EDIT: Agree with Steampunk though, Australian = convict. Can’t help think that every time I see Brett.

  29. @minion
    that’s cool to use this fool as a very good example of what’s wrong with Australian politics. I’m an Aussie & even this bloke embarreses me. Ashamed to admit that he held the balance of power for a very short time at the last elections.

    @Brett

    cool poster & wish I could attend but as we’re going to the South Island in October, I don’t think the family budget will stretch to another visit in April. Even my good looks & charm won’t be able to persuade the wife on this one.

    We have already donated to our cousins across the way & wish all those affected our condolences for those lost.

  30. Oh yeah, if any fellow Velominati are thinking of anything in Sydney, follow Frank Sinatra’s advice……and

    “start spreading the news”

    happy to contribute if we can get our shit together

  31. G’phant :

    But it’s the disarming modesty and compulsive self-deprecation of Australians which truly endears you to the rest of the world.

    +1

    Touche

  32. @il ciclista medio
    I could as easily have said “But it’s the insinctive self-belief and endless reserves of self-confidence which really makes us jealous.” But then I’d have been deported.

  33. @il ciclista medio
    I have to admit a grudging respect for the guy, despite the fact he’s batshit insane (who’s to say I’m not and just don’t know it?) he sticks to his guns and talks in a straight line.

  34. bear in mind that’s an arms length observation. If I lived in FNQ I’d hate him with my eye teeth

  35. G’phant:
    @il ciclista medio
    I could as easily have said “But it’s the insinctive self-belief and endless reserves of self-confidence which really makes us jealous.” But then I’d have been deported.

    With those thoughts I’d have a room for you at our house.

    Though a lot of that self confident bullshit is hiding a hell of a lot of insecurities from “the arsehole of the world” (thank you former PM Paul Keating)

  36. @minion
    Point taken – begrudgingly. He is totally black and white but still living and voicing the same beliefs that were being tossed around 40yrs ago.
    e.g. he stated that (paraphrased by moi) “there aren’t any homosexuals in his constituent” sorry where are you living, the moon?

    @Brett
    just re-reading your blog and being whimsical, I could almost have read the word “grave” and pronounced it “gravy”!? Then I had a vision of the bunch attacking on the gravy, may be with added frites literally riding in the brown stuff. Pathetic I know, but I can have a sorry sense of humour. At least I keep myself amused.

  37. Ron: I consider them the Canadians of the Southern Hemisphere, since I like all the Canadians I know.

    Here I thought all this time that Canada was the Mexico of the North. What would that make Australia and New Zealand then? Now I’m just confused.

  38. Steampunk:
    Of course, when Cascadia finally secedes from North America, I’ll be back in a heartbeat.

    One of my favorite local breweries put out a dark ale they called “Cascadia”, with a map of Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia on the bottle. Sounds good to me!

  39. mcsqueak:

    Steampunk:
    Of course, when Cascadia finally secedes from North America, I’ll be back in a heartbeat.

    One of my favorite local breweries put out a dark ale they called “Cascadia”, with a map of Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia on the bottle. Sounds good to me!

    That’s the one. I’ll live there.

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