Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

by / / 211 posts

Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”

You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.

I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.

Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.

Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.

// Accessories and Gear // Etiquette // The Rules

  1. Yes, white is classy Pro and I am converting over. But perhaps it can be seasonal? Winter woolies, like late winter afternoons, tend to be dark.

  2. Seeing how you asked, I believe white socks did indeed used to be compulsory.

  3. I applaud this. Not because I obey Gianni’s edict – quite the reverse – but because it is important to have standards, and someone reminding us of those standards, in order to keep us more aesthetically anchored than otherwise we would be. Every time I don my blue Icebreaker socks, I do so knowing it is inconsistent with tradition, feeling bad about it, but also knowing that that guilt is what keeps me from wearing the grey ones. So chapeau to Gianni for being prepared to stand up (in his perfect-length crisp white socks) and be counted as the ultra-Orthodox fundamentalist traditionalist dedicated to ranting and railing against the corruption of the modern world. When the Cycling Rapture comes, Gianni, you’ll be the first to the top of Mt Velomis.

  4. @G’phant
    Thank you and bless you. When the Cycling Rapture comes I’m hoping to be left behind so I can scarf up Frank’s bikes. Frank’s ass is so getting raptured.

    @Oli
    I suspected so. It was Cipo who really started to mess with the standard black shorts edict, a man who understood the tradition and railed against it. I don’t believe Lance ever revered European cycling tradition, so his anti-establishment statement of black socks seems less impressive.

  5. Socks should start white and end up black. After all, that’s the only way to prove you have been riding through the mud.

  6. @Bintang
    Welcome and exactly so.

  7. Things get a little tricky though when a rider wears dark kit and light coloured shoes. Here we have three guys with three different answers:

    Obviously they should be sporting dark shoes but personal sponsorship deals cannot be ignored. Modern life can be so complicated can’t it…

  8. I’m gonna throw this one out there: White shoes, white socks. Black shoes, black socks.

    I have no observable reason for this statement and it doesn’t even represent my opinion on the matter, but it sounds good.

  9. I’ll have to vote for black wool in the cold/wet though. Sorry to dissent on this one, but I’m ruining enough stuff when I ride in the rain, no reason to ruin socks too.

  10. Stick to your drunken guns, @Gianni! This is brilliant stuff. Spot fucking on.

    @xyxax

    Yes, white is classy Pro and I am converting over. But perhaps it can be seasonal? Winter woolies, like late winter afternoons, tend to be dark.

    Absosmurfly, though one might add the rider that the darker socks should only be worn with tights””ie. no skin between tops of black socks and bottoms of leg warmer/tights. Knee warmers or shorts must be accompanied by white socks.

    @michael
    Don’t get me started on this. At the risk of alienating a goodly portion of the community here, if you’re wearing anything other than black shoes, you’re trying too hard. The Greats wore black shoes and white socks. It’s simple and elegant. You’ll be the laughing stock of any high society function if your white socks are spotted under your tux, but on a bike it is sheer class.

  11. @Routier

    Things get a little tricky though when a rider wears dark kit and light coloured shoes. Here we have three guys with three different answers:

    Obviously they should be sporting dark shoes but personal sponsorship deals cannot be ignored. Modern life can be so complicated can’t it…

    Is that Michael Barry up front? He looks a little sheepish about that sock choice.

    @michael

    I’ll have to vote for black wool in the cold/wet though. Sorry to dissent on this one, but I’m ruining enough stuff when I ride in the rain, no reason to ruin socks too.

    It might be better to Hincapie it up and go with booties to protect the white socks underneath.

    White shoes, white socks. Black shoes, black sock

    Oh it may sound good but it won’t look good.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

/js/magnific-popup/jquery.magnific-popup.js">
Skip to toolbar