Beer, Frites and Mayonnaise

photo: Sherry Ott

Riding the stones of Paris-Roubaix, in the Spring, in crap weather (it’s possible) and finishing the ride in the velodrome in Roubaix* should be enough enticement for any right thinking cyclists to jump on to this event. It gets better, watching the race in a scrum of drunken-loud-mad-fans, everyone covered in a sheen of beer, frites and mayonnaise. It’s an experience of a lifetime. Do you still need more? Perhaps riding the last fourteen bergs of the Ronde van Vlaanderen, being your very own Boss of the Bosberg and then spectating this race, again the loud-drunk-fans, the sheen, the madness. Fabian Cancellara shall pass by so close he may wink at you as he drops the hammer on Boonen, again. How about a personal ride with the Lion of Flanders, Johan Museeuw? It does not get better than this, I’m sorry but it can’t.

It can’t yet it does, a tour of the Merckx bike factory and the Ronde van Vlaanderen Museum at Oudenarde. That is correct, we are going to museums, all right, a museum and it’s a museum about bike racing. There is much more fun crammed into this nine day holiday than should be allowed, please regard the original post for all the information.

This is the fantasy camp of a lifetime for cyclists. If not for yourself, dear reader, then bestow the holiday gift to end all gifts on your mate. The Velominati are united in a love and appreciation of cycling and the Spring Classics are a distillation of all things Hardman and beautiful.

Not to belabor the awesome factor, here are just a few more items:

  • Our guides, Pave Cycling Classics, are partnered up with a brewery.
  • We may not be invited back.
  • If you are ever going to break your clavicle crashing on your bike, breaking it on the stones of Paris-Roubaix would get you bragging rights for a lifetime.
  • There is the potential for shaking the hands Johan Museeuw, Eddy Merckx and Freddy Maertens on this trip.
  • Possibly the only chance to meet Frank and Brett at the same time, over Belgian beer, to argue the finer points of all things Velominati. Worlds are colliding and there are still open slots for this Tour. Spread the word to your fanatic friends.

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*disclaimer from our legal department: unconfirmed but in the works.

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102 Replies to “Beer, Frites and Mayonnaise”

  1. Why do visions of my suffocating my wife with a pillow and collecting insurance money always dance through my head when I read about this event?

  2. So very tempting…both the Pave Classic & those fries & beer! I haven’t had lunch yet. Thanks, Gianni…

  3. Mmm frites! There is something about continental frites that hasn’t been matched by any other potato frying peoples of the world.

    I think that in the new year, I shall renounce alcohol and cut the calorie intake to an absolute minimum to make sure that I make it up the bergs and over the pavé in the spring.

  4. @Chris

    …I shall renounce alcohol…

    Obviously, specific, targeted training to ensure that I don’t keel over at the merest whiff of ale post ride will be acceptable.

  5. I’m already drinking more wine, since the legs aren’t wanting to come back after a forced 8 month hiatus. But I’ll keep working on them.

    In the meantime, I may just need to make a quick road trip up to Belgium this weekend to build up my Leffe tolerance.

    Either that or put a few more hours in the saddle.

    Choices, choices…

  6. So cool, wish I wasn’t a poor college kid. I’m jelly.

    Not to be a pedant, but it is Freddy Maertens. I’m sure you know that and it was only a typo.

  7. You’re F@#k’in KILLING me here! Ahhhhh, not listening, not listening, not listening any more!!!

  8. i’m with buck on this, this kills

    bla bla bla bla…can’t hear you

    yada yada yada

    yes dearie

    souleur simply needs more time to rack up brownie points, and stash cash in my matress

  9. @Cyclops

    Why do visions of my suffocating my wife with a pillow and collecting insurance money always dance through my head when I read about this event?

    Because you’ve spent too much time by yourself riding a bike in the middle of winter? My understanding is most women would do that to you over a pair of shoes, so it could be preemptive selection at work.

    BTW is this going to be a semi annual/recurring event? I may need to get married and insured a few times between now and the next one.

  10. @minion

    @Cyclops

    Why do visions of my suffocating my wife with a pillow and collecting insurance money always dance through my head when I read about this event?

    Because you’ve spent too much time by yourself riding a bike in the middle of winter? My understanding is most women would do that to you over a pair of shoes, so it could be preemptive selection at work.
    BTW is this going to be a semi annual/recurring event? I may need to get married and insured a few times between now and the next one.

    Yeah, I mean, someone should have told me about this event 16 years ago so I could have written a pre-nuptial agreement into my wedding contract where I would be allowed to go to this event in the spring of 2012!

    On a side note, I never got used to the mayo with frites thing. Mayo still makes me sick in pretty much any form, but esp on frites.

    But, in all fairness, I only lived in France for one month and Germany for 7 months so I guess I am not much of a Continental.

  11. @DerHoggz
    Thanks, these Belgian name spellings are very foreign to my feeble brain.

    @Cyclops
    too obvious, don’t you have another car to park in an good place for it to get rammed? Maybe pull a Vieno, sell your State Championship Road jersey to the 2nd place guy for a few thousand euros.

  12. @j.king
    My LORD! Can you imagine what the gift shop must be like?!?!?!?

    I cannot control myself in a normal museum gift shop, say nothing about the Profit’s giftshop itself!

  13. Purely coincidence, but this article has reminded that I’m meeting a mate for lunch here tomorrow. Frites and something trappist, I think, but not too much or it might make the rollers tricky tomorrow night.

  14. Oh yes! I’m even more excited as I bought my air tickets yesterday… this is going to be the best time.

    Rule #11 for the pussies. Haven’t you heard of credit cards? If I can make the commitment to increase my limit and max that sucker out, you can too. FFS.

    Rule #5 for those cutting back on beer. I’ve actually increased my intake to prepare for this trip. Get stronger for the bergs, get stronger for the bars.

  15. @brett

    Seasonal alcohol and the current bad weather are playing havoc with my dodgy knee. If I don’t give it a break then training will grind to a halt.

    This re-ignited love affair with cycling leaves me feeling less concerned about what others might say about my beer handling skills/capacity than I am about my ability to keep up on the bike. These are uncharted waters for me.

  16. @j.king



    You mean the museum where you see things like this?

    Sheeeit, I’m already having trouble sleeping at night. If a museum is this stimulating I just might keel over being near the start of P-R.

  17. Signed up last night. So excited!

    I was worried about possibly breaking my out-of-production carbon frame over the cobbles when I realized what a story that would be! “I snapped my frame in half at 299km while riding Paris-Roubaix.” Or “I pulled a Hincapie and dove into a ditch, still clipped in.”

    What other Keepers will be there? Marko? Gianni (I assume since he’s writing this post). Jim? Joshua?

  18. Come on guys, have a bit of heart and stop selling it so well. It’s simply the most glorious cycling trip I’ve ever read of already. The cobbles, bikes, the Mercks, the beer and fries and mayo. I’m drooling over my keyboard here and contemplating selling my photo equipment or kidney to get there and get a chance to break the clavicles on those stones.

  19. @Gabriel

    Come on guys, have a bit of heart and stop selling it so well. It’s simply the most glorious cycling trip I’ve ever read of already. The cobbles, bikes, the Mercks, the beer and fries and mayo. I’m drooling over my keyboard here and contemplating selling my photo equipment or kidney to get there and get a chance to break the clavicles on those stones.

    Ahhh, great thought, I can sell a kidney. Hell, I’ve got two of those last time I checked!

    Let me just talk to the transplant doc down the hall and see how much I can get.

  20. @G’rilla
    It looks to be Frank, Brett and myself. Jim and Marko have actual lives and careers that need attending. Josh, who is Josh? No word from him since the sheep were moved into the lower pastures in Montana.

    @Gabriel
    Brett said it best. “Rule #11 for the pussies. Haven’t you heard of credit cards? If I can make the commitment to increase my limit and max that sucker out, you can too. FFS”

  21. Damn, that looks good. Betcha those frites are crispy on the outside and piping hot on the inside. I can see the steam rising from them right now.

    Yum.

  22. I think G’rilla said it best (roughly):

    “There are times to check all the bank accounts and make calculations. And there are times for action. When its a cycling trip to Belgium, it’s the latter.”

    For all you geniuses saying to yourselves, “I’ll catch it next time”, a word of caution: There is no guarantee the stars will align like this next time. Museeuw? Both Cobbled Classics? Three Keepers? Good luck getting that all to fall into place again.

  23. If in Western NY, hammering out the V in the winter/early spring, stop here:
    Blue Monk
    for a tripel karmeliet and a plate of duck fat fries

  24. @Chris
    Not headed to the Classic Cogal, as the Ontario Cogal is all I can muster. I am, like you, headed to a Belgian bar tomorrow. Specifically, the Emporium location. 1/2 off Belgian drafts during happy hr. yummmmm. Then the pain cave the next morn….

  25. @frank

    And, my favorite cycling YouTube clip probably ever.

    Yeah, that’s just fuckin Ace!
    I hold the visualisation of this video in my head when I’m hammering up sharp rollers (hills). I’m sure its good for at least another 10 watts or so (if it were that I paid attention to that sort of thing).

  26. @Chris
    I knew you were a Londoner. there’s another den of inequity called the Rake in Boro’ market, run by the same outfit who own Uto beer. stay away from the Rochesfort, it’s fiendishly moreish

  27. @j.king
    As much as I love my current museum, no, I don’t work in one like that. Frankly, that would lead to a bit too much over stimulation going there every day. I mean, having carbone at work every day is not a good thing . . .

  28. @zalamanda

    Burp. Just make from lunch. You’re spot on when you say the Rochefort is rather moreish. I only had two but I can feel a slight expansion of the senses already. That was only the 8, God knows what the 10 is like!

    I only work in London, I live out in the flatlands of Cambridgeshire, on the edge of the Fens. Not a bad place to get used to Flandrian conditions (although you’ve got to look a bit harder for the ups.) Where abouts are you based?

  29. The picture says everything……..until you have been there…you can’t even imagine the feeling!

  30. @sgt

    @Gianni
    @frank
    It’s not the money, dammit! It’s not even the VMH… it’s the bloody TIME… I’ve got no TIME…. (insert primal scream here)

    Actually, I’m with you. It really is not the money, it is the time (and the small fact that I’ll be in Honduras on official Army business overlapping the Keeper”’sss’s’s Tour.

  31. @Mark1
    Welcome, somewhere, a long time ago, this fine bit of video did show up here but it always is worth a repeat viewing.

    @frank
    That Museeuw video is a beautiful thing. If Marko buys that Colnago Master he can get his Johan on. You are going to storm up that bitch like a madman. That hill never stops.

  32. @sgt
    Excellent. But there should be a wee blob to the left of Wiggins’ haircut that says Kellyland

  33. @wiscot
    The idea that Kellyland should be to the LEFT of Wiggins is pure heresy! My word man, give your head a shake!

  34. @Mikel Pearce
    That’s the left as I’m looking at it! Being from sunny Scotland I know Kellyland is off the west (right) coast. Also, Kelly was no fan of Margaret Thatcher so I’m assuming his politics were left of center – or at least left of far right.

  35. @j.king



    You mean the museum where you see things like this?

    If I was curator of this museum I’d sure as hell make sure the bars were in compliance. Also, I wouldn’t use a mannequin whose fingers were missing on both hands – poor form indeed.

  36. OK, so I’m nervous about posting these pictures, as it makes me look a little bit like an online stalker of Frank… but in my defence, he and I have been in email contact about these very things, and whether it is ‘normal’ or not for two men, who met over the internet, and who are going to spend a week living together in a cottage with other men in Belgium wearing tight-fitting lycra clothing, to have the same wheels.

    I’m a youngling on the Velominati journey, so I didn’t build my own wheels (particularly, since Derek at wheelsmith.co.uk did such a fantastic job, and has done ever since he refused to build me a low spoke-count pair of wheels to climb Ventoux in 2009 because, in his words, “you are a fat bastard, and you’d buckle them on the descent and have to cadge a lift out”)…. These arrived today, which are what I’ll be doing the cobbles on in April. Ambrosio Nemesis rims; Royce Hubs; old-school spoking; Challenge P-R tubs. So excited, I think I may have had a ‘moment’… but, errrr, what happens if I get a puncture? anyone?

    [album: http://filemanager.dutchmonkey.com/photoalbums.php?currdir=velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/roadslave/2011.12.20.21.14.58/|width=595|height=512]

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