La Bicyclette

I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

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182 Replies to “La Bicyclette”

  1. “Dearest, note how these two are alike:
    This harpsichord pavane by Purcell
    And the racer’s twelve-speed bike.”

    Michael Donaghy

  2. Some stills from our shootings Paris-Roubaix Espoirs, yesterday.
    We were there to film Ignazio Moser’s race. Unfortunately Ignazio was not able to repeat his father’s victories (only for the moment, we hope!) but we passed a hot, dusty and great day on the cobbles!
    Paolo form Italy

    (I hope the photo gallery works, it’s my 1st post here)

    [dmalbum: path=”/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/thelastkilometer/2012.05.28.20.59.30/”/]

  3. Very nice, Frank! That emotional tie to the bicycle is what really defines our passion, I believe.

  4. Frank you have taken anthropomorphism to a new level. Well done – but more than a little weird.

    I’m not sure whether you have reached this point yet, but if your bike ever starts talking back to you, then it could be time for an intervention.

  5. Perfect timing. As you were posting this, I was deep in the mist of the plak-tow: the blood fever. With hands greasy from disassembling my speedplays to prepare for their bearing overhaul, I tackled the long awaited conversion of bike #2 to 10 speed. Having collected the needed parts, I just need to throw myself at it.

    And MerckxDammit – it works. From 8 speed to 10 speed. All by my little self. The Keepers have shown me the Path. How good it is to walk each cobble. VLVV.

  6. “I love the… aroma of it.”

    Bent over the bike last night hooking the track pump to the front valve, I caught a whiff of my bar tape. I cannot say I love the aroma of it. Changing it this afternoon.

  7. It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should be a stronger man.

    Having experienced the bold section of the first sentence 7 weeks ago, it took all of 10 seconds after getting to the end of the driveway on this morning’s return to get to the second part of the sentence.

    2 minutes later as the cold air absolutely seared my airways from the back of my throat to the lowest depths of my lungs, I knew all about the second sentence again.

  8. @Marcus

    Frank you have taken anthropomorphism to a new level. Well done – but more than a little weird.

    I’m not sure whether you have reached this point yet, but if your bike ever starts talking back to you, then it could be time for an intervention.

    Anthropomorphism and ten feet of seatpost? What are you trying to say?

  9. Deep. Not Miles Davis deep – Ahmad Jamal kind of deep. A Love Supreme deep. Sun Ra type deepness. Sitting at a cafe post 40km ride in the rain on your own and a good double shot machiatto with sun peeking through illuminating the steaming curves of my titanium princess – style deep.

    Top post Frank. I get it. Not weird. Much.

  10. Meh, this is one area where I’m with COTHO. I see the beauty of them as design, I appreciate the functionality and of course I love riding but I don’t feel that much for the bike, other than as a tool.

    Probably more than Oscar felt for women though…

  11. @Smithers
    You speak my language! I would contend few have gone as deep as Trane. I don’t think Miles did. Trane was playing in some state of pained exaltation. Albert Ayler perhaps. Some of Kalaparusha’s early work. I’ll stop digressing though.

  12. @RedRanger
    Jeee-eeesus.
    And I got a lashing from Frank for posting a picture of my parents.
    I’ve seen things in that video that I can’t un-see. Two questions;
    1. WTF goes through people’s minds to allow themselves to be filmed doing such things?
    2. Didja just have that video – you know – on your computer somewhere?

  13. For me, I believe it is less the bike itself and the symbiosis of mind and body. The bike is the means through which you achieve it. The longing gaze at the bike in the corner isn’t so much for the machine itself, as for the sensation and motion.

    When you have a rough day of work, you turn to the bike to settle your mind. When your girl/boyfriend breaks up with you, you turn to the bike. When you’re angry, you put in your PR on your favorite route. When you’re lonely, you cure it with the solitude and freedom of a ride.

    The bike offers solace and discovery. When my mind is in a knot, I find the longer I ride, the less I think, and the faster I feel right. Little is more glorious than getting off the bike after 4 or 5 or more hours and not being able to remember a single thought that was drifting through your mind.

  14. @mouse
    Good Merckx no! I had the miss fortune of having a friend send me the link to the entire episode a while back. I swear on bike #1 that I have never watched or plan on watching another episode.

  15. @RedRanger
    That guy is F U C K I N G C R A Z Y.

    Why do these wackos always have, ‘ahem’ a “certain” American accent? Does crazy town actually exist somewhere in the states?

  16. @minion

    @RedRanger
    That guy is F U C K I N G C R A Z Y.

    Why do these wackos always have, ‘ahem’ a “certain” American accent? Does crazy town actually exist somewhere in the states?

    Each of the 50 states has one.

  17. @Nate

    @minion

    @RedRanger
    That guy is F U C K I N G C R A Z Y.

    Why do these wackos always have, ‘ahem’ a “certain” American accent? Does crazy town actually exist somewhere in the states?

    Each of the 50 states has one.

    Agreed. But I do think (and I’ll catch all kinds of hell for this from the one guy from there that doesn’t watch NASCAR) there’s a higher concentration of them in the south. Kentucky in particular.

    Oh, and top post Frank. If I catch you in your shop nekkid while I’m up there in a couple weeks, I’m flying Marcus out for an intervention.

  18. @frank

    A sweet declaration of love but for completeness and honesty, I think you should add

    But despite all of this I will never be able to truly commit to it for there will always be other that catch my eye.

    I’m off the garage…

  19. @brett

    @ChrisO
    I think you need a different bike then. I could sit and stare at my bike for hours.

    Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

  20. Well done! I’ve only found/joined this community recently. But I’m glad I did for moments like these posts. It helps me feel less insane as I realize there are others out there who have crazy love affairs with their bikes. What a cool place this is!

  21. @graham d.m.

    Well done! I’ve only found/joined this community recently. But I’m glad I did for moments like these posts. It helps me feel less insane as I realize there are others out there who have crazy love affairs with their bikes. What a cool place this is!

    Welcome to the fold…

  22. @brett

    I don’t think it would make a difference TBH – as I said, I appreciate the beauty of certain design. My Ridley is a beautiful fast thing, my Colnago Master is a beautiful classic thing and my Roberts is a beautiful handmade thing. I sometimes look at other bikes and think how beautiful they are.

    But do I love it/them ? I love what it allows me to do and I love some of the experiences I have on it. But the experiences are mine and I have them on it, not with it, and I could probably have them with another ‘it’.

    I love cycling, not bikes.

  23. This year has been a test of my love of the bike. Instead of riding in the Master’s class like a fat old cow should I have been getting my ass handed to me by the Cat 4’s. Three weekends in a row of being cast down in “off the back” shame had me feeling rather indifferent toward la bicyclette.

    After taking almost two weeks off the bike I spent the weekend getting rained and hailed on whilst slogging up 14% grades and watching my buddy’s wheel disappear in the mist. But I had a big smile on my face that not even a crotchety, rain-soaked drive train could remove. The muscles are sore from thousands of meters of climbing but the mind is refreshed. I can’t wait for the next race.

  24. @RedRanger
    Dude. Needs. An. Intervention. (and a woman (or man))

    @thelastkilometer
    Great photos!

    @scaler911

    Each of the 50 states has one.

    Agreed. But I do think (and I’ll catch all kinds of hell for this from the one guy from there that doesn’t watch NASCAR) there’s a higher concentration of them in the south. Kentucky in particular.

    Obviously, you’ve never been to Berkeley, CA. Lots of wackos in that town. (@Nate excluded!) But if you want wacky rednecks, go just about anywhere in the central valley – the farming towns out there are full of ’em. (I should know – I had the misfortune of growing up in Modesto!)

  25. @Cyclops

    This year has been a test of my love of the bike. Instead of riding in the Master’s class like a fat old cow should I have been getting my ass handed to me by the Cat 4″²s. Three weekends in a row of being cast down in “off the back” shame had me feeling rather indifferent toward la bicyclette.

    After taking almost two weeks off the bike I spent the weekend getting rained and hailed on whilst slogging up 14% grades and watching my buddy’s wheel disappear in the mist. But I had a big smile on my face that not even a crotchety, rain-soaked drive train could remove. The muscles are sore from thousands of meters of climbing but the mind is refreshed. I can’t wait for the next race.

    Good! Yes! Always remember that chasing off the back is always strong, sanctioned training to go off the front. Your time will come (as you already know this to be true) with patience. Already loving your story Cyclops and hearing about this phase of your racing years. I’m a 44 year old Cat 4 that likes the heat of just being part of a race. Would love to sit in with you — and attack!

  26. @ChrisO

    @brett

    I don’t think it would make a difference TBH – as I said, I appreciate the beauty of certain design. My Ridley is a beautiful fast thing, my Colnago Master is a beautiful classic thing and my Roberts is a beautiful handmade thing. I sometimes look at other bikes and think how beautiful they are.

    But do I love it/them ? I love what it allows me to do and I love some of the experiences I have on it. But the experiences are mine and I have them on it, not with it, and I could probably have them with another ‘it’.

    I love cycling, not bikes.

    Love surfing, but not the surf board. Love skate boarding, but not the skate board. Love cycling, but not the beautifully fast and handmade bike.

  27. I love my bikes, without reservation. I personify them and whisper sweet nothings to them, and when it is very quiet in the house, they whisper back. I bring them upstairs for photo sessions by the fire. Sometimes, I’ll go down to the basement freezer to get something, and I’ll catch myself lingering to gaze at my freshly cleaned and oiled machines for minutes on end.

    I don’t love all bikes I have ever owned, but I do love my current road machine and my current CX rig. They are more than just machines to me.

  28. @Xyverz

    @RedRanger
    Dude. Needs. An. Intervention. (and a woman (or man))

    @thelastkilometer
    Great photos!

    @scaler911

    Each of the 50 states has one.

    Agreed. But I do think (and I’ll catch all kinds of hell for this from the one guy from there that doesn’t watch NASCAR) there’s a higher concentration of them in the south. Kentucky in particular.

    Obviously, you’ve never been to Berkeley, CA. Lots of wackos in that town. (@Nate excluded!) But if you want wacky rednecks, go just about anywhere in the central valley – the farming towns out there are full of ’em. (I should know – I had the misfortune of growing up in Modesto!)

    I grew up in Yreka CA. ‘Nuff said.

  29. Woah, Frank! That was a nice one. Well done.

    I was just thinking about la bicyclette(s) that I have crammed into my small place. Lots of family coming to town in a few weeks & I got to thinking how I’d explain the bikes, why I have so many, and why I love to ride.

    This provides an excellent array of ponderings on why the bicycle is so awesome, and so much more than just a bike…thanks!

  30. Bikes are awesome, I’m with Frank on the smells, and I’m with Oracle on the love, some bikes, you just can’t stop staring at. Unlovable bikes have good things about them too.

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