La Vie Velominatus: Clean Bike Day
It seemed so easy, when I was young, to decide who to love and who to hate. These days, life is a complicated web of heroic deeds and dark shadows. As we get older, it appears our heroes and villains get mixed up.
Fortunately for us, Cycling is about much more than bike racing. It is about loving the machine, submitting ourselves to the cathedral of our environment, about wrapping ourselves in the sensations of the ride. For us, it is about La Vie Velominatus, none of which has anything to do with what the Pros are up to when the lights are turned away. La Vie Velominatus is about the love of life as one of Cycling’s dedicated disciples.
Tyler Hamilton spoke of riding clean as riding paniagua – on bread and water. When a Velominatus speaks of riding clean, we speak of riding on a freshly cleaned bicycle – one of the greatest pleasures to be found.
The process starts with the careful removing of the wheels, then cleaning of the frame, the brakes, the fork, the stem, saddle, and seat pin with soapy water. The wheels are cleaned by scrubbing the rims with a broad brush, and the hubs with a cone brush. The soap has to be frothy enough, it has to stand on its own, like when a cartoon character takes a bath. The foam has to fall off in big clumps and threaten to float away in the breeze.
Finally, the drive train gets its turn. To hold the chain in place, I use a special skewer with a cog that was given to me by @roadslave in a drunken fit of brotherly drive-train-cleaning love at Keepers Tour 2012. I fit the chain on its cog and affix the Park Cyclone which looks distressingly like an abstract representation of Gonzo’s head. Apparently, I’m a big enough man not to be bothered by holding a tool by a Muppets schwantz-like nose, provided it does a good job cleaning my chain. The teeth on the chainrings are cleaned with stiff-bristled brush using the residual solvent left over from cleaning the chain, as are the pulleys in the derailleur.
As a final order of business, the handlebars are scrubbed of any residual dirt and the machine is set aside to dry and await its next ride.
The bike can be cleaned in the workshop or in the driveway, or in the back yard on a sunny day. If the bike is cleaned indoors, it is necessary to play a cycling video in the background. Maybe Stars and Water Carriers, the The Road to Roubaix, or A Sunday in Hell. When cleaning outdoors, it is good to be accompanied by a loyal mut. Whether indoors or out, however, it should always be done with both ample time and a pint at hand. This is a ritual which may not be rushed.
The first ride on a freshly cleaned machine is possibly my favorite. It is much better than the first ride on a new bike, as a new bike is yet unfamiliar beneath you. The freshly cleaned steed, on the other hand, runs flawlessly and we respond to each other like the familiar old friends that we are.
There is no day to ride quite like Clean Bike Day. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
A newly clean bike and freshly shaved legs. Bliss.
@eightzero
YOU WITH THE PRESSURE WASHER WHO PAYS FOR THEIR STUFF. STEP AWAY FROM THE BICYCLE.
Brushes, sponges, rags. All good for bikes. Hoses, pressure washers, etc, not so much.
The joy of a clean bike!
I use the mist setting on the garden hose, dish soap, and warm water. To get into hte ugly stuff, I will use rubbin’ alcohol. Cheap and it evapourates quickly. When I charge for a tune-up and the bike need cleaning, it is a great way to check everything for the client, and people love a clean bike.
@Deakus Awesome, awesome doggs. They’ve got your back for sure.
@Mclennan
GOLD! Boy, that shot makes me happy.
@Ali McKee
You clean your drivetrain with a puffin? You say its effective? I’d be much too tempted to cuddle rather than get round to cleaning things.
@IcemanYVR
Ok, yeah. Senseing your son trumps chillin’ with your dog. We get it.
@Mclennan Great shot. I love the drome. May not be hep with the cleaning, but the boxer know the right way around.
My cat puts up with me.
@Marcus
Training is key. And get her a little bed to chill in.
And if she bites the frame itself, “Marcus, SMASH.”
@strathlubnaig
And therein lies the beauty of the Rain Bike. You can ease off the throttle a hair and keep the real OCD for Bike #1.
I sympathize, though, as Fall has just hit Seattle in earnest. 80 days without significant rain (maybe a record) and we made up for it in about 25 minutes today.
@brett
Ah, its OK. I see I slipped up anyway, and photographed the bike in the big dog anyway. Accidents do happen, even to people as awesome as we are.
@Beers
Oh me oh my. I had no clue. Dawn has just been demoted back to the lowly task of cleaning the crap I eat off, not the holiness I ride on. Thanks for that.
@Beers
The brush with the right size bristles will do this effectively, but its no where near as satisfying. The best is taking it off and cleaning each cog individually, along with the spacers (Campa riders, only, I’m afraid.) Most satisfying to know things are *that* clean.
@Ken Ho
On the contrary, I would say life is too short to spend it riding a dirty chain. Paradoxically, riding a clean chain is only a luxury when you first ride a dirty chain.
Keep it clean, mate.
Took my bike to the LBS tonight to rectify some front shifting issues I’ve been having. I had not cleaned my Roubaix after 230Kms of riding this weekend, and I told the mech I was a little embarrassed as to my bike’s condition. He said, “Dude, your ride only needs to be polished up compared to some of the shit we see around here. Oh, but your white bar tape looks like ass.”
Retaping tonight.
@frank
@frank
Oh contraire, Fronk me old cock. My beloved steed is Rule #65 compliant. Whilst I would have your granny turning in her grave over mirrors and man-gina bags, The Principle of Silence is beyond question. No noise but teh soothing hum of tyres on asphalt and teh occasional click of perfectly tuned Record.
I just don’t find that things get dirty enough often enough for me to be too OCD about it.
I have found that too much lubricant causes more mess and attracts more crap, so I don’t overdo that. It gets a wash, don’t you worry, when the coffee stains are noticeable. It does get ridden more than it gets cleaned though.
Lots of rain in the last couple of years here, but being Rule #9 compliant, I just ride #1 in the rain. No rain bike for me, just a bit of extra WD40 on the drivetrain. It might be a bit out of vogue now, and it smells a bit when you spray it on, but it is still a wonderful water repellant.
On the chain cleaning point: I did a ride with 15 k on gravel & dirt a few weeks ago. Lots of gunk on the chain after. Being of the @Oli school I don’t believe in degreasing the thing, but there was a lot of dirt up in the interior of the chain. So I put some Rock n Roll lube in the chain cleaner to get the dirt off. After that you could eat off the chain and it was well lubed. Discuss.
@frank
And will continue to more than make up for it for another 25 weeks. 35, if adjusted for HST and general Canadian HTFUness.
@PeakInTwoYears
Given the cost differential between Campagnolo chains & cassettes, I regularly check for chain stretch with the proper tool and err on the side of more frequent chain replacement. 7k km is about what I get.
@frank
Whachoo talkin bout Willis?
My Shimano cassettes all have spacers between the larger cogs. The smallest ~three come off in a little group while the larger ones all come apart individually and have little spacers you have to keep track of while cleaning everything…
@mcsqueak
This puzzled me also, my largest three cogs come off together but the rest are separate. There are three spacers for the mid range and then the smallest cogs have an integrated spacer. It’s maybe just that @frank doesn’t ever work on Shimano.
All here probably know this one but the moist baby wipes are perfect for a snappy cleanup. Not much use if you have been riding cross or MTB but gets rid of grease and grime pretty well. Just make sure you dont pinch the last pack when your other half needs them for the infant. That’s a once only mistake.
@frankYeah I just checked the MSDS for Dawn/pretty much any dish soap – Sodium Laureth Sulphate and Sodium Lauryl Sulphate, which are sodium salts. I would say what you have been doing is fine if you give everything a good rinse and more importantly a lube after, your upkeep sounds exemplary.
@Nate Found a site comparing chain stretch tools http://pardo.net/bike/pic/fail-004/000.html#commercial-wear-measuring-tools. Who knows, you may have the right one. It basically said most need to add more tension to the measurement, or measure from the wrong side (add slack rather than taking it up). A mate just bought a cheap as chain and hangs it on the wall, then hangs the used chain against it and measures the diff and compares to what The Sheldon Brown says (I think 1/8th inch over 12 links is worn out?). I do the same but measure at 24th link for increased effect, therefore easier measurement.
Here seems like an opportunity to seek advice on chain wear as it’s been brought up…
Is it prudent to change the chain at regular intervals and before it’s visibly worn (as described by @Beers ) in order to protect the cassette? I’m asking as I’m about to buy a new cassette for some new wheels and my LBS guy mentioned replacing the chain and cassette from the existing setup? The drivetrain I’m running now has about 6000km over nearly a full year of NW England riding conditions on it. To be honest, if it fell apart then I’d just have an excuse to upgrade but it’s still good to know!
@Beers
I find using a car wash-n-wax real soapy does a great job. I use hot water so it ‘melts’ any road grime, brake poo, lung butter off the steed, but I stay away with the wash-n-wax from the rim’s braking surfaces. There I use only a dampish cloth. If it’s the “BIG CLEAN”, I take off the tyres, tubes and really give them all a good clean with damp cloths.
The “BIG WASH” for me is total dismantle; chain wheels off, jockey wheels off, cassette off/apart, pedals off, cables off, tyres off, brakes off/springs un-clipped, chain off. Don’t throw away disused toothbrushes and ice-cream tubs. Great for cleaning the lubed parts. Either solvent or what ever spirit is within reach. Always leave the seat and stem alone – took long enough to find the ‘right position’. Usually hang bike on the clothes line with the seat. The “BIG CLEAN” Always a on sunny day, kid’s in the backyard/cubby house, said mutt soaking up the sun near by, VMH offering beverages.
I like to have a clean steed also however the sand in the hourglass runneth out too quickly !!
I have just recently after a shitty rain soaked day given the SST a decent tub and used the trusty Park Cyclone, but never, never and I repeat never have I gotten it so clean as to look like the silver beasts in the picture frank. ….. you could eat ya lunch of those cogs ……
Looks like if got some serious scrubbing to do on the Ultegra’s
@heinous
Visibly worn is probably far too late for the chain. I use a Park Tool Chain Checker (Item # CC-2) and change at .75% wear as recommended. Change the chain regularly and change the cassette when a new chain doesn’t change smoothly.
It’s hard to say what distance that will be at as it depends on your lube, maintenance frequency, riding style and location. My last chain was changed at .75% wear after 3,800 km but I live in South Wales and every ride involves at least 500m of climbing, usually more.
Interesting to note that that particular chain was cleaned and lubed frequently with Rock n Roll Gold. My current chain is at 4,500 km at still not at .75% wear (getting close) it has been ridden much the same but lubed with ProLink Gold from new. Not exactly a controlled trial but a significant difference. ProLink Gold is a messier in that it is stickier but shifting is smoother and apparently better chain life.
@Mark1 Thanks mate – I’ve learned too late to check the chain wear regularly. I’m obviously putting a massive amount of power through it…
For a Velominatus Neophytus, I’m pretty good about keeping my kit clean and maintained. Once I’d degreased my chain, I found that I’d committed myself to much more regular maintenance though I’ve been using a lube which I suspect is too light for what has passed for the summer here.
I’m definitely going to explore Frank’s waxing regime this winter – my Sunday afternoons are too often spent washing a significant proportion of Lancashire off my drivetrain so anything that makes it less sticky “down below” can only be good.
@Mclennan
Which reminds me – here’s the details of the industrial wet wipes I got from the LBS:
@Mclennan I second the baby wipes – I use them after each ride to wipe down the frame, rims, hubs and tires. I find it helps cut down on the need for full wash.
When a full wash is in order I swear by original Dawn dish detergent (for the bike) and LA Awesome citrus degreaser from the dollar store (in the chain cleaner). I finish up with Eagle One Nanowax on the frame and Demonde Tech to lube the chain.
The cleaning ritual is the one thing carbon or black parts can never beat polished metalnon. The satisfaction of cleaning polished crankset and mechs is one that is hard to beat.
I once asked Mrs L if I could temporarily store the No 1 in the bedroom, “Why not ? Its the cleanest thing in the fucking house ” was the only reply.
@heinous Lancashire eh ? Near enough my part of the world. It pretty much makes the rain bike and No 1 bike the same thing for me.
@Lepidopterist
Gold! I get a similar-ish reply when I’m out in the shop cleaning the shiny bits; “Your bikes are totally spotless, living in a garage so cluttered you can’t walk through, except to get to your bikes and tools”…………
@snoov
This is probably exactly what he’s talking about. Although seems to me 11s Campa also puts the bigger cogs on a carrier. I’ll have to check when I get home.
@Nate
I just started over with Ultegra chain and cassette and Force cranks (CAAD10, so I stayed BB30). We’ll see how far I get this time. I keep things fairly clean, but switched from ProLink to a homebrew of OMS and synthetic motor oil. Maybe on the next go ’round I’ll switch back to ProLink or Dumonde and see what happens.
When I start thinking about how the various drivetrain components wear out at different rates and costs I find myself staring at a piece of lint and breathing through my mouth.
@Nate
Older Shimano cassettes (mine is 7spd 105 I believe) came with three bolts holding the larger cogs together. These were entirely unnecessary and could simply be removed, allowing all cogs and spacers to be taken apart for cleaning or assembling a custom cassette. I wish they were still made this way.
I don’t know how you guys feel about Bicycling Magazine but their web site actually had a really good video of a BMC mechanic cleaning a team bike and discussing tips – the process and tools he used were very simple and easy to replicate. I learned more in the 2 minutes it took me to watch the video then I could ever have learned by trial and error.
http://bcove.me/vvds06dl
This is getting like an OCD self help group – 80+ postings in under 24 hours on cleaning things. Every time we mention cleaning stuff the same shit happens – and I now realise that I’m not alone in having the only organisation in my universe revolving round a clean bike and kit.
By the way did anyone see the state of Jensie’s suitcase in that video of his hotel room – quote “chaos is good” – that’s exactly like my suitcase when I go on a trip (like today). I actually have something in common with Jensie other than the arrangement of my chromosomes and opposable thumbs.
Let’s hear the Tall Tales from the Velominati about how long their components lasted because they kept them clean. I am going on 8000 miles on a bro-set, but have recently put on the third chain in that period, replacing it before the 1.0 wear mark on the Park Tool. The clean drive train still shifts very smoothly, although I’m not sure I can tell the difference between “shark shaped worn teeth” and designed shifting ramps.
Another money making idea: someone make a wear indicator tool for cassettes and chainrings?
@the Engine
Suitcase = Chaos. Most definitely.
Bike bag = Chaos. Never.
@Nate
Indeed. Chains are cheaper than cassettes. Change the chain often enough and the cassettes stay happy longer. I missed my window this year and blew about a grand on chains and cassettes. Not a fun way to burn through cash.
@snoov
Indeed. I was seduced by the power cone of SRAM that I had just been discussing and forgot that Shimano comes apart, too. Don’t use it frequently enough to remember how they’re put together.
@frank
I never understood why people change out a whole cassette. In reality you spend most of your time in 2-3 “pet” gears, and those are the ones that wear. Just replace those. Way cheaper. I don’t buy into the notion that your chain and cogs “wear together” anyway. I go thru about 3 chains for each time I replace shark finned cogs.
As always… Great read Frank!! Even though it doesn’t really need it, I’m inspired to was bike #1 today before I head out to ride.
You guys getting 7500km out of chains… is that unique to Campy, are they particularly durable? I’ve been running KMC X10SL’s forever and only get about 5000km at most before my park chain gauge says it needs replacing?
@frank
Damn straight they do. Removing the cassette and scrubbing the cogs in a tub of warm water and solvent is 100x more satisfying then just flossing them with a rag while still on the wheel.
Inspired by the sheer volume of comments on cleaning the bike I went to the Scottish equivalent of an EFADS today and bought some supplies, various brushes and rags and fluids and stuff. The weather brightened up enough this pm to spend a happy hour with the bucket o’ suds and my new bits n’ bobs, result nice shiny steed and then relubed the chain with some genuine offshore chain oil.
Had to tell Lady Strtahlubnaig to keep her grubby paws off my cleaning kit, strictly for the bikes I said……
@scaler911
As an experiment, I’ve been riding around town locked in at 38×16. Even with the hills around Seattle, there’s very little that can’t be done in that gear. I can understand why some commuters use a single speed for easier maintenance and less wear.
@Nate – Mmmm, Rock ‘n’ Roll Lube. The gold stuff is the shit! The only problem is that – well, until I got my work stand, that is – getting that shit on the wheels means squeaky brakes on your first big descent. (Fortunately for me, that squeaky descent was on Sunday, going down Hicks. I rode the rear brake ’till the squeaking went away and everything was good again…)
@Lepidopterist
Not to mention an old, lovely set of brake calipers.
@Leroy
You guys getting 7500km out of chainsI put 7500 or so kms before replacing my 11s Campa chain. One of the inner face plates got bent so I decided to replace before the thing blew up on me. No need for new cassette at the time. I check my chains with one of those stretch indicators.
Most of you probably know this, but the 2nd level all steel cog cassettes (Ultegra, Chorus) wear better and last longer than the higher end ones with Ti in the big cogs (Record, SR, DA). Similarly don’t see the point in hollow pin chains. I’ll gladly take the durability and a few extra grams.
@frank
Is there something you are hiding from your Campagnolophilic brethren? Better to come clean now, before things get out of hand.
@eightzero
Frame wore out before my DA 7800 shifters and mechs did. They still work like new, although they don’t see much use these days.
@Nate
I wonder if that’s why I’m not getting nearly as much longevity out of my chains… The X10SL series are decidely minimalist.
@eightzero
Wear goes in the other direction; basically the ramps all help lift the chain onto the next cog; the wear in the cassette is an elongating of the valley between cogs and a sharpening of the tooth – like a sharks tooth. You can usually see the telltale widening horizontally of the wear as it starts to sit in.
My chains last less long the more I Rule #10 the climbs around here. Makes a significant difference. I roll V-Meter a lot of the time, though, so no clue how many kms wind up in the chains.
@strathlubnaig
What the holy fuck is EFADS? Translate into ‘murcan, please.
@Nate
No, no! Never. I was discussing it with my newest Pedalwan yesterday just before posting that; he is looking at a SRAM Red CX machine and the thought of the dome cassette was in my mind at the time.
So basically, I didn’t inhale.