La Vie Velominatus: Perched Eyewear
There is something supremely Fantastic about a precisely manicured set of sunglasses, particularly when they’re not being used for their intended purpose. Certainly, there are times when circumstance offer no alternative but to actually look through them, but for the most part, it’s a bit pedestrian to use sunglasses for seeing through.
I’ve been obsessed with sunglasses since I was a kid; photos of the Smallest Frank Imaginable feature sunglasses in close proximity, usually perched atop my head of wavy brown hair and rarely anywhere near my eyes. As an athlete, sunglasses have never been far adrift, whether in skiing or cycling, and – in all seriousness – for good reason: eyes are fragile things that should be protected.
Nevertheless, whenever any kind of effort is required, I quickly find myself moving the eyeglasses away from my eyes in an almost claustrophobic panic, and it wasn’t until my most recent ride up Haleakala in my 30th year of sport that the reason for this occurred to me. As athletes, we are hugely dependent on our vision to gauge our effort.
Flying by V-Meter only, our vision offers a constant feedback loop to how near the Man with the Hammer has wandered, and how sharp his blow might be. As we approach sustained effort at or above aerobic threshold, one of the early signs of Diminishing V Returns is the flushing of blood from our cheeks followed closely by the tunneling of our vision. Color is desaturated, then the sides box in a bit, then things get a bit narrow and blurry, and after that the deterioration is not normally recalled in any degree of clarity.
It struck me like a bolt from Merckx’s Crankset: when my vision starts to go, I tear away my sunglasses in order to gauge my effort without the abstraction of the lens. So long as I ride within myself, the shades happily cover my eyes; when I am at my limit, they come off and pop onto the helmet. I used to blame claustrophobia, now I realize it is a matter of gaining an unobstructed view on the V-Meter.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
I can only hang my eyewear over the neck of my base layer — just before I sense the “pop” coming on.
Over the years I’ve tried the perching look, and fail at it. Destroyed a few pairs if Oakley razor blades, frogskins. gave up buying specific eyewear. Can a cord attached to each arm going around the back of the neck acceptable?
Pantani makes it look so easy!
@sthilzy No, No, No, for your granny only!
Thanks to http://ildolore.cc/ for the pic.
:::drool:::
@sthilzy Pantani really took the whole Pirate look a bit too seriously.
If it’s daylight I have my sunglasses on.
If I start a ride in the dark I hang them off the back of my jersey rather than on my head – it never feels secure. Pros know their sponsors will give them a new pair if they fall.
At the moment though my morning rides are finishing before sunrise so the glasses aren’t even going on.
So true. I think it might have a little bit to do with blurry vision when pushing your own personal limits. And the glasses tend to hurt the bulging veins in my temples.
Briko glasses from the mid ’90s always tickled my fancy, especially the flourescent yellow arms, blue rims, big white writing. Oh man.
@TBONE
Humph, the pic didn’t upload as expected.
Inverted through the helmet vents is usually pretty secure. Usually.
Eyewear looks best perched on a cycling cap IMO.
I have devised a theory as to why @frank cannot find an acceptable cycling cap these days, helmets. Not to start a debate, but they don’t go well together. In order to not have the helmet pushed back-up at a terrible angle, the peak of the cap must be very short, this short peak looks awful once the helmet is removed. In the old days of the cycling cap, helmets were not worn, and the leather hairnets had a higher “brim” which allowed the wearing of a proper cap while still maintaining the ability to see.
@starclimber
Mostly.
I never take my glasses off, especially when I’m on the rivet. It’s like a professional poker player, I don’t want people to see my eyes or else they may know how tired I am…
O, Pantani. I don’t care how much Blow and EPO were in practice. You were fucking magic!!! End of story.
Rather than the onset of hypoxia, I find that the reason I want to shed my sunnies when at Vmax is so that I can gain the cooling advantage of a 12 km/h breeze on a few extra square centimetres of exposed skin/eyeball. I use untinted lenses at night to avoid the inevitable bug strikes.
Now that I need reading glasses I’m stuck with the V-Meter because I can’t see the frikkin readout on my Cateye.
Map reading on the MTB is particularly hilarious if you forget to squirrel away a pair of specs.
Solutions and suggestions please…
@DerHoggz
Cycling caps had short brims in the ‘old days’ too, as you’ll see from the various images of Merckx, de Vlaeminck etc which adorn this site.
Whether or not you wear it with a helmet irrelevant. The peak has to be short so that you can see ahead when you’re riding, especially if you are in the drops. It’s a perfect combination of form and function – you see just far enough ahead to be safe but not so much the the sun or rain comes through.
As for whether the short peak looks awful without the helmet, I fundamentally disagree. I think they look much better than a baseball-style cap, and terrible under a helmet – it’s always wrong. See below…
Does this look awful ?
Does this look awful ?
@the Engine
Contact lenses. I’m blind as a bat so I have to ride with them to see anything past about 30cm. This makes some high quality eyewear (M-frames currently, Radars in the near future) essential to stop your lenses blowing out when going downhill. As a result the glasses stay in place unless I’m on a big climb or more commonly, unless its raining. Again. Still haven’t mastered the single-handed removal and installation in helmet vents as seen in @Frank’s latest video – strong work, very PRO. I’ll keep practising.
My current set of cycling eyewear is photosensitive, so covers all possibilities from pitch black (before dawn) to sunny days with the snow here. I’m happy with that, but they do sometimes go in the helmet on a climb.
D.
I’ve touched Pantani’s climbing machine from the 1998 Giro and it’s pared back to the bone so as to not obstruct access to his V meter.
Front mech shifter on the downtube to slightly reduce weight; he only climbed on the big ring so didn’t need it. Low saddle to bar drop to accommodate always using the drops. Every flat part drilled with holes to within an inch of collapse to reduce weight. And like the pilot the machine was also really small.
You could feel the years of hard use radiating from every component. It was definitely about the bike.
I leave my sunnies on regardless of how much effort is being exerted. Even in the rain I find it more comfortable and practical to have them on rather than water and road grit being flung into my eyes. Oh, one must look fabulous at all times as well whilst on the bike….
@ChrisO
The upper pic is ok, it’s the jaunty hipster placement in the lower picture that is just awful.
How about this:
for some vintage eyewear placement on the late Pierre Cogan…
I’ve been told very firmly on here before that modern cap brims must always be flipped down as they are too big to be flipped up – especially the Pearl Izumi ones that I was rocking last year.
Rule #22 only covers the general prohibition of off bike cap wear – I feel very strongly that the Keepers should hew in to the granite of the walls of the hollowed out volcano wherein the original rules are guarded 24 hours a day an addendum (I could never suggest an additional Rule as I am not worthy) giving the law on cap peaks.
Additionally – whilst Rules #36, #37 and #39 give specific instructions on wearing eyewear on the bike in the first place; point out that it must be cycling specific and that it shall always be worn over helmet straps there is no guidance to the off-bike wearing of cycling specific eyewear.
Is sporting Jawbones whilst driving a Ferrari, perusing “Cyclist” on the balcony of one’s condo or shark fishing ok or is one automatically rendered a douche?
@sthilzy
Do you mean a cord from each arm of the sunglasses? or each of your arms and around your neck like little kids wear to keep from losing their mittens? Either way I’d say ‘no’.
@the Engine
@Fausto
As @the Engine must know, contacts don’t help with presbyopia (what happens when you get old as fuck and your eyes won’t focus on stuff up close and you have to pull reading glasses out of your pocket and sit them in front of your contacts).
Yeah, the mtb thing and maps is just a pain in the ass. I can get by using the display on my Android phone, zooming in and out in the app I’m running. Generally, though, I have a pair of cheap, thin, plastic readers in my jersey or jacket because I’ve gotten to the point at which I always have a pair on my person anyway.
Apparently Delgado disagrees with me
Stylin group of a-holes right here.
@VeloVita
Michael Mcintyre agrees with you if it’s any consolation. The bit about using a cord is about 2 mins in.
@the Engine
You can get some stick on magnifyers and just cut a small piece to put in your sunnies. I’ve been meaning to do this but can still read my Cateye if I squint. I should order some since the day will come soon when I’ll get lost and cant read the GPS on my phone.
Frank, I was intrigued to see you in the Volcano Climb sticking your shades into your helmet with one hand. I don’t think I’ve ever tried this & I’m not sure if it is due to being extremely careful with mine or that I’ve tried it and have needed two. Hmm, maybe your shades & helmet are better mates? Or, maybe you have a lot more practice at it. I tend to leave mine on unless it’s getting too dark, no matter how blurry the V-meter is getting.
Yup, a long-time lover of sunglasses here as well. I spent a lot of hard-earned lawn mowing money on cool sunglasses as a kid. I’m still pissed about the degenerate from my high school who broke into cars on my block and stole things when I as in 11th grade. The fucker got my Oakley Subzeros and I’m still angry about it. I’m sure his path hasn’t improved much, but that’s cold comfort.
Is that Chris Horner flashing the V-sign?
@Ron
If you’re talking about the photo of me and Frank, the sign o Merckx flasher is @urbanwhitetrash.
@seemunkee
Brilliant. I just ordered a pair of these to try out. Thank you.
Rule #12 is also relevant to cycling glasses. Now is the perfect time to add to the collection by replacing the LA signature M frame Pros and anything with Livestrong yellow. Bargains available on ebay sometime soon.
Eyes are too precious not to be protected at all times. I’ve been hit in the face by insects that feel the size of a hummingbird often enough to be grateful for decent specs. Clear for dark, different shades of lens for daylight, MTB in trees and iridium for the odd sunny day and cycling holiday abroad. Oakley hydrophobic works well at shedding rain water and minimising misting although vented lens also help there.
I never got into caps as sweat soaked cotton against the head never appealed. I must give them a try again though. Maybe it’s an age thing? Maybe the V community influence? I suspect the latter as I’ve been ‘old’ for longer than I care to remember.
If you are prepared to allow the frame to stretch a little placing the glasses into the helmet vents one handed is pretty straightforward.
I always wear glasses…I just hate the idea of a fly in the eye at 35kph to be rapidly followed by an endo…
I also have to remove them on climbs…I have yet to find a set that will not fog up as I blow steam out of every gasket I have, currently I am using a set of non cycling bolle’s simply because none of the crappy cycling glasses I have ever bought (mostly very cheap) have been any good whatsoever.
I cannot stand the look of Oakelys, like many pros there are just some faces that don’t go with the jawbones look and make you look like a fuckwit…
Lusting after and saving for a pair of these Rudy Project ones with photochromic lenses
@seemunkee
Do pros wear stick on magnifiers?
Do they look fantastic?
I have to wear glasses at all times. This is a combination of correction and safety. Interestingly, I did a gran fondo start last year before sunrise, so I was obligated to use my everyday specs for a short period of time. In keeping with The Rules, I very carefully inserted my Jawbones In My Vents, and brought along a case for the specs.
I’ve never gotten contacts to correct as well as specs, and I gave then up some decades ago. I now need progressives, but stick with single vision cycling eyewear. The Jawbones set me back $500USD, but I do like them. And even though I’m old now, I think they increase the pro panache level. Can’t see the cyclometer on the bars though, so I have to do the flippy-up thing if I need to check something. And I’ve discovered that I hardly ever really do. Best feature of the Garmin 705 is the moving map, and I can set the course display big enough so I can see if Im on or off it.
I refuse to wear inserts though. Sure, this puts a drain on the quid-pile, but so be it.
scaler – That was a joke, but he does look a bit like Horner, no?
I’m definitely looking forward to the day when I can justify/afford prescription shades with a few different lenses. They ain’t cheap, even with some health insurance outlay put towards them. The only time I ever put contacts in is when I cycle and play soccer, otherwise it’s eyeglasses.
I have M-Frames and they are pretty nice but I think Radars are the nicest cycling-specific shades I’ve worn. Maybe I like mine an extra little bit because I found them in a bush while walking the dog at the local upper-crust uni. I call them my Kool Moe Dee shades because they have the Pitch lenses that are far too big on my face/head. Not all of us are using HGH like Mr. Bonds so my head isn’t growing much these days.
If anyone wants to trade some Pitch lenses for the Path lenses I’m in. They’re slightly mirrored and in a grey tone. Nice, but designed for the bigger lads.
This article is reasonably related to this thread:
http://velonews.competitor.com/2013/01/bikes-and-tech/the-torqued-wrench/the-torqued-wrench-i-dont-believe-you_270826
“[Cycling g]ear transcends its physical features; in a sport like cycling, where man and machine are so thoroughly intertwined, the way a product makes you feel is just as important as its actual functionality.”
Kinda like my Jawbones. I’ve actually had eyewear I like better, but these make me feel like a Badass.
Maybe one of the Keepers can send Caley an invitiation to join us here. I sense he seeks the path of Merckxian enlightenment.
@JohnB
The universe was kind enough to take care of this for me earlier in the year when I crashed wearing the Livestrong Radars the VMH bought me a couple of years back & scratched the fuck out of the lens. I can still use them with the clear lens I have but given the insurance company let me replace them with custom V-coloured Jawbones with one set of Photochromatic lenses & one set of light enhancing ones there’s very little need for the clear Radar lenses.
@DerHoggz
You just have to know how to wear the cap without the helmet, and you just have to know how to wear it with it.
Start here, with the three point system.
http://www.velominati.com/tradition/look-pro-part-i-three-point-system/
Then move on to the discussion on the proper cycling cap; this is not a theory, by the way – it is simply the way it is.
http://www.velominati.com/folklore/look-pro-part-ix-proper-cycling-caps/
When worn correctly with a helmet, it is quite a good looking combination on all counts.
The search for the V-Cap continues predominantly because those companies who make the right size brim with the right fabric all make their caps in China and with China comes enormous volume requirements – and I’m just not willing to do that. I continue my quest for a good vendor and actually have a good lead from @Adrian, but I’ve not picked that up as we were busy with our book deadline (it was Jan 1), redesigning the V-Kit and socks, running the site, and (for me) starting a new job.
Bidons are coming as well, by the by.
@frank
Wow, is that an example of looking Casually Deliberate during an interview?
Am I wrong, here?
@frank At the Worlds in Geelong year before last, they were handing out free caps to everyone, that were perfect – the brim is 50cm at its widest point. Branded Cyling Australia, no manufacturers label but had a Santini brand printed on the back. sorry dont have a photo.
Castelli Retro and Capo GS caps are nice.
@ChrisO
@frank
I wouldn’t consider the Cav pics to be a short peak. Maybe it is a combination of my head/helmet/position that causes problems. However, going off the 3PS article, none of the people who are wearing a helmet properly could wear a cap with such a peak. The classic position has the cap up around one’s hairline (possibly lower for you older gents), which then puts the peak into the proper position. I have two caps, the one with the short peak is wool and the peak can’t be more then 3cm (I don’t have it on hand ATM) and fits perfectly, while the one with the standard length blocks my view unless I adjust my helmet so it isn’t covering my forehead.
Do you have any pics of proper helmet+cap wearing?
@frank new job? We all thought your job was right here taking care of us assholes.
Sox? Bidons? Cool!
Very timely thread for me. I was out this evening in the pissing rain, coming down hard enough that it was difficult to ride without the glasses on because it was uncomfortable to keep my eyes open; but the rain was beading on the lenses so badly that it was nearly impossible to see. The problem became much worse when it became dark as every street light and head/taillight was refracted 10,000 ways in the droplets on the lenses.
Is there anything to put on the lenses to bead and shed the water? Like Rain-X for the windshield? I would try that, but I’m afraid of what it would do to plastic lenses.
@Spun Up
Urine.
@PeakInTwoYears
Straight from the tap or chilled? Does women’s urine work better than men’s? How about pregnant women, or animals? I have a bottle of doe urine in the garage. Will that get it? If I eat asparagus before I pee on my glasses, will everyone be able to tell or just me?
Inquiring minds want to know…
@Spun Up
Well, I tried doe urine. No bucks came around, and my glasses fogged up, and I ate my deer tag that season. I suggest trying the urine of an attractive young woman. But as my neighbor Cooter will tell you, you really want to make sure she’s of legal age, first thing.