On Rule #93: The Throw Down
The human mind is designed to forget how much things suck. That is a fact. If women had the capacity to retain meaningful data on how horrible things can be, there would be exactly zero families on the planet with more than one child. This has nothing to do with how wonderful children are; it has to do with how birthing a child is the most painful thing one can do in this life and live to tell the tale. Or so I’m told. But women happily bear a second or even a third child; with each labor a fresh-faced surprise at how much the birthing process blows on a visceral level.
On the other hand, we are very good at remembering how great things can be. Like sex. Which is an ironic counterpoint to the above paragraph. I swear I didn’t plan that. (I don’t “plan” any of my writing. I do this for fun.)
I ostensibly observe at this stage in the article-writing-process that maybe I should start planning some of my writing. Because this is going nowhere.
I am vocally quiet about my uneasiness with Strava from the perspective that it causes us to focus on doing good times on segments of our rides which is in conflict with the discipline required to Train Properly. That said, Strava can be a lot of fun in the sense that it provides a kind of passive-active competitive nature to Cycling. To that point, I have been riding with the group out of Hedrick Cycles in Greenwood, Seattle recently; the owner, Carson, is on a rampage to collect the KOM‘s on the local circuits.
KOM is an oxymoron because none of these targets are climbs; he is chasing after the descents.
Seattle has a lot of good descents hidden around, even within the metropolitan area. Mostly because it is a very hilly area to the extent that I can’t find a satisfactory “flat” route to spin on for a recovery day. Which means I’ve learned to “recover” on climbs. Which feels a little bit like bragging. You’re welcome.
As a non-GPS-using rider, I have been very happy to help Carson in his endeavor to bag some tags on the local descents as lead-out monkey and I have to admit it is one hell of a cortisol fix. The descents aren’t even about the KOM anymore, the whole group just attacks one another over and over again all the way down the descent until we reach a stalemate and we start to work together, burning ourselves out and rolling off the front like a worn-out banana peel.
Based on the opening paragraph of this article, I understand that the following claim is unprovable: these descents have put me further into the hurt locker than many climbs I’ve done, barring Haleakala.
Which brings to bear an important reminder: descents are not for recovery. They should hurt every bit as much as the climb, if not more. And if you misjudge a corner, it will hurt a lot more than the climb, possibly for a bit of a while because road rash sucks.
Ride hard on the way up; ride harder over the top, and ride like you stole something on the way down. That is all.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
“I ostensibly observe at this stage in the article-writing-process that maybe I should start planning some of my writing. Because this is going nowhere.”
Yes, laughed out loud at that one in the office.
This is all well and good, and I do love a fast descent, but caution is sometimes advised.
I recently rode in the Ariege Pyrenees, and did a loop of the Port de Lhers, descending into Massat and then climbing up the Col de Port to return. Towards the top of the Port de Lhers the mist/drizzle descended, so I wrapped up as I made the summit and headed straight down to avoid getting cold.
On the first hairpin I applied the brakes and this is the moment I remembered that the bike shop owner had fitted brand new pads to the bike, and also that it was the very first time I’d used them that day, and also that they were covered in water and grime from the ascent.
I great deal of nothing happened, I continued towards the bend at the same speed, until I grabbed a bit harder at the levers, at which point the wheels stopped turning but the bike continued in the same direction, but for extra excitement it was now moving sideways. I was just looking for the softest bit of tarmac to lie down on when I managed to get my balance ride and correct the skid.
I went quite slowly down the rest of the descent…
@RobSandy
As I was reading that I thought it was going to end as a consequence of left/right rear/front swap when hiring a bike on the continent or USA.
The Douglas Adams in the Hitchhikers Guide had it that flying was easy, all you had to do was step off a building and forget to fall. He could have had it that you rent a bike in a foreign in land and at the critical juncture forget that the brakes are swapped.
@Teocalli
…and if that happened to be, say, on the descent of the Tourmalet it might also be the last journey you ever make.
The brake swap didn’t bother me. Probably because I’m never sure which way around they are on my own bike.
One day I’ll remember not to drink coffee while read here… Coffee everywhere… Again…
PS I disagree about giving birth being the most painful thing one can do in this live. But I guess that just proves your point…
Spot on Frank, spot on.
These articles are really going downhill, Frank.
“Ride hard on the way up; ride harder over the top, and ride like you stole something on the way down.“
I have never been a climber, but I do descend like I’m escaping from the scene of a crime. For me the descent is a ‘recovery’ ride in the sense that it is my only chance to chase down and recover my position back in the bunch before the next climb.
as i’ve mentioned before, i have very few hills to go up, which means i have very few to go down as well. However, i do know when the gradient is even slightly in my favor. I believe speed=more speed. a hill (or tailwind in my case) is not an excuse for a free ride but motivation to get in the biggest gear you can spin and crush it. The rides i end up burying myself the most are the ones where mother nature has given me my own personal lead out train.
“Mostly because it is a very hilly area to the extent that I can’t find a satisfactory “flat” route to spin on for a recovery day.”
Learning this. Being down in the south Sound there are flat-ish roads to be found, but it’s mostly rolling hills. Actually, hills isn’t even the right word. More like rolling walls, especially down by the shore. Have to crush the descents to have enough giddyup for the next one. Maybe it’s just an exercise in character building.
kick it route* down
@RobSandy
This is no place for rational thought and common sense…
Needs no introduction……..
@MangoDave
Long-time follower of this site. This is why I love it. Carry on…
Frank we don’t want to see you as a statistic. This world would go to hell in the proverbial flowered handlebar basket. And if you haven’t checked out the strava lawsuits for descending data, keep perspective. I love watching pros descend, but am a confirmed slacker descender, myself.
I try not to strava myself against others, just against myself. And I mostly drive to making sure I am getting the required miles in, for my own mental well being. Not tracking HR or Watts, is my push away.
And then you aligned sex with babies…….with babies first…..and never mentioned the 18+ years after the fateful moment of fun, not on a bike!
@azryder
It’s your whole concept behind “moment of fun” that has me concerned there…….
@Teocalli
I’ve been riding with my brake cables the continental way (right=rear/left=front) for a few years now. It was strange at first but second nature to me now. I didn’t do it out of any desire to precondition my brain for riding on the continent, but because when restoring my de Rosa it was just the way they had to be. The curve on the cables are gentler, and thus function and look better. Well, at least I think so!
I honestly don’t have a Scooby doo why we in certain parts of the world have them the other way around at all. It doesn’t seem to make any sense. Anyone got knowledge on this? Oli?
@DVMR
Could be a personal ergonomic thing?
Years ago I use to have the Right-Rear/Left-Front until breaking my left wrist in two separate A over T’s, and was not able to brake well using LH on front. So switched over sides. Front cable sweep a bit tight, but used to it.
Was just about to tear down a descent today (in an effort to steal the KOM from a friend). It’s a short descent, but pretty steep, averaging about -11% and straightish. The speed limit is 45 mph, and I knew I’d be up over 50.
And then I caught up with traffic. Some asshat was DRIVING down the hill at 30. Not only did I have to stop pedaling and coast, but had to sit upright and feather the brakes for more than half the way down.
@DVMR
I don’t really know why, but when I started in the 70s most right-handed riders worldwide were right-rear/left-front. The opposite was known as “Italian-style” for reasons unknown, but generally (but not always wtf?) utilised by the Mosers and Saronnis of the peloton.
There was some nebulous justification in that one was supposed to have the strong hand on the rear and the weaker on the front to help prevent over-the-bars accidents in sudden stops, but with the brakes of the day I think this would have been hard to do anyway.
When I got my first bike it came right-rear so that’s what I used, and as I gradually became aware of proper racing bike set-up I set mine from photos of Eddy Merckx, getting the loops out of the top of the lever just so and perfectly even, and I’ve never bothered trying it the other way…this has made for some interesting times test riding client’s machines or borrowing other people’s bikes, but luckily only one ever OTB.
The right-left thing is something I’m truly agnostic about.
I know my TCR is done the European way and I know my Roberts is done the English way but…
1. I couldn’t tell you which was which way around and:
2. I ride them interchangeably and have never had a problem jamming on the wrong brake.
It’s like changing between driving on the left and right, which I have done quite frequently over the last few years. If you have to think too much about it you’ve got problems.
Oh and @Frank, my wife also agrees that childbirth is not the worst thing ever because the pain isn’t constant – it comes in waves so you know it will end. She’s had three without anything more than gas and air and I wouldn’t say she has an exceptional pain threshold so I’ll take her word for it.
@Oli
That’s what I thought too. But also saw somewhere on a GCN video on how to descend like a pro, that you need to brake harder on the front tire, which would negate the above. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oLaSA3Bs0M
Until recently, I did not even know they were wired the other way for the Brits. Scottish coworker told me, he bought a bike in Switzerland but had them rewired.
@bea
my wife says that sciatica was worse than giving birth. I’m not going to dispute, not experienced either.
@ChrisO
I’m also agnostic/ambidextrous. The first time I re-cabled my CAAD8 I realised that I’d get a neater run from the shifter to the front brake if I went Euro. My Supersix hasn’t needed re-cabling yet and I’m slightly scared of the internal cable run to the rear brake (does it have an internal conduit to take the cable through the frame or do I have to thread it through myself?) so it’s still English (which way do the various sheep shagging celtic nations cable their bikes?).
I don’t think about it when I swap from one bike to the other and it’s never caused me a problem. That said it’s pretty flat round here so there’s rarely any truly hard braking.
As for driving in Europe, I usually manage one “daddy you’re on the wrong side of the road!!” incident per holiday.
I have a Strava philosophy question. I often see segments on Strava with about 10 guys having almost identical times as the KOM. After this group, the data show a sudden,significant dropoff in time, a drop of 10% or so. I have personally scored a KOM during a group ride by coming through the group and pulling to the end of the segment just because the timing of the paceline worked out that way. This begs the question as to whether a KOM is legitimate when one gets a leadout, from a group or otherwise. It seems like bullshit to say “I am the King” when without the group you couldn’t possibly have done that time for that segment. What do you gents think?
@VbyV
There’s one local segment where I have a KOM, and the 2nd to 10th (ish) placed riders all have near identical times and all on the same day, i.e. a group chaingang on the same segment.
Pride.
@chris
We don’t use brakes…
@RobSandy
@RobSandy
Nice. A solo KOM on a flattish segment. If you rode it on a normal non-TT road rig, even more kudos. Seems like cheating to take a KOM on a TT bike.
@VbyV
I must be honest, I was riding it on aerobars as TT training.
But it wasn’t flat – it includes a draggy hill.
But you’ve shown a very good point about Strava KOM’s – you need to know how they were ridden. It’s why you can only really use Strava to compare yourself to…yourself.
@RobSandy
I’ve only got a couple of KOMs but having the velominipper on this one is a source of pride. The fact that he’s not that much slower than me at 13 is a source of worry.
@VbyV
You follow the pro riders posting their races on Strava? They knock off KOMs all the time. Is it appropriate for group riders to not post their rides for fear of knocking off a KOM? Or should Strava have logic to discern the difference? Anyways, we have a pile of local segment KOMs set by group rides. It just happens. And they’re fun to do too. We also have local individuals that specifically target segments and get ’em on their own. Very strong riders. Those are very cool KOMs to set. And I’ve gone out and blown away, pardon the pun, segments when I had advantage of a particularly strong tail wind and once knocking off a KOM that had been set for years by a group in local race. Why not? It was fun. At end of day, it’s all part of the Strava nonsense.
@RobSandy
Sheep make for a soft landing.
@chris
My 12 yr old daughter is starting to pick off the local QOMs on climbs. How about being the lady on the receiving end of that “uhhh oh” e-mail and see that a 12 yr old hit it? She maybe weighs 45 kilos with 35 being long legs and 5 being lungs. And she loves to ride a bike fast up a hill. She’ll soon be faster than me as sure as the sun’s gonna rise in the east every day. I don’t mind at all. This was her last year attacking the last 25m of our local club 2km up hill TT. Climbing in the drops. Very cool. Tonight is our first TT of 2016 at this climb. Cheers
@Randy C
Randy,
I agree Strava is fun, and I record every ride. I was just trying to put some perspective on the KOM thing, the fact that there are different circumstances of rides, like tailwind, group, leadout, etc. As Rob said, you can use it to compare yourself to yourself. Relationships to others’ times have many variables.
Starva on, and enjoy!
Tom
@Randy C
If you live somewhere which has ever hosted a pro race you have zero chance of ever getting near the KOM for the segments they rode. I happen to. Some of the times on descents (going back to the original article, shock horror!) are truly terrifying.
It is nice to get a KOM but I know full well the depth of my ability and so if I’ve picked one up it probably means that particular road isn’t ridden very often. Or it’s an odd segment which take in several junctions.
I got one because my GPS malfunctioned once – it was up a steep hill so it was impossible that I’d actually earned it. It bothered me so much that I made the whole ride private to remove the evidence!
@KogaLover
It was nebulous back 40 years ago, I meant. That’s a great video, but they’re actually not saying use the front brake harder, they’re saying not to be afraid of it. Big distinction. Anyway, as we all know, different corners require different braking technique. #whateverittakes
@Teocalli
Especially if you’ve got one installed on the bike before you crash. Standard practice.
@RobSandy
I remember Ted King had some outrageous KOMs on rides during the Tour of California a few years back. He wrote on some that he doubts they can ever be beaten. They are done on closed roads, where the riders can use both lanes on a descent to improve the line, no worries about getting side-swiped at a red light, no need to slow down for the stop signs, etc. Oh yeah, and a pro peloton driving the pace helps too.
@VbyV
I’m going to post a link to this Strava segment (risky I know), for 2 reasons. Firstly it shows the insane speeds these guys get up to (the top 10 are all from the pro race staged as part of Velothon Wales last year, I think). Average speed of the KOM is over 87kph; my average speed for the same segment is 65 and I was nailing it.
Oh, and the other reason? The segment is called ‘I Love Boobies’.
https://www.strava.com/activities/567045806/segments/13747239753
@Randy C
Your daughter looks like a natural on a bike, climbing in the drops is the epitome of style. It’s very cool when they start riding with the grown ups.
My lad is quite happy in the B group on our Sunday club runs and is only really held back by not really having developed much power yet. It’ll come and when it does he’ll fly.
Fabian Aru must read this site judging by today’s stage finish!
Well, well, well. Too busy to check in yesterday. Was taking delivery of a timely gift from a fellow Follower. And they arrived on my birthday no less. Sadly, this was my first one without my beloved Prince. RIP.
Having held a leg and coached the birth of our first child four weeks ago, I am not going anywhere a 2nd one anytime soon…and I had the easy part. Yeesh, what a wild experience that was.
Teocalli – And Stevie K. should have read this a few weeks ago. Actually, he should have just chilled out and played it conservatively.
@ChrisO
Gas? As in nitrous? None of the local hospitals offer that. Think that along with a few other glaring things, this is somewhere the U.S. lags behind other modern nations.
@Teocalli
I’m liking the Fabu! Races with guts and panache and looks damn happy when he wins. I’m sick of watching Contador on a podium, only smiling when he does that tired, cliched pistolero move. I’ll give Nibbles and Aru their due, those Scicilians know how to race.
@wiscot
Aru has an unfair advantage. He has the mouth of a goliath grouper. He’s able to suck in probably 4x the air of a normal human. It’s like doping, but with a mouth.
@chris
That’s funny. When I saw that picture, the first thing I thought was, ” Geez, that kid has style!” Great work.
“Ride hard on the way up; ride harder over the top, and ride like you stole something on the way down.“
I was once stopped by the Po Po in the hills of the East Bay – right in the middle of a flaming hot descent – because they thought I was literally riding like I stole something. I felt bad for the poor guy in the back seat of the cop car who said “nah… not mine… let’s keep looking,” and kinda glad they were taking the time and effort to find a guy’s stolen steed… but none of it was salve for my anger at being pulled over by a patrol car while in the best segment of a screaming descent. First, because it ruined a moment of La Volupte; and second, because it turned out they were NOT, in fact, pulling me over for speeding.
@Ron
Of course not! Who wouldn’t rather bend a pregnant woman over and poke her in the spine with a 12 or 14G needle, right in that sub-millimeter space between the meninges and spinal chord? Duh!
@fignons barber
That’s the young lady that took one look at your Cyfac and said, “I want that bike”! She’s never read the rules. Doesn’t know they exist. Yet, she lives/demonstrates them. She most certainly knows a cool bike when she sees one. Endeavors with special attn looking right for the job. And knows what it means about not getting easier just going faster. Though just maybe she likes her dog more than her bike…
She PR’d the TT btw tonight and promptly set a goal for one second better than my PR.
Meanwhile, a young man on our local high school Mtn Bike team I coach knocked off another one of my KOMs earlier today. Maybe the young dude just digs knocking off the coach’s KOMs ’cause I swear he looks to be targeting ’em off one after another ?!? What a cool cat.
Cheers
@litvi
Yes nitrous – it’s cheaper, easier to manage, less invasive, fewer risks and quicker to wear off. Very much the first choice unless you really want an epidural, although private hospitals tend to go more quickly for the epidural and caesarian options.