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Order: Velominati Hall of VamŽ Inductee

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The Way of the Cycling Disciple: Publication & e-Book Sampler

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] here to read [...] »

Time Out

My wife and I live in subtropical Maui. We moved here partly to break the horrible cycle of fall fitness followed by winters of undersubscribed gym memberships, eleven minute turbotrainer sessions, weight gain followed by depression and a complete loss of cycling fitness every f’ing spring. Bib knickers worn until May to ride exhausting littl...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] Is being able to ride year-round really ideal? Velominati [...] »

“The Rules”

It’s the little things that do my head in when it comes to my bikes. Stem length, seat height, cleat position, they pretty much get tweaked and when the sweet spot is hit, that’s the end of story. But other, more mundane things, can be a constant source of mind-fuck.It seems like I’m on a never-ending quest for the perfect combin...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] which is completely negligible as both go only on the  frame or into your jersey if you are a true scum or a back [...] »

Reverence: Baxter Aftershave

Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at a minimum.Not only...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] douche on your way to a Critical Mass. Whether you use a straight razor or a Bowie knife, use Baxter to keep them [...] »

Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate

Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any oth...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] // Always be Casually Deliberate. [...] »

Technology Simplified: The V-Meter.

Training Properly clearly isn’t everyone’s bag, baby.  Heart rate, power, cadence; it’s all bollocks if you are being told to hold back, or are put into a place where you don’t want/aren’t supposed to be.  If it hurts, and you’re flying, it’s working.  If it hurts, and you’re crawling, it’s n...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] // V Meters or small computers only. [...] »

Don’t Be An Ass: Just Say No To Bad Lycra

I didn’t think this article would ever need to become reality. I thought we could safely file this one in the “Obviously Not Allowed, Fucktards” bin alongside the Rules for reflectors, kickstands, and recumbents.But I stand corrected. Continue reading...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] As a courtesy to those around you, your kit should always be freshly laundered, and, under no circumstances should the crackal region of your shorts be worn out or see-through. [...] »

Decisions, Decisions

I am facing a major problem; one not easily solved.  One of our principal Keepers – Brett – had made mention of the most important element of cycling: the Rules.  While the Rules are ambiguous, they are also very clear.  Not so much “clear” in the sense that any of us really know what they are or what they really mean; mo...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] the World Hour Record. The minimum allowable tolerance is 4cm; there is no maximum, but people may berate you if they feel you have them too [...] »

Reverence: Lezyne Rule 31 Sack

Rule #31 was conceived out of necessity, aesthetics and plain good taste.  Seeing an oversized saddle bag hanging limply by velcro under a Flite, Arione or Regal just isn’t right.  Frame pumps, while they undoubtedly do the finest job of inflating a tube, add nothing but bulk and clutter to the lines of a frame (and aren’t compatibl...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] If absolutely necessary, in a converted bidon in a cage on bike. Or, use one of these. [...] »

Badass by Association: Winter Riding

To me, there is nothing cooler than riding in awful weather.  It automatically associates you with the Spring Classics, held in wet, wind, and rain, over the the worst roads you can imagine.  There is no image of cycling that I love more than of a tough Belgian Pro dressed in knickers, arm warmers, cycling cap perched beneath their helmet, grimac...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may [...] »

Reverence: Baxter Aftershave

Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at a minimum.Not only...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] douche on your way to a Critical Mass. Whether you use a straight razor or a Bowie knife, use Baxter to keep them [...] »

Velominati Super Prestige: Luik-Bastenaken-Luik 2013

There is something to love about a race that makes a deviation to its route for the simple joy of sending a fleet of professional riders up a fiendishly steep and narrow ramp. The Cote du Stockeu offers zero benefit to the route from a logistical standpoint – in fact, all it does is complicate things. On the way down from the Cote de Wanne &#...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] la foto di destra l’ho presa da velominati [...] »

Badass by Association: Winter Riding

To me, there is nothing cooler than riding in awful weather.  It automatically associates you with the Spring Classics, held in wet, wind, and rain, over the the worst roads you can imagine.  There is no image of cycling that I love more than of a tough Belgian Pro dressed in knickers, arm warmers, cycling cap perched beneath their helmet, grimac...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may [...] »

La Volupte: I Was Flying Today

About a year and a half ago, as I was just starting to get really serious about cycling again after dabbling for about a decade, Michelle bought me every past issue of Rouleur and got me a two-year subscription.  This is not a bike magazine.  This is a quarterly publication for cyclists.  It is printed on thick, heavy paper, and each issue is ri...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] fast, or perhaps not even especially well, but it felt terribly free. It was, I hope a fraction of la volupte. This picture is from Monday, when I rode out that way [...] »

Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate

Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any oth...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless, so it is in sports and so it is in fashion for Spring 2013. It is important to be [...] »

Sur la Plaque: Rule #9

As many of you know, there’s been a lot of synergy between BIGRINGRIDING and Velominati for several years now. Though BRR and Velominati have very different flavors, we work on a similar principle: foster passion for the sport through a mix of knowledge, history, and humor tempered with a healthy dose of irreverence, all while obviously makin...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] caption for this photo (on http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/sur-la-plaque-rule-9/), reads “LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR. IF YOU DON’T SEE ICE, YOU’RE NOT AS BADASS AS [...] »

Reverence: Velox Fond de Jante Rim Tape

The very first time I ever pulled a tire and tube off of a rim it made an impression on me and it still does. I’m not sure I expected to find anything other than the tube between the rim and tire but there it was, some sort of tape. The French words, “Fond de Jante” and latin “Velox”, written in blue, lightly stamped u...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] http://www.velominati.com/general/reverence-velox-fonde-de-jante-rim-tape/ googletag.display('div-gpt-ad-1360206149401-5'); __________________ I think next year will be my strongest cycling year. I started a twitter account @SempreCyc… »

Guest Article: The Day of Atonement

Is this still the off season for the people of the North? I hope so. I know it’s -34 fahrenheit where Marko lives so he is only riding three times a week to prepare for the Keepers Tour. It seems @souleur has a little holiday guilt and now that those damn holidays are behind us it’s time to think about the cycling season ahead.Yours in...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] indiscretions during the offseason.  There’s a good article on how The Man operates at the Velominati.  Now, I see The Man everywhere, and he was definitely lurking at last night’s gathering. [...] »

Reverence: Baxter Aftershave

Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at a minimum.Not only...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] douche on your way to a Critical Mass. Whether you use a straight razor or a Bowie knife, use Baxter to keep them smooth. Rule [...] »

“The Rules”

It’s the little things that do my head in when it comes to my bikes. Stem length, seat height, cleat position, they pretty much get tweaked and when the sweet spot is hit, that’s the end of story. But other, more mundane things, can be a constant source of mind-fuck.It seems like I’m on a never-ending quest for the perfect combin...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] I tagged along with Richard on his Trek road bike doing around 28 km/hr. and we chatted about the Velominati rules and other cycling stuff.  The roads were empty except for a few trucks passing on both the [...] »

Portrait of a Hardwoman: Nicole Cooke

Cycling is hard; I’m not leaking any trade secrets with that statement, but it feels good to say it anyway. No Cyclist avoids suffering, but of those who venture into our world, there are some who seek to limit it while others choose to embrace it. Then we have a handful of characters who consider playing Whack-a-Mole with the Man with the Ha...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] Velominati › Portrait of a Hardwoman: Nicole Cooke [...] »

V Day

Ah, February 14 is here again. A very special day for all of us. A day you don’t want to forget. A day when you make that extra effort to show the one you love just how much they mean to you. V Day.On this day, I will rise early, tiptoeing out of bed so as not to make any noise and stir the sleeping. I will dress quickly and quietly, leaving...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] (via www.velominati.com) [...] »

Ill Pro-ghetto: IT lives…

There’s not too much you can buy with $8 these days. A coffee and cake. A tube. Maybe a trashy tabloid magazine (certainly not the likes of Rouleur, Bike or Spoke…) How about a complete bike? For eight bucks? Are you kidding me?It can be done, and yes, I’ve done it. It helps no end that I have access to a bike shop, with a worksho...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] I needed was a back wheel, cranks, BB, and brake calipers. I scrounged the wheeel and brakes from Ill Pro Ghetto, and found a set of 105 cranks and Octalink BB in the bins. It was all too easy. Josh donated a 42t [...] »

Il Progetto e Finito

While I’ve been riding Il Progetto Originale for a month or so now, the finishing touches were still being waited on, either being sought out from bargains online, or finding just the right new old stock to give the old girl just the right blend of old and new.After a long couple of weeks, the Bozzie is 99.9% completo. Continue reading...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] about a year now, my beloved Bosomworth has been sitting forlornly in a corner of the shop lunch room, just a frame and fork waiting to be [...] »

On Rule #64: The Sudden Drop

The severity of a crash exists on two planes, the physical and psychological. The physical is the most obvious and one we busy ourselves with in the immediate vicinity of coming down. Our bodies need time to heal, our kits may need replacing or mending, and our bicycles may need repair work. For weeks and sometimes months, we may carry with us t...

@'s posts:

  1. [...] in the third person whenever possible to avoid grand-standing. An excellent example can be found here. THIRD, if you have visible signs of road-rash or garment destruction and someone asks you what [...] »

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