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Velominatus: Beers

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Waitakere

Tortoise extraordinaire

@Beers's activity:

I think it would be hard for anyone to make the case that Eddy Merckx was Roger de Vlaeminck’s Cycling Sensei, but I think we can all agree that De Vlaeminck was a student of Merckx, if only a student of his domination. But every student at some point becomes the master, and the driven student will always challenge the Order of Things.Eve...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I think, rather to take it further, this is more in the realm of former Allied and Axis military who since those dark days have met each other and found that they are in fact very similar to each other, and were just pawns in a fucked up ga… »

The darker months bring out the macabre in each of us; for Gianni it was the extinction of his beloved Park Tool adjustable clamp. For me, I found myself mourning the fact that I recently purchased a headset press. Ignoring the fact that a Velominatus of my stature didn’t already own one, the mourn behind the mourn is where the interest lies...

@Beers's posts:

  1. Oh, and one day I am going to own me some of those Campa quick release levers, they are delish! »

  2. @Barracuda Is that the same with their alloy/carbon layups as well (RS81 or whatever?) @Dan_R It does concern me that the cone shape supports the bearing vertically and horizontally, while oftentimes the cartridge bearing is only supported vertical… »

Going fast and looking good while doing it is our Velominati creed. Riding on the tops is the domaine of going uphill, where braking and aerodynamics are unimportant. In most other situations that position is too slow. The pros are usually flattened down in the drops or flattened down on the brake hoods. When us non-pros are not climbing, riding on...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Indeed, I have also found my Belgian TT position in much the same wrist position as this. You can lay your forearms on the tops and ensure the forearms are parallel to the ground, ensuring flatback maximum aero to the power of awesomeness… »

White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not to spill on the front of it, the cuffs and collar will look crap by the end of the day regardless. I mean, I can keep from eating something all day, but I can’t keep from drinking coffee or wine, and before very long som...

@Beers's posts:

  1. Haven’t seen this much defensivenessism since the EPMS thread… White is pro full stop. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @geoffrey FUCK YES! »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Beers's posts:

  1. ChrisO That is fascinating for a race diet. Thanks for the info! What did you drink on the bike? A carb/electro, straight electro, and/or plain water? He mentioned the ‘high fat’ was more increasing the healthy fats (avocado, olive, oily fish etc etc), … »

  2. @ChrisO I do hope you are proud, you at least made a conscious decision to burn all your matches first in aide of the team, rather than just wimper off the back to the van. I’m in awe of what you do, and as Buck says, you have some fucking great stories… »

  3. @ChrisO I guess that is the life of the support rider, and some dudes must spend their whole careers smashing for a few stages, one big last effort then stepping in the bus. And I guess then it comes down to your personal motivations and what you find ‘fu… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Beers's posts:

  1. I get to ride with a pro on the weekend, but the organisers require all to don the YJA. Discuss. »

  2. @@blackpooltower Understood. I generally just want the figures and abbreviations are fine, and reading the web for info having one or the other frustrates me a bit. 1.2-1.7g/kg or 1.5-2oz/lb of bodyweight would read ok to me. But I’m a nerd, and it stil… »

  3. @Buck Rogers I never understand why books don’t have both figures! @pistard »

Rule #31 was conceived out of necessity, aesthetics and plain good taste.  Seeing an oversized saddle bag hanging limply by velcro under a Flite, Arione or Regal just isn’t right.  Frame pumps, while they undoubtedly do the finest job of inflating a tube, add nothing but bulk and clutter to the lines of a frame (and aren’t compatibl...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Charlie Mcilroy Read the Masturbation Principle. »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Beers's posts:

  1. ChrisO And, in turn I do the same, under a helmet. To be blunt I’m a fucking useless hubbard compared to you ChrisO, so please disregard this by all accounts. For me, sunshade and perspiration accumulation are benefits that the Uvex doesn’t provide les… »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Monty Stubble Fuck that, you might die between now and then. Life is too short to have such primo shit gathering dust. Put those fuckers back on the bike and ride the shit out of them. Ask not am I worthy, thoust doth ask thy self, are they worthy of m… »

  2. @frank Indeed, I believe pro mechanics know that the pressure is right for le pave when the rim kisses the stones through the tub on the roughest patches. Must be hitting the rim with free abandon at 60kph into the Arenberg.. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Ron Uh, I get up twice a week at V:0V in the morning and ride a bunch ride then ride through to work for 9am. 75k, plus return trip is near to 100 for the day, so it can be done. With kids, it drives me a bit insane with the reduced sleep, but is broug… »

I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish thing to claim to be. What is true, however, is that Batman is pretty cool and it would probably be pretty cool to be a cool dude like Batman. It bears mentioning, however, that I have never been see...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @RobSandy Google is your friend, I found this http://forum.cyclingnews.com/showthread.php?t=8170 Seems to be not exceptional in terms of cycling VO2, but over 440w for an hour sure is amazing! VO2 and HR are of course only indications, you can make up … »

  2. @Barracuda Yeah, it feels dirty doesn’t it? But, as above, it doesn’t mean because they were the best of a bad bunch that you have to like them. And I don’t like the Texan Shitcake. But don’t align yourself with my view, lest the bunch send you to the… »

  3. @Chris Mr Black jacket is also having a sex wee over his presence of awesome »

  4. @frank Lance was always going to be the villain when Pantani was your hero, he was Pantani’s opposition and took him on in your hero’s domain, the mountains. You couldn’t help but wish his fork folded and he ground his face to a pulp on a descent. I don’… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @kixsand So good to see it all work out mate »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka If by ‘us’ you mean investment bankers, lawyers and ceo’s out on their sunday jaunt! Dunno about you guys, but at those prices, budgetatus does not compute, that’s a whole year of bike maintenance in a jersey. All power to anyone who buys it… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @kixsand Hotness.. »

  2. @piwakawaka That depends really, @kixsand might actually be riding too small and crouched up already and should ride a 58 with the 25mm 120mm? How tall are you @kixsand? Any computer I’ve punched my figures in says I should ride 58 and I’m 178cm. I’m pi… »