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Velominatus: ChrissyOne

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Seattle, WA

Social: Website / /

Single female from a small village in the Puget Sound area. Lifelong rider of most two wheeled things, and highly skilled at photography and Awesome. Mountain biker to my bones, I've flirted on and off with drop bars, but never wanted to become one of Those Fucking Roadies. I had an aluminum Cannondale years ago, but it wasn't a love affair. I sold it after a time, and learned not to cheap out and buy the wrong bike. For many more years was a happy mountain biker again - then one day something in my brain snapped, and I became addicted to longer and longer road rides. My derangement grew until I added slicks to one of my prized full suspension classics and piled on the km's. I finally decided to buy The Right Bike and luckily found it, rendered in the silky luscious carbon I could never afford before. My joy has been overwhelming. I still ride the mountain bike, but it's a rare treat. Road biking has given me back the guns of my mid 20's, though I do feel I'm getting soft for lack of big-mountain crashes. The horrible, dark secret of it all is that I do this mainly to improve my motorcycle racing. In conclusion, Bikes. -c

@ChrissyOne's activity:

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. @fignons barber +1 to all these things. Buy the bike. If the question is ever “Should I buy this bike?” the answer is always yes. =) »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. @VeloSix Since I’m not Belgian, and I like to be outside doing things, I will continue to sport a full-body tan. »

@Bianchi_Bob sent his article in just this week. Its sense of urgency required it to be published NOW. We all need reminding to live in the moment; here is a good reminder. Thanks Bianchi Bob. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Thank you Bob. I really, really needed this. »

We are cyclists, the rest of the world merely rides a bike. What defines us as cyclists? Can a recumbent rider be a cyclist, a unicyclist, a fat recumbent rider with hairy legs and a YJA on? I think yes but am I snob for even asking?Years ago, I was helping a woman at another research institution set up some scientific equipment. Evidently we kept...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Did anyone else notice the plumber’s helper holding up the Frejus? Top marks, photo team. »

  2. “Is it the need to ride where we cross the line?” Yes. Even though it’s dangerous. And it hurts. The danger and the hurt are just bridges between all the long stretches of ecstasy. Sometimes we come too close to crossing one line too far. Yet still we … »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. @wilburrox Beautiful! Never sell it! »

  2. For Throwback Thursday, here’s a relic for you. This was my second somewhat-decent mountain bike, a 1993 Trek 930. I destroyed it in less than a year due to my commute across Puget Sound on the foot ferry. The salt water ate this poor machine alive, an… »

Summer is a time for getting fat. Winter is a time for getting fat as well, but in a different way; in Winter we get fat on meals of meat and potatoes covered in sauces made of meat and potatoes. In Summer, on the other hand, our minds get fat: we get nice tans, we tone our muscles, long days see us riding at any hour of the day that suits us. W...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Beautiful story, Frank. Mornings have been chilly along our beach road, too. The fog is gorgeous along there. »

The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.

    The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in the groupetto.

    A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 18, 2014. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. There are bailout points for shorter rides. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here.

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 18, 2014
    10:05 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. @il muro di manayunk Beautiful! Needs red tires tho. ;) »

The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.

    The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in the groupetto.

    A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 18, 2014. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. There are bailout points for shorter rides. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here.

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 18, 2014
    10:05 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

@Nate’s take This year it was time for the Bay Area Cogal to visit my home turf in the East Bay. To make it more than just a long ride on roads I have ridden many times, and instigated by @EricW, the plan was to feature several sectors of dirt fire roads. A few scouting rides later, the route was planned. We rolled out on July 5 with @DaveR,...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Looking sharp! »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. @frank Looking sleek, my friend. I think she looks better with white tape too. »

  2. @Gianni That is precisely why I already adore them. What a massive difference! I rode around the schoolyard in figure 8s just because it was so damn fun. And on smooth tarmac they just vanish. Almost silent. »

  3. Just because I spent all day Monday detailing and I haven’t got tired of looking at this photo yet, here’s a updated shot of Shadowfax. Recent updates include those brand new red Michelin Pro4’s. Quite a change coming from the Gatorskins that I’d been … »

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. @wilburrox The Synapse is actually a very dark blue. It looks bloody brilliant in the sun. =) I spent all day Monday detailing it so I just wanted to show off. »

  2. @wilburrox She’s a beauty! »

  3. Maybe the next bike will be black. »

  4. »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  2. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Never forget your roots, they say… OK, I’m a child of the 70’s, and back then bicycles were as big a part of my life as they are today. We’d always be out riding, building tracks and jumps, and tinkering with our Dragsters, stripping them down to emulate our motocross heroes, with varying results.All these memories came f...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Oh, and don’t forget one of the best films ever made, which I just happened to watch the other night… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdewAg5HC3Y »

  2. Roughly 1980 on my first proper bike – Schuck’s BMX. It must have been early in its life, because reflectors have never lasted long with me. I rode the paint off this bike. »

Brad Wiggins is sitting at home, watching his team implode at a Tour de France he was not invited to.What’s on his mind? An attempt at the Hour Record, that’s what. Now that the UCI has allowed riders to mount a conventional (track) time trial machine in their efforts and the likes of Boardman, Obree, Moser, Rominger, and Indurain all...

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Thank you supporting my ability to rationalize another bike purchase. »

@ChrissyOne's posts:

  1. Ride the Cascades with the Velominati

    Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest friends has gotten…tiresome and cloying. When I first starting riding bikes a few years ago, STP was something of a challenge. A double century over two days seemed to be something epic, something life changing. At the time, it was something to aim for, and I’m glad I did it a few times with Mrs/Dr Eightzero.

    Last year was the last time I’m doing that ride. Oh, it was fun. Nothing Bad happened. The weather was perfect. We had a good time. But…if I hear “on your left” or “CAR BACK!” one more time, I’m gonna frame pump someone. Yes, I ride casually deliberately. Yes, I know there are cars on the road. But just stop it. I Obey Rule #59, so I don’t give a shit if you’re on my left. And actually, I do own the road. I ride as far to the right as is safe, and always actually look over my shoulder if I change lines. Thus, I am obeying not only the Rules, but the law in this state as well.

    The bike club wants $100 for this “fun” and while I understand it is a fund raiser for their various advocacy efforts, for $100 I get little in return. Some cheap-ass Costco snacks and bag transport. 10,000 people at a finish line “festival” means I wait in line for 20 minutes for a $5 beer, then there’s no where to sit to enjoy it.

    So, rather than go all eveyln STeVens further, I’ve decided a Cogal is just the antidote. Cogals lack everything I just described. Velominati are particularly good bike handlers. There’s no yelling on a Cogal, only V, V, and more V. When we recover, we fill the table with empty beer bottles in a comfy corner of a local brewery. Hence, the STV Summer Cogal in Arlington WA on July 12, 2014. If you plan on doing STP, well, have fun. STV is on that weekend, so you can’t do both. I hope you have a $100 worth of fun. STV, OTOH, adheres to the Keepers’ Cogal Principles: Open to all; Free to all. And Epic. Way Epic.

    As is the tradition with the Settle Summer Cogal, we start and end at a Brewery. In this case, the Skookum Brewery near the Arlington Airport. A short spur away from our loop into the North Cascades, we are taking the route listed as one of the 75 Classic Washington State rides.

    We plan casually deliberate, and will have a periodic regrouping at a couple of the small “towns” as there are several places to refuel and rewater along the route. It is my experience that for long, epic rides like this, company to chat with during the ride is much desired (just not 10,000 people that think that going for a 100 mile ride is life changing, and thus all have stern looks of concentration like they think a freeway overpass is the Fucking Stelvio.) Still, I expect the occasional double-pacelines to form, and we can hammer along a bit, but comraderie is best served on the road.

    We need an early start: V past 8am PDT, and the ride starts on time. Start/End: Skookum Brewery, (360) 652-4917.

    Route Directions are here.

    We may make a few detours to get supplies. The best roads are a little off the beaten commercial highways where there are stores, supplies. Note this is route is Grand Fondo distance – longer than a (Imperial) Century. As a loop, there is no turning back – you’re committed, so bring supplies and a plan. IOW: Epic.

    Casually Deliberate, but multiple groups may form. Take particular note of distances and opportunities for refuel/ rewater. This is not an urban ride. It is spectacularly scenic, and while it is long, it is not overly vertical, and therefore very doable for those us that are always Too Fat to Climb.

    VLVV -Eightzero.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - July 12, 2014
    8:05 AM - 9:00 PM

    Location
    Skookum Brewery

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification