Velominati › The Community
Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Cyclops

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Idaho Falls, ID

Social: Website

I really like riding road bikes as fast as possible. I live in Idaho Falls, ID which is a gateway city - meaning, if you are headed to Jackson Hole, Yellowstone, Sun Valley, etc chances are you'll be relatively close to my home - so here is a standing offer to anybody coming my way: Need a place to crash, need a steak grilled to perfection, need a beer you can't see through, need your wheels trued, need theological insight? I'll hook you up. Just get a hold of me.

@Cyclops's activity:

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the inter...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. I started “living the dream” again by working at a bike shop again.  I like that they carry Endura’s  clothing line but I loathe the number of YJAs hanging on the racks. »

ChrisO is back with another installment of Suffering in the Desert. Enjoy. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. That was a really awesome read, Chris.  Living the dream, indeed! »

I have no dog in this fight but @Henrik does. I can’t swim in the serious ‘stache growing gene pool. And yes, it’s already Vajanuary, we left Mo’vember with nary a nod, why, because it’s stupid. Rule #50 could have included having the last name Freuler and wearing the prison stripped Atala kit as the second exception...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. I had to decide – Obey the Rules or get laid more often?  My wife loves my goatee. »

2013 was The Year of the Anti-V. In every other year, the Velominati Cogclave to decide the V and The Anit-V awards is full of curses and thrown pint glasses, usually in defense of each of our chosen V-Moments. 2013 saw the same scene, except this time it was for us having too many competing Anti-V Moments and when it came time to discuss the V-Mom...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. @Frank That hits really close to home in the microcosm of cycling known as Eye-Duh-Ho.  I ride with myriads of riders that are far stronger than I.  Yet through an application of The V and Rule #5 when the elastic was a millisecond away from snapping I w… »

Forget quick-release skewer, the mechanical derailleur, carbon frames, or disc wheels. Never mind clipless pedals or brake-mounted shifters. Scratch those deep-section road wheels, lightweight helmets, or miracle fabrics.The most important innovation in Cycling had nothing to do with those incremental advances, but rather with the invention of Cycl...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. My mom kept telling me that if I kept doing what I was doing I would go blind.  Now I can’t wear “cool shades”. »

To each of you in our Community, we’d like to thank you for making Velominati a worthwhile place to visit and be a part of. Velominati, as most of you know, is a passion project that is borne of our nights and weekends, to be juggled between full time jobs, family, friends, and our first love – riding our bikes. And it is only because o...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. POOOOP!!!! Click here: http://www.jibjab.com/view/JCGvuC-LTVqOZ5NeVDZ8nQ?utm_campaign=URL+Copy&utm_content=thats_the_way_i_like_it&utm_medium=Share&utm_source=JibJab&cmpid=jj_url »

  2. Crap, that didn’t work. Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab! »

  3. Coppi New Year!!!! Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab! »

Up here in the Northern Hemisphere, this off-season is the time for rest and repair. The body and bikes need some extra refurbishment. It’s fun fixing up the bike; buying new bits in the bike shop is easy. It’s not as much fun fixing up the body.VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. @Mike_P Oh man, I can relate to this and the article as a whole.  After spending years with the nose to the grindstone and the arse to the trainer I guess this year was an “I need a break” year because my riding time was about half of the norm (if that)… »

Although he was already an active community member, I began my friendship with Dan Richter in early 2012 after he reached out to me regarding some wheels he wanted us to take along on Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012. At the time, he was an amateur wheel builder making some money on the side selling his wheels on eBay. Like many of us in this co...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. I hope Mr. Sinyard has enough class to reimburse Dan for all his legal fees. »

Assuming you ride somewhere outside the borders of Antarctica, you have likely already heard about the injustice being imposed on our friend and fellow Velominatus, Dan Richter who goes around these parts as @Dan_R.I’ve been riding Dan’s wheels for a bit over a year, and they are the best I’ve ever had. After hearing about the sui...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. I think the next Deacon Bikes model will be call the Epically Hard Stump Humper »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. »

Assuming you ride somewhere outside the borders of Antarctica, you have likely already heard about the injustice being imposed on our friend and fellow Velominatus, Dan Richter who goes around these parts as @Dan_R.I’ve been riding Dan’s wheels for a bit over a year, and they are the best I’ve ever had. After hearing about the sui...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. I guess I need to get a Café Roubaix jersey before they start going for $10k on ebay. »

  2. So I started working at a bike shop back in the late ’80s and we sold the usual, Trek, Specialized, etc.  When I found out that Specialized didn’t really “make” anything that it was all just subbed out and branded for them I thought “Well what the hell ki… »

While the shortest distance between two points is a straight line,  for us road cyclists it is usually not the fastest. @RobsMuir ponders this while riding and retains such complex thinking when done with his ride. That is an enviable skill in itself. VLVV, Gianni    Continue reading...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. @DCR There’s plenty around here.  There’s a 10k climb just on the edge of town and then if you want to ride or drive a little there lot’s more.  There’s the Teton Pass, Pine Creek Pass, the road up to Targhee ski resort, etc. Look me up if you ever come… »

  2. @Ron The awesome thing about Idaho Falls is that I live about five blocks from downttown and yet if I ride for about ten minutes from my front door in the other direction I’m out in the country with not too much traffic to deal with and yet what’s even… »

  3. “I was on TV!!” http://www.localnews8.com/news/cyclists-take-part-in-idaho-falls-firstever-cyclocross/-/308662/22893570/-/kumm9jz/-/index.html You can see my on my bike at the :29 mark and then you can see me (The fat ass in the all black Eagle Rock C… »

The first tire patch kit I ever owned came in a big green box, had several patches of various sizes which were possibly made of old truck tires. It also came with a sheet of 60 grit sandpaper. The mild high offered from sniffing the glue while applying the patch almost made you stop caring you’d gotten a flat in the first place. Stoned on glu...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. Meanwhile, behind the facade of this innocent looking bookstore… »

  2. The Park Super Patch also works awesome for fixing your shower curtain when rod loop thingy tears the hole out. »

The Velominati have our own set of nicknames and terms which have developed over time through posts and correspondence. Some of these are names of landmarks or terms in cycling; others are nicknames for some of the riders in the pro peloton. While not intended to be offensive or derogatory, the nicknames in the list represent the riders’ p...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. And another? “Starin’ at cassettes” – what one does whilst on the limit trying to keep from getting dropped on a climb. »

Merckx famously professed that after a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. He obviously meant this figuratively, not literally, because those mud guards on his bike aren’t going to take a big bite out of whatever that lorry has to offer him by way of a Flandrian facial.Winter is a tough time for those of use pawing about in search of...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. @RedRanger Where is “here”? »

My first bicycle opened a new world to me, one where range was measured by will and pedal revolutions, not steps; the only objective was seeing how far out I could push my range. First, to the border of our community, then to the nearest gas station, and on it went. It was a big yellow contraption with 10 speeds – twelve if you count “crash...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. Crap, I take a couple of days off of work (and the computer and I missed this.  Given the nomenclature of the frame I think its present role is perfect. »

Merckx famously professed that after a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. He obviously meant this figuratively, not literally, because those mud guards on his bike aren’t going to take a big bite out of whatever that lorry has to offer him by way of a Flandrian facial.Winter is a tough time for those of use pawing about in search of...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. @frank That is WAY funny. »

  2. All is lost. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Cyclops's posts:

  1. @Optimiste Cock Warmers? »