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Velominatus: Gianni

Order: Keeper of the Cog

Social: Website

Gianni bought a champagne gold Peugeot with sew-up tires in 1976. That was the beginning of the Troubles. Think Magnus Backstead without the big engine or rugged Swedish good looks. He has a small altar in his crawlspace containing smaller photos of Francesco Moser, Eros Poli and Gianni Bugno.

@Gianni's activity:

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @wiscot Yeah, that is about as squared away as a pro can look on a wet chilly climb. @Rob A back handed compliment is still a compliment. My head is much too huge to wear cycling caps unless under the helmet in shiet weather. One size fits all…… »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. I believe Frank is generalizing about all English from the interaction with one obnoxious English child. Fair enough, sweeping generalizations, that’s what we do here. I’ve actually spent a lot of time in England, drunk a shietload of excellent english a… »

  2. @Chris If you think you can trick me into starting that youtube video, little mister, think again. Dick van Dyke (sounds Belgian) singing some horrible musical number about sweeping chimneys, no, I won’t do it. I can’t do it. »

  3. I can’t tell what my Veloflex tubs sound like because whatever noise they may emit is drowned out by the sound of AWESOME that my 50mm carbon wheels make. I say gawd damn! …puts face down on table and snorts a massive line of pharmaceutical grade cocain… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. Though in my own mind I’m a little more Leonard Smalls. »

  2. @Rob Yeah, on a good day, that’s about right. »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. Wow, that was close. And funny. If in doubt, always go to new paragraph.    »

I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish thing to claim to be. What is true, however, is that Batman is pretty cool and it would probably be pretty cool to be a cool dude like Batman. It bears mentioning, however, that I have never been see...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @buck rogers is never going to read this. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @Giles Damn, that is fine as hell. I love the orange and white. And those wheels, beauty. »

  2. @campbellrae1 Sheeeit bro! You have just shown a top ten bike for this site. That is impressive and glad to hear the gruppo is going on. Keep posting as you build. »

I have a huge capacity for watching bike racing on TV. I’ll watch hours of it even when nothing is really happening. I’m certainly not bragging. So I’m quite certain I could sit in the cramped, possibly smokey, noisy, Gent velodrome and watch an evening of six-day racing. I bet the ratio of men to women (who actually want to be th...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @Juliana Brilliant all around. Glad to hear you are dragging your “man” out to give him a dose. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @Barracuda !?@$?!  Why am I not getting a free keg of this, FFS? OK, maybe a free pint. We will send Frank up to BC to drink their profit margin down. Rule #47 beer. »

I have a huge capacity for watching bike racing on TV. I’ll watch hours of it even when nothing is really happening. I’m certainly not bragging. So I’m quite certain I could sit in the cramped, possibly smokey, noisy, Gent velodrome and watch an evening of six-day racing. I bet the ratio of men to women (who actually want to be th...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @Chris Like cricket but with excitement! But yes, it is a test for the spectators, I actually would only be good for one session. Wasn’t that your idea of a Cogal with city bikes, pub to pub, each pub near a bike stand? It is still a genius idea and ne… »

  2. @Ccos Yep, that video is a bit lame. Better to be there in person. This is a better bit for getting the feel for a six day race. »

  3. @gilly Yeah, my tolerance for smokey places and for staying up until 2am have waned as I turn into an old bastard. Still, I’m more than ready to find out. Somehow, a six-day in Zurich or Copenhagen just doesn’t have the same cache as one in funky Gent. I… »

“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours” ― Charles BukowskiIt&#...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. You Dick! There goes my article about handle bar tape for Friday. That’s one of the better photos of Bukowski, a scary looking man. And yes, nothing like some quality time in a giant scanner looking deep inside your body to bring on long morose daydreams… »

Sharing the road with cars is mostly a losing proposition. It’s hard to share when your vehicle weighs 8 kgs and the other guy’s is 800 kgs. If we have to share we have to let go and that is not easy, as @Kevin Wilkins explains. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. When I was younger I was more likely to get into it with drivers. I will still flip drivers off if they piss me off but no more chasing them down for a confrontation. When Competitive Cyclists.com, the internet cycle store was based in Arkansas, the spoke… »

  2. @Buck Rogers You must like mine more, <200 words tops. who has the time, huh? »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @kixsand You have done well here. May the wife be understanding. This Cannondale continues to get huge reviews, and it looks wicked pissa. »

  2. @humansubmarine Socks worn over tights are wrong, in all conditions, as you have stated. This may not be explicitly covered by a Rule but common sense, civility, human decency and the respect of the suffering baby jesus would all be on your side. Not ev… »

  3. @chrismurphy92 Jeeeze, that is a sweet #2. With road tires I’d make it my Maui #1. Beauty. »

There is nothing more disappointing than discovering the truth behind a myth or spotting the mortal behind a legend. This is why I make a point never to do any research or in any other way attempt to validate my assumptions when evaluating a situation; mystery that feels like a fact and sounds like a fact is better than an actual fact. Tr...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. I think Hinault stands pretty tall when comparing his real persona and the myth built around him. He was very much in the Eddy (and Lance) mold in that he was going to win every race he entered. What could be the point of doing anything else. His drug was… »

April 2015 // Lille, France The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride. Continue...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


  2. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


I’m not sure where this ride falls on the graph of fitness but down towards the bottom, somewhere.There can be a point in every rider’s season where each ride ends the same. FFS, I suck. The unabridged volume of self-loathing is reviewed, cogent chapters reread, aloud, in the bathroom. I’m Too Fat To Climb is a chapter I like to q...

@Gianni's posts:

  1. @markb Awwwww jeeeze, pensioner sex. I guess I should be proud that this has taken a dark turn on my watch. Beyond that, I don’t know what to say right now.  »