Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Marko

Order: Keeper of the Cog

Social: Website

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term "Rainbow Turd".

@Marko's activity:

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @Tobin Well, at least he followed Rule #60. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @Rhodri AKA Nazi Sleds. »

  2. Swap Vanstandsaman for Stybar. Or should I go with a Norwegian. Fuck it, yup, EBH. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. Van Avermet 3. Vanmarcke 4. Boonen 5. Boss Hog »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @andrew I certainly didn’t need to see that ever. My god, if that is happening there should be no bike riding going on. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Marko's posts:

  1. Lot’s of vans. Who’s driving the van? Let’s jump in a van. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. Van Avermet 3. Vanmarcke 4. Boonen 5. Vanstandsaman »

I had always imagined that de Ronde van Vlaanderen must be hardest race in the world. The way I worked it out – having never ridden the course of either event at the time – was that de Ronde had the same cobbles as Roubaix, but with 20% grades thrown in. It makes enough sense so long as you don’t know what you’re talking abo...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @Pedale.Forchetta The photography Keeper has spoken. »

In honor of de Ronde van Vlaanderen, we will be hosting a Cogal in the urban Seattle area. Route to be determined, but plan on a moderately hilly opening 80km around Lake Washington and Mercer Island before hitting the historic cobbles on Captial Hill and Queen Anne near downtown Seattle. Total length of the ride is about 115km; but the last 30 are...

@Marko's posts:

  1. In honor of de Ronde van Vlaanderen, we will be hosting a Cogal in the urban Seattle area. Route to be determined, but plan on a moderately hilly opening 80km around Lake Washington and Mercer Island before hitting the historic cobbles on Captial Hill and Queen Anne near downtown Seattle. Total length of the ride is about 115km; but the last 30 are what really count.

    We’ll be leaving from Brouwer’s Café in Fremont at 10:05. No support vehicle is expected, but we’ll have lots of opportunity to refuel along the way. I will pre-ride the route a few days in advance and post GPX files and a queue sheet. The ride is intended to be no-drop, but due to the amount of climbing, we may break into separate groups before meeting back at Brouwer’s for post-ride Recovery Ales.

    Join us one and all to get a very minor taste what its like to ride de Ronde!

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 06, 2014
    10:05 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Brouwers

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Marko's posts:

  1. Tomeke has the team. VSP PICKS: 1. Tomeke 2. Degenkolb 3. Sagan 4. Faboo 5. Vanmarke »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @KW RedRanger should stick its head in here too. »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @asyax This is happening »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @sthilzy What do you need to have a gun there though? »

I just got turned back from a ride. 5k from the house I realized my bits were getting too cold not only for comfort (in which case, apply Rule #5 and move on) but safety (i’ll take my vasectomy in the hospital, thank you very much). It’s a lovely sunny day, the only problems being the minus 12C temp, biting headwind, and leg warmers th...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @ frank http://www.upworthy.com/a-dutch-guy-is-disgusted-by-america-but-he-has-a-hell-of-a-point?g=2&c=ufb2 @Endurimil  Like this? »

  2. @Teocalli One of those pedal bars overcooked a corner at the bottom of a hill last summer in Minneapolis and crashed hard. Couple people got hurt pretty badly. Hopefully they were drunk. »

  3. @frank Ellen Page rides Dutch bikes too? And if I could snag that kegger bike for the Heck this year, I would. For the team, I’d do it. @Endurimil Spot on about the camelbak, super pain in the ass. Last year because it was so cold I was able to wear a gi… »

  4. @Frank – that camelbak lesson was good last year. I too could have gotten by without based on the conditions. But the year before is was hot, dry, and sunny and two bidon and a full camelbak later I was coming in on fumes the last 10k or so. No fun. »

  5. @Ccos Perhaps another way to look at this is that some Rules just don’t apply given the circumstance of the terroir. Shorter, less marginal rides will find me totally Rule compliant on the gravel bike. Two small bidons, road shoes, and everything packed n… »

  6. @The Grande Fondue Initial reaction to the Cowbells is that they’re headed in the direction of a Reverence article this fall. More data needed but so far so good. These are 46′s! Yikes. They’re so wide. But they feel nice, open up my chest for breathing, … »

  7. @Zevo The moose mile was a stretch of bouldery, muddy, rutted single track. Basically a BWCAW portage that was overgrown. In 2012, I rode half of it if I was lucky. MTB terrain for sure but the only stretch that really required one. Look for us this year… »

  8. @Endurimil You’re living in the snow globe that that douche keeps shaking too, eh? We’re a good month out still. »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@Marko's posts:

  1. Stybar out, Sagan in. VSP PICKS: 1. Boonen 2. Van Avermeat 3. Sagan 4. Degenkolb 5. Van Marcke »

I just got turned back from a ride. 5k from the house I realized my bits were getting too cold not only for comfort (in which case, apply Rule #5 and move on) but safety (i’ll take my vasectomy in the hospital, thank you very much). It’s a lovely sunny day, the only problems being the minus 12C temp, biting headwind, and leg warmers th...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @Zevo The Moose Mile was out last year. Think it’ll be in this year? »

  2. @Gianni I’ve seen a lot of animals on rides. Wolves, bears, moose, deer. The only time I ever really got goose bumps was seeing the cougar. I imagine a skinny guy moving quickly would look like a big cat toy. No thanks. Btw, the espresso love GU shots are… »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@Marko's posts:

  1. @The Grande Fondue I’ve got one as well. I find your speculation unlikely as they were all on different models. »

  2. @The Grande Fondue I hadn’t picked up on the Van Marcke Schleckanical. That sucked but makes my pic of him for this week all the better. »

  3. @RVester Aint it grand? Such a fantastic place. I like for the reasons you and Frank mention. I also like it because it’s forested and feels like when you get to the top there’s shit to do and check out up there. And the descent, the descent is the best o… »