Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Steampunk

Order: Gray Order Velominatus

Location: Dundas, ON

Social: Website /

In never-ending search for la volupté, Steampunk is an unreconstructed Canadian west coaster transplanted to Ontario, where he rides on every opportunity and sometimes shows up to work as a professor of history. He is a careful student of the Rules and la vie Velominatus, but is not beyond (occasionally) distilling them down to a single path: la vie Cognoscentus. The BFGs are always locked and loaded (that sound you just heard was your soul being crushed by their power). On a more serious note, he is a staunch advocate of commuting by bike and he also fundraises for Bikes to Rwanda.

@Steampunk's activity:

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Rob I postponed the meeting so I could get out for a short morning ride. Life will roll on. Weight is good; fitness will come… »

The Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the race in question by the time the countdown clock goes to zero...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Nate Belatedly: yes. »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Rob And don’t forget the Tripels. Sun is shining, but we’re still in bitterly chilly single-digits. I’ve been out, fighting a lot of potholes and lots of enduring grit and grime on the sides of the roads. It’s been a slow and late start to the season,… »

  2. @Buck Rogers He didn’t look 2011-ish, but he still looked pretty damn impressive as he took off. It’s hard to bet against that… »

  3. @xyxax I haven’t heard of any of these guys (and I didn’t get the first joke). »

  4. @Buck Rogers Bold. Unconscionable. But bold. He went well midweek. I guess the peloton needs the love child of Paracelsus and Methuselah to make it whole… »

  5. VSP PICKS: 1. P. Gilbert 2. A. Valverde 3. D. Ulissi 4. B. Mollema 5. W. Poels »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Gianni You talked me out of picking Thor. When he bridged to Boonen’s group, I figured it had to be the winning move. »

  2. @scaler911  3/5 and only Stybar in the right spot (which doesn’t really mean much). In actual fact, I would probably have enjoyed the race a lot more without the VSP. Watching my picks go poof was a little disappointing, but that was an absolutely terrifi… »

  3. @Ron  Yep: if there was any doubt, I think we can put the bash on Wiggo stuff behind us. That was a very impressive ride from him. Big respect. And good to see Thor get one last kick at the can in. »

  4. @Gianni Love it! Wasn’t his explanation of the Ronde a few years ago: “Easy up and faster?” Give him Lance’s glare, and no one else would even bother to show up at the start… »

  5. @boudewijn Under the circumstances, it’s probably wise not to include him among your picks… »

  6. Going with Tommeke 2.0 for the long shot. I like this kid. And picking the obligatory Frenchman, which means it won’t be Gaudin, but will be another one… VSP PICKS: 1. F. Cancellara 2. S. Vanmarcke 3. G. Van Keirsbulck 4. D. Gaudin 5. Z. Stybar »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers 5/5, but only third and fifth in the right spots… »

  2. 1. Van Dijk 2. Armitstead 3. Johansson »

  3. VSP PICKS: 1. E. Longo Borghini 2. E. Van Dijk 3. E. Johansson 4. E. Armitstead 5. A. van Vleuten »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Not that I’m ever any good at this, but there are simply too many mainstream candidates to even start this. I’m salivating already for Sunday… VSP PICKS: 1. F. Cancellara 2. P. Sagan 3. T. Boonen 4. S. Vanmarcke 5. G. Thomas »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. This is the coolest thing on the internet today: »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Barracuda With his reputation, I’m sure Cipo has lots of “relatives” all over the world. »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Gianni Well, let’s get serious for a moment. Thor may be a has-been. But Goss and Farrar never were. For a time, Thor was a dominant force. It’s a shame that the decline has been so swift. But 9th in this field is nothing to sniff at. Could be he’s on… »

  2. @Duende By a whisker? Of course, some whiskers are greater than others… »

  3. @LA Dave A Thor sighting? Well, that’s bound to wreak havoc with my P-R picks. Either I’m going to think he’s finally got this and he’ll roll in 57th about seven minutes back, or I’ll ignore him and he’ll finally win the damn thing. There’s no justice… »

  4. I like this Demare kid. He needs to get his timing dialled in, but he’s got a helluva kick. »

This is the kick off of the VSP for women’s racing, though the women have already kicked it off with the Ronde van Drenthe in the Netherlands. Now it’s down to Northern Italy, Varese, by Lago Maggiore, but this is a climbers course, more in the mountains than by the lake. And yes, Sunday is also Gent-Wevelgem for women but Trofeo is par...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. 1. Emma Johansson 2, Lizzy Armitstead 3. Alena Amialiusik 4. Anna van der Breggen 5. Ferrand Prevot 6. Elisa Longo Borghini (I mention number 6, since I had her winning…). »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Degenkolb’s the fastest man left? Quiz time: last moustachioed winner of a spring race? »