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Velominatus: Steampunk

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Dundas, ON

Social: Website /

In never-ending search for la volupté, Steampunk is an unreconstructed Canadian west coaster transplanted to Ontario, where he rides on every opportunity and sometimes shows up to work as a professor of history. He is a careful student of the Rules and la vie Velominatus, but is not beyond (occasionally) distilling them down to a single path: la vie Cognoscentus. The BFGs are always locked and loaded (that sound you just heard was your soul being crushed by their power). On a more serious note, he is a staunch advocate of commuting by bike and he also fundraises for Bikes to Rwanda.

@Steampunk's activity:

You can only spend so much time with the Schlecks before you start talking like them, and the fabulous Fabs seems to have crossed the threshold. I’ve heard more complaining from him this season than I have talk about pushing harder on the pedals or going steady up with more speed or going full gas like everyone else, but just doing it for ...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Minnesota Expat Now that you mention it, I’ve never liked Gerrans. His smile, perhaps? »

  2. @frank I know where you’re coming from. I’m playing Devil’s advocate a bit here. I should like him, but when he breaks away I always feel a little disappointed. Too short, too Eastern European, too something. Or not enough of something else. Can anyone p… »

  3. @il muro di manayunk Nice! Monk’s: yes! It’s an anticipated pit stop whenever I’m passing through. None to regularly, much to my regret. Loved Philly. »

  4. @frank Wow. So he’s effervescent. So now we don’t like Pantani either, because he, y’know, probably doped, too? One of the things I always liked about this site was how it didn’t get into the mudslinging, and simply acknowledged panache when it was warra… »

  5. @frank By uninspiring, do you mean a guy who isn’t Dutch? The kid has surprised everyone with his tenacity–in a very short period of time, he’s found his way into the key selections of many of the most important races. And largely on his own initiative…. »

  6. @il muro di manayunk Yes: I suppose there are half a dozen of us just sitting in and watching at this point. Fair enough. I’ve pretty much conceded that you’re too far ahead to catch—but I’d rest easier with a bit more distance between myself and the fol… »

  7. @Rob This is the funniest thing on the interwebs today! That’s a fuckton of plastic! And I am a cheap tent. If I hadn’t folded, I would have put Gerrans in second. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Next time, when you’re out in front, do what Kwiatkowski did: ju… »

  8. @xyxax I was thinking the same thing. My heart leapt when I saw Gilbert take off after Kwiatkowski, and then sank when I saw van Avermaet in tow. There was a time that he would have made that kind of decisive move and everybody else would have just sat … »

  9. See?? See what this has come to? My head, my heart, my soul all say Spartacus has been preparing for this all year, and you don’t get between this man and destiny. But the peloton eyeing my VSP podium spot all goes with Gerrans. So to play it safe, I foll… »

This is big. This is the race that decides the arc-en-ciel  jersey for the next year. It is the best looking jersey. It carries the most baggage. It also brings the most respect. The World Championship is a circuit race of attrition. In Ponferrada Spain it’s an 182 km loop done seven times, with a total of 2142 m of climbing. Is it a climber...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. M. Vos 2. E. Johansson 3. E. Armitstead 4. P. Ferrand-Prevot 5. R. Ratto »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. M. Vos 2. E. Johansson 3. R. Ratto 4. P. Ferrand-Prevot 5. E. Armitstead »

If Tony gets a flat or two and loses this time trial, bookies will be jumping off bridges into the Thames. It’s a lock, man, it’s a lock. There, it is now jinxed. You are welcome. Picking second through fifth will take some acumen. Will these be Vuelta riders or does that just hold true for the road race? Tony could have a jour sans. Co...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Gianni Damn: is that the Gianni kiss of death for Spartacus’s chances? I suspect he’ll show up this week looking leaner than we’re used to seeing him. There’s little question: when he sets his mind to an objective, he realizes it. That singularity of fo… »

All hail, the Worlds are upon us. The time trials should be events where all VSP participants can rack up some decent points. Remove team tactics, national team versus trade team allegiances, using this event to train for another event, bonking and hanging onto team cars from the equation. All one is left with are possible flat tire, possible mecha...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Gianni What? “I feel like I’m 10,000 years old, I’ve got 17 senses, and I’m standing ankle-deep in the Atlantic!” »

If Tony gets a flat or two and loses this time trial, bookies will be jumping off bridges into the Thames. It’s a lock, man, it’s a lock. There, it is now jinxed. You are welcome. Picking second through fifth will take some acumen. Will these be Vuelta riders or does that just hold true for the road race? Tony could have a jour sans. Co...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @the Engine Wheelsucker »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. T. Martin 2. B. Wiggins 3. T. Dumoulin 4. A. Malori 5. T. Van Garderen »

All hail, the Worlds are upon us. The time trials should be events where all VSP participants can rack up some decent points. Remove team tactics, national team versus trade team allegiances, using this event to train for another event, bonking and hanging onto team cars from the equation. All one is left with are possible flat tire, possible mecha...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. E. Van Dijk 2. L. Villumsen 3. E. Stevens 4. H. Solovey 5. L. Brennauer »

Did everyone got tired of seeing a nearly naked Marcel Kittel on the massage table for the Tour’s VSP page? I know I didn’t. Young Kennaugh will be sporting his British road race jersey and his proper shoe/sock pairing in this Vuelta. Get used to it. Ladies and gentleman we have a race. We have some Giro winners, we have some Tour...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Rob & @ChrisO: That modern racing thing. Contador is adept at whittling the field of GC contenders down to one. He’d prefer to clinically break down a single rider—reduce the risk. Most of his GT wins have involved eliminating contenders one at a ti… »

  2. @ChrisO It’s been an abominable season for Sky in general, and if the ITT had been flatter… All I meant was that in comparison with their next encounter, the advantage will rest solidly with whoever gets out in front first. Last year’s Tour showed wha… »

  3. @piwakawaka I suspect the game would be quite different if Froome was ahead on the GC, which could have been quite likely if they’d had an early ITT. Contador is milking his advantage—there’s no question—and he looks terrific, but would he have the same … »

  4. Fabio Aru’s face in today’s sprint to the line: Kid sure looks like a bike racer. »

  5. VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps): 1. A. Contador 2. C. Froome 3. R. Uran 4. J. Rodriguez 5. W. Kelderman »

  6. VSP PICKS: 1. N. Quintana 2. C. Froome 3. R. Uran 4. J. Rodriguez 5. W. Kelderman »

Jens Voigt is set to retire as we speak, having one final crack at a long break in some race in the Cycling backwater of the USA. Is it fair or fitting that he should go out like this, slipping out the back door with little fanfare, while others have been doing a farewell tour of all the big races, replete with fancy commemorative shoes and a son...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Jens’s great gift was his affability and his capacity for maintaining a crazy optimism that made him seem more of a weekend warrior (just like us!) than a jaded veteran. His career was one infused with even doses of panache and loyalty. »

Did everyone got tired of seeing a nearly naked Marcel Kittel on the massage table for the Tour’s VSP page? I know I didn’t. Young Kennaugh will be sporting his British road race jersey and his proper shoe/sock pairing in this Vuelta. Get used to it. Ladies and gentleman we have a race. We have some Giro winners, we have some Tour...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @il muro di manayunk The smart money says to sit on your wheel and copy picks. But my francophilia means I need to fail beautifully. Hence: VSP PICKS: 1. N. Quintana 2. C. Froome 3. J. Rodriguez 4. R. Uran 5. W. Kelderman »

  2. @the Engine So he comes third? Why, that’s not good, that’s legendary! »