Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Teocalli

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: UK

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Married with no kids (out of choice), Cyclist (obviously!) social and sportives on and off road, Adaptive Ski Instructor. Home Base Surrey UK and also Crested Butte Colorado (Winters with Adaptive Sports Centre). Previously spent many years Offshore Yacht Racing. The boring bit is in IT / Telecomms - got to pay for the above somehow!

@Teocalli's activity:

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. rodriquez 2. nibali 3. stybar 4. van avermaet 5. Thomas »

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @andrew It rapidly starts to lean towards the law of diminishing returns….. »

  2. @andrew Perchance are you talking about a string vest? »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. nibali 2. ten dam 3. stybar 4. van avermaet 5. Thomas »

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @sthilzy   +1 »

  2. @sthilzy hmmm – somehow it looked better on Cippo……..but even then I’m not convinced about it. https://www.flickr.com/photos/darkchocula/3570444466/in/photostream/ »

  3. @ChrisO I mean, don’t they know that none of us go out on a ride of under 9 hrs? »

  4. Talking of smart (of a certain era) and the correct V colour? http://society6.com/SlackersPeloton/Clockwork-Peloton_Mug#27=199 »

  5. Not specifically cycling but more relating to the horrors you see in public my VMH has a saying that we both mutter now “Have you no mirrors in your house?” »

It’s no secret that I’m prone to riding in the big ring as much as possible, mostly on account of my not being a giant sissy. In accordance with the ISO Non-Sissy Standard, I also never read instruction manuals or ask for directions when lost. I make sure to only rarely ask my VMH to turn up the radio when Adele comes on, usually follo...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka I had a picture of him unpacking an EPMS on the go and pulling out lube and rags and giving the bike a quick lube and shine to while away the climb……… »

  2. @piwakawaka Impressive! »

  3. @frank Re point 1 – I’m not too shabby as I also still ride the dark side and trash a reasonable percentage of folk 10-20-30-40 years younger than me, uphill, downhill and singletrack. Re point 2 – I think we are saying the same thing – on both counts! »

  4. @frank Maybe it’s a proportion thing and being a shortarse otherwise known as somewhat vertically challenged, I hit some limit to be able to accommodate earlier.  However, what I found with a longer stem is that with what is as my natural standing posi… »

  5. @Ccos Which could account for having to stand and mash a big ring? »

  6. @unversio Glad to be of service…………….or not, as the case may be! »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @jordan   see just about any photo of Pantani particularly in the Bianchi years. »

It’s no secret that I’m prone to riding in the big ring as much as possible, mostly on account of my not being a giant sissy. In accordance with the ISO Non-Sissy Standard, I also never read instruction manuals or ask for directions when lost. I make sure to only rarely ask my VMH to turn up the radio when Adele comes on, usually follo...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @The Grande Fondue Isn’t all this length stuff missing one fundamental point in setup (unless perhaps you are on a track bike).  Our setup is our setup given an anatomical position for our given Leg/body/arm length combination suitable for extended per… »

  2. @unversio I think your analogy is flawed.  Sprint starting is about falling over without actually falling over so to get maximum “fall over bucks” aligned with maximum “fall over prevention” both being in the direction of travel then you need the centre… »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. Good grief – I got on the podium. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @wiscot   Yeah that first warm ride of Spring feels sooo good, especially after the winter you guys have had temp wise.  We just got oceans of rain, and gales. »

  2. A nice Birthday with 90 Km on The Butler with a good mate and now a suitable recovery drink for the evening……and generous prezzie from my mate too.  Kinda cool to ride my 13th Birthday present on my Birthday cough cough years later. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. From Velo News………. Chris Horner suffered a punctured lung, broken ribs, and other injuries in an apparent car/bike collision while training Friday near Lake Como in Italy. “The details of the accident are still to be evaluated, however it seems th… »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. van avermaet 2. Degenkolb 3. cancellara 4. Thomas 5. vansummeren »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @Chris   I suspect it’s just Pass / Fail  - no trading or majority vote allowed. »

The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinnin...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @frank I have a local hill loop on a surfaced path that I use when I don’t have time for a decent ride.  I rep 1 Km of it alternating between standing and mashing and seated and spinning then for the final loop I go down to the bottom if the road it li… »