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Velominatus: Teocalli

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: UK

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Married with no kids (out of choice), Cyclist (obviously!) social and sportives on and off road, Adaptive Ski Instructor. Home Base Surrey UK and also Crested Butte Colorado (Winters with Adaptive Sports Centre). Previously spent many years Offshore Yacht Racing. The boring bit is in IT / Telecomms - got to pay for the above somehow!

@Teocalli's activity:

Jens Voigt is set to retire as we speak, having one final crack at a long break in some race in the Cycling backwater of the USA. Is it fair or fitting that he should go out like this, slipping out the back door with little fanfare, while others have been doing a farewell tour of all the big races, replete with fancy commemorative shoes and a son...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. Jens’ record didn’t last long 51.8something to Mathaus Brandle »

There is nothing more disappointing than discovering the truth behind a myth or spotting the mortal behind a legend. This is why I make a point never to do any research or in any other way attempt to validate my assumptions when evaluating a situation; mystery that feels like a fact and sounds like a fact is better than an actual fact. Tr...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @therealpeel Sounds about normal for a thread around here? »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @brett Some years ago I was coming to the end of a ride with a mate and we had ridden down to Brighton (UK) to meet up with the VMWs.  As we came into Brighton we noticed some signs “Bike Event ->” and when we pulled up at a set of lights were sudden… »

  2. Brill.  Lucky I wasn’t drinking my coffee. I do have a route with a jolly decent coffee and cake stop run by some charming elderly ladies.  Good coffee and fabulous cakes and very cyclist friendly.  However, when you place your order at the counter they … »

There is nothing more disappointing than discovering the truth behind a myth or spotting the mortal behind a legend. This is why I make a point never to do any research or in any other way attempt to validate my assumptions when evaluating a situation; mystery that feels like a fact and sounds like a fact is better than an actual fact. Tr...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @frank Yup – I go for a waterproof(ish) gilet and good arm warmers.  So my core can stay reasonably dry and warm as the arm holes allow plenty of ventilation and the arm warmers act a bit like a wetsuit. »

  2. @frank The thing about breathable waterproof (water resistant) fabric is that when it rains they stop breathing as the water on the outside blocks all the pores.  So you get just about as wet inside from sweat as a non breathable one.  Also when it is … »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @kixsand   kerr-ching! @chrismurphy92  sweet »

  2. @Haldy I did spot the FMB tubs – no wonder the rest of the bike is pending! »

  3. @Haldy Shouldn’t both valves be correctly aligned in preparation? »

There is nothing more disappointing than discovering the truth behind a myth or spotting the mortal behind a legend. This is why I make a point never to do any research or in any other way attempt to validate my assumptions when evaluating a situation; mystery that feels like a fact and sounds like a fact is better than an actual fact. Tr...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @BatDan Yeah it did cross my mind that the simple expedient of some holes in the seat and the padding would have made quite a difference. »

  2. Watching a TV programme at the weekend in the UK Guy Martin – Speed on C4.  Worth a watch in C4 Player if you missed it in the UK.  Anyway he came up with a name G P Mills and here which is worth looking up.  Not sure anyone would get away with his soluti… »

To keep chickens is to walk a path towards introspection. From the songs they sing after laying an egg (which I assume is “chicken” for “I’m Every Woman“) to the sheer glee they show when they find a worm in the mud, chickens provide a perfect example of living life in and for the moment. The most interesting aspect o...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @Ron You can’t help getting old but you can stay immature for ever.  Works for me. »

April 2015 // Lille, France The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride. Continue...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


I’m not sure where this ride falls on the graph of fitness but down towards the bottom, somewhere.There can be a point in every rider’s season where each ride ends the same. FFS, I suck. The unabridged volume of self-loathing is reviewed, cogent chapters reread, aloud, in the bathroom. I’m Too Fat To Climb is a chapter I like to q...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @markb   Careful who you call youngster around here! »

To keep chickens is to walk a path towards introspection. From the songs they sing after laying an egg (which I assume is “chicken” for “I’m Every Woman“) to the sheer glee they show when they find a worm in the mud, chickens provide a perfect example of living life in and for the moment. The most interesting aspect o...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @LeoTea This is usually your browser caching and not the site.  Hence a refresh clears it. »

A great unknown awaits the young men, bound by a common entity of steel, flesh and passion rolled together. Do they contemplate the future, or are they so encapsulated in the here and now that anything beyond the finish line seems like it could only be for old people? Have they any inkling which path they will take, or be guided towards? Maybe...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @brett My point exactly?  Damn I nearly added some punctuation there. »

  2. @Buck Rogers Come on guys (and gals) if it wasn’t for @Bret ranting about the length of posts (and lack of pictures) and @Buck Rogers just ranting this place would be lacking a certain je ne sais pas. »

  3. @wiscot An amusing one of these I experienced last summer was a guy probably half my age in a sportive with TT bars, aero-helmet and polka dot jersey.  He must also have been doing the short route as I passed him twice, ironically both times going uphil… »

April 2015 // Lille, France The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride. Continue...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


I’ve lost a lot of things that were, at some point or another, dear to me. At times, I’ve even cast them away deliberately, either because of a nurtured indifference or an irrational or impulsive dislike. Regret is an easy emotion to find in reflection, it lays right at the surface and provides us with a quick answer without requiring...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @frank One of life’s work lessons is “If you really enjoy your work the pay is probably crap, if you hate your job the pay is probably pretty good”………Now let me think, between working in IT and the seasons I spent teaching skiing…….. »

I love wine. I mean, I like beer and scotch and can’t resist ordering a Vesper whenever I pretend to be a gentleman spy, but I love wine. As a semi-professional drinker, the biggest worry I have is that should my as-yet undiagnosed problem with alcohol become a diagnosed problem with alcohol, I’d have to stop drinking wine. A full...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @frank @markb I am told by the coaches who work at Herne Hill Velodrome that the worst time for crashes on the track is on a Tuesday evening when they have road bike training – it’s the use of brakes that inevitably cause impacts. So I intend to submit … »

April 2015 // Lille, France The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride. Continue...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


I love wine. I mean, I like beer and scotch and can’t resist ordering a Vesper whenever I pretend to be a gentleman spy, but I love wine. As a semi-professional drinker, the biggest worry I have is that should my as-yet undiagnosed problem with alcohol become a diagnosed problem with alcohol, I’d have to stop drinking wine. A full...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @Chris Eyesight and route planning and the look where you want to go bit? »

Life is full of surprises. Some you don’t want, like a funnel web in a shoe, while others are completely unexpected but more than welcome, even if you are then left with figuring out the hows, whys and HOW?s of the serendipitous conundrum now presented to you.This is how I now feel, after fate knocked at my door via a source that doesn’...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. @Jaegher Nice to see you here!  Much appreciated. »

I love wine. I mean, I like beer and scotch and can’t resist ordering a Vesper whenever I pretend to be a gentleman spy, but I love wine. As a semi-professional drinker, the biggest worry I have is that should my as-yet undiagnosed problem with alcohol become a diagnosed problem with alcohol, I’d have to stop drinking wine. A full...

@Teocalli's posts:

  1. When I watch someone seriously talented on a bike like Danny MacAskskill I can’t help thinking “I wonder how many visits to A&E it takes to get that good” »