Velominati Super Prestige:
Giro D'Italia 2013
Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: The Pressure

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Rabid recreational rider, dedicated Velominatus,and stanch upholder of The Rules. Enjoys serving up healthy helpings of V!

@The Pressure's activity:

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. FRAME-BONER!!! »

La Vie Velominatus: Lean Properly

There are always at least two ways to accomplish any task: properly and improperly. Drinking beer from a glass, not the bottle; carrying a full umbrella instead of a miniature fold-up; stirring your gin martinis, not shaking them; wearing french cuffs with a suit, not button cuffs. The Velominatus, of course, is drawn towards doing things Properly,...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Which bike in the title photo has twice the legal dosage of seat post?? »

The Gear

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. A suggestion;  a possible addition to the symbol pack: “Sur la Plaque! (Fucktards)” »

Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Seriously?  Those ‘fans’ were insane!  Spartacus should have squashed them like he squashed the rest of the field.  What a display of power.  Otherworldly!  Vanmarcke has nothing to be ashamed of »

  2. Frank that was great.  Give ‘er hell!  Chase then pull over and puke!!  you are so lucky to experience that.  Enjoy! »

Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde van Vlaanderen 2013

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag (filled with V-Kit, shoes, helmet, everything) is. The other thing that h...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers At least he grabbed ass and not dope!! »

Look Pro: Éclatant de Panache

The Prophet was very clear on how best to ride an individual Time Trial; start as fast as possible and finish as fast as possible. As for the middle, his advice was to ride that as fast as possible.The same can be said of climbing; as we covered in Part I and Part II of the Sur La Plaque series, the key to climbing well is to hit the bottom as ha...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Chris Fantastic!!  Why did he even bother with a saddle?  The expressions of the leaders when caught were all the same…WTF??? »

Passista

My first article on Velominati was to introduce one of my favorite cyclists, Eros Poli. I refered to him as a domestique on the Mercatone-Uno team. This faux pas was properly pointed out much later by @KaffeineKeiser, a commenter who suddenly surfaced and unfortunately submerged just as quickly, like Das Boot in the Straits of Gibraltar.*I do tak...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Gianni That you are.  Bauer is first class in a humble package.  And when prompted, a wealth of valuable cycle knowledge.  With the list of dopers growing by the minute, Steve’s name is conspicuous by its absence.  He was the ‘real deal’ and who knows ho… »

Riding Ugly: Fernando Escartin

Sometimes, getting the job done means doing it by any means necessary. Football coaches, who have just seen their team scrape out a win by a dour defensive effort and a lucky goal, refer to it as “winning ugly”. But any true Velominatus would rather lose photogenically than win ugly. In fact, our credo could well be “it’s no...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Maybe not so ‘ugly’.  Check out recent Tour of Oman Stage 3.  Some beautiful footage as I sit here in snow!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flys5ZiynLE »

Training: The Fourth Bridge

Before the New Year, it was my ride up Haleakala. At present, it’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2013. Before Haleakala, it was one of the various Cyclocross races and before that the Zoo Hill Time Trial. The targets change, but throughout my life as a Velominatus, there always seems to be a goal looming over the horizon which spurs me on. T...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Steampunk Frank…How small is that guy??? Or are you still wearing your ‘Fat Bastard’ suit? »

  2. @Steampunk Frank…how small is that guy?  Or are you still wearing your ‘Fat Bastard’ suit? »

Anatomy of a Photo: Campagnolo Candy Van

Every night I pray to Merckx that in the morning when I wake up I’ll have a Campagnolo Free Candy Van with a Super Dome.And every morning, its a fresh disappointment that it didn’t come true. Continue reading...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @TBONE Why do you keep bringing back Cheech Marin??? »

Guest Article: Urs Freuler- The Ultimate Cyclo-tash

Somehow Movember and Vajanuary have slipped out of our grasp without too much fanfare. It’s never too late to pay homage to a ‘stash and a rider such as Urs Freuler. Our trusty cycling historian @wiscot has once again stepped up and delivered, many thanks. Yours in Cycling, Gianni…...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @xyxax Flavour-saver?? »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @sthilzy Who is this multiple rule violator?  Johnny Fever from ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’? »

To Carbone or Not To Carbone?

That is the question. Are carbon wheels a viable option for everyday riding? Should carbon wheels be your go-to wheels rather than your just-for-racing wheels? I don’t really race and I don’t own any carbon wheels and I wonder. Granted, every professional is and has been on carbon wheels for many years so it’s easy to think we sho...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Skip Great article. A must read. http://redkiteprayer.com/2011/12/thoughts-on-training-equipment/  I must admit I don’t do Carbone.  They’re noisy, potentially high maintenance, and I guess I’m in the minority here, I don’t like the look of deep section…. »

On Rule #64: The Sudden Drop

The severity of a crash exists on two planes, the physical and psychological. The physical is the most obvious and one we busy ourselves with in the immediate vicinity of coming down. Our bodies need time to heal, our kits may need replacing or mending, and our bicycles may need repair work. For weeks and sometimes months, we may carry with us t...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @frank Van driver’s first words, “Where did you come from? (He had just past the two of us).”  Then, ” Look at the damage to my van!”  As my riding buddy proceeded to rip into the douchetard, all I wanted to do was ride home.  Shaken, but almost un mar… »

  2. And apologies for Rule #81 liberties…but since the van lost, Rule #5 was applied! »

  3. @Ron Last summer whilst laying down some serious V, my wheel-sucking mate yelled, “He’s turning!”  As the road ahead in both directions was clear I was puzzled…until an overtaking van appeared and proceeded to cut into a parking lot in front of me!  I… »

La Vie Velominatus: Building Wheels

Self-awareness is a non-optional ingredient of leading a fulfilling life; while we should always push ourselves to explore new things, we should also be aware of our limitations and weigh expectations against them. This is why I avoid any activities involving intelligence or a blow torch, and take particular care to avoid those involving an inter...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Oli Hey,Mate.  Where have you been?  Have missed your learned comments amidst these Trekkies. »

Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Trois

At some point, I reckon the idea may dawn on me that I’m not a climber. Eighty kilos and standing something just shy of two meters, I’m not clear on why climbing is what speaks to me most about Cycling; I’m certainly not built like a grimpeur. But there is no question about it; I love riding in the mountains. I only have to catch...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Great job, Frank. Good thing there were lots of plush chunks of “magma” to rest on at the top!! »

Merckxy Christmas, and a Coppi New Year

It has been a crazy year, this, with our first annual Keepers Tour sorted, partnerships with the industry’s leading icons including Johan Museeuw, Pavé Cycling Classics, DeFeet, fi'zi:k, and Lezyne – and a book deal to boot (deadline looming large on January 1st). We couldn’t have asked for a better year, and would like to remind...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Merry Christmas to Frank, the Keepers and the rest of The V-community.  Here’s to a resplendent New Year! »

Velominati Photo Contest: Season 2012

Truth be told, how many of us can resist a photo of ourselves Looking Fantastic on the bike? How many of us can resist the temptation of taking our eyes off the road and stealing a glimpse of ourselves in a shop window as we pass by? Not me, but then again a strong case could be made for my being a narcissist and I freely admit that I love looking...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Nude Grand Fondo Toronto, Ontario.  I told you we don’t wear loin-cloth anymore! »

Strack to Lead New V-Studies Initiative at McMaster University

La Vie Velominatus is set to become the subject of intense scholarly analysis next week, as Frank Strack will receive an honorary PhV from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario (chapeau to @ten B for the PhV). It’s been a heady week for the cycling types around these parts; Strack will close out festivities that included the Bike Snob and Mari...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Steampunk Probably his Speedo was ratcheted on too tight… »

Guest Article: What The Bike Means to Me

It is less than a week from the longest night of the year for us lucky cyclists in the Northern hemisphere. Articles about lighting systems and losing form are what we cough up. @Strathlubnaig has even shorter days than most of us, works at sea, gets out on the bike and writes about it. Rule #9 or not, when is it ever a bad idea to ride a bike? V...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @strathlubnaig Can’t name it but what a bonnie ‘gap’!! »

Strack to Lead New V-Studies Initiative at McMaster University

La Vie Velominatus is set to become the subject of intense scholarly analysis next week, as Frank Strack will receive an honorary PhV from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario (chapeau to @ten B for the PhV). It’s been a heady week for the cycling types around these parts; Strack will close out festivities that included the Bike Snob and Mari...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Steampunk Steamy.  I’m still kicking myself for missing Frank’s visit. But come on!  Yeti shoes?  Although your attempts at looking Casually Deliberate are admirable, the world already thinks we are running around wearing loin cloth and chucking spears… »

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