Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: The Pressure

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Rabid recreational rider, dedicated Velominatus,and stanch upholder of The Rules. Enjoys serving up healthy helpings of V!

@The Pressure's activity:

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Or is it Hear, Hear? »

  2. @unversio Here. here. Pipe down and let the guns do the talking. »

  3. @ChrisO I can’t help but think this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.  @scmtns has been told…enough.  This is supposed to be a community and your posts are leaning towards duplicating @scmtns self-aggrandizement.  Let it go »

The Way of the Cycling Disciple: Publication & e-Book Sampler

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Will there be an appendix regarding self-serving drivel?? »

  2. COTHO just tweeted: “I’m not going to lie to you, I can’t wait to get a copy of ‘The Rules’! ” »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. FRAME-BONER!!! »

La Vie Velominatus: Lean Properly

There are always at least two ways to accomplish any task: properly and improperly. Drinking beer from a glass, not the bottle; carrying a full umbrella instead of a miniature fold-up; stirring your gin martinis, not shaking them; wearing french cuffs with a suit, not button cuffs. The Velominatus, of course, is drawn towards doing things Properly,...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Which bike in the title photo has twice the legal dosage of seat post?? »

The Gear

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. A suggestion;  a possible addition to the symbol pack: “Sur la Plaque! (Fucktards)” »

Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Seriously?  Those ‘fans’ were insane!  Spartacus should have squashed them like he squashed the rest of the field.  What a display of power.  Otherworldly!  Vanmarcke has nothing to be ashamed of »

  2. Frank that was great.  Give ‘er hell!  Chase then pull over and puke!!  you are so lucky to experience that.  Enjoy! »

Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde van Vlaanderen 2013

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag (filled with V-Kit, shoes, helmet, everything) is. The other thing that h...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers At least he grabbed ass and not dope!! »

Look Pro: Éclatant de Panache

The Prophet was very clear on how best to ride an individual Time Trial; start as fast as possible and finish as fast as possible. As for the middle, his advice was to ride that as fast as possible.The same can be said of climbing; as we covered in Part I and Part II of the Sur La Plaque series, the key to climbing well is to hit the bottom as ha...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Chris Fantastic!!  Why did he even bother with a saddle?  The expressions of the leaders when caught were all the same…WTF??? »

Passista

My first article on Velominati was to introduce one of my favorite cyclists, Eros Poli. I refered to him as a domestique on the Mercatone-Uno team. This faux pas was properly pointed out much later by @KaffeineKeiser, a commenter who suddenly surfaced and unfortunately submerged just as quickly, like Das Boot in the Straits of Gibraltar.*I do tak...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Gianni That you are.  Bauer is first class in a humble package.  And when prompted, a wealth of valuable cycle knowledge.  With the list of dopers growing by the minute, Steve’s name is conspicuous by its absence.  He was the ‘real deal’ and who knows ho… »

Riding Ugly: Fernando Escartin

Sometimes, getting the job done means doing it by any means necessary. Football coaches, who have just seen their team scrape out a win by a dour defensive effort and a lucky goal, refer to it as “winning ugly”. But any true Velominatus would rather lose photogenically than win ugly. In fact, our credo could well be “it’s no...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Maybe not so ‘ugly’.  Check out recent Tour of Oman Stage 3.  Some beautiful footage as I sit here in snow!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flys5ZiynLE »

Training: The Fourth Bridge

Before the New Year, it was my ride up Haleakala. At present, it’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2013. Before Haleakala, it was one of the various Cyclocross races and before that the Zoo Hill Time Trial. The targets change, but throughout my life as a Velominatus, there always seems to be a goal looming over the horizon which spurs me on. T...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Steampunk Frank…How small is that guy??? Or are you still wearing your ‘Fat Bastard’ suit? »

  2. @Steampunk Frank…how small is that guy?  Or are you still wearing your ‘Fat Bastard’ suit? »

Anatomy of a Photo: Campagnolo Candy Van

Every night I pray to Merckx that in the morning when I wake up I’ll have a Campagnolo Free Candy Van with a Super Dome.And every morning, its a fresh disappointment that it didn’t come true. Continue reading...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @TBONE Why do you keep bringing back Cheech Marin??? »

Guest Article: Urs Freuler- The Ultimate Cyclo-tash

Somehow Movember and Vajanuary have slipped out of our grasp without too much fanfare. It’s never too late to pay homage to a ‘stash and a rider such as Urs Freuler. Our trusty cycling historian @wiscot has once again stepped up and delivered, many thanks. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @xyxax Flavour-saver?? »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @sthilzy Who is this multiple rule violator?  Johnny Fever from ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’? »

To Carbone or Not To Carbone?

That is the question. Are carbon wheels a viable option for everyday riding? Should carbon wheels be your go-to wheels rather than your just-for-racing wheels? I don’t really race and I don’t own any carbon wheels and I wonder. Granted, every professional is and has been on carbon wheels for many years so it’s easy to think we sho...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Skip Great article. A must read. http://redkiteprayer.com/2011/12/thoughts-on-training-equipment/  I must admit I don’t do Carbone.  They’re noisy, potentially high maintenance, and I guess I’m in the minority here, I don’t like the look of deep section…. »

On Rule #64: The Sudden Drop

The severity of a crash exists on two planes, the physical and psychological. The physical is the most obvious and one we busy ourselves with in the immediate vicinity of coming down. Our bodies need time to heal, our kits may need replacing or mending, and our bicycles may need repair work. For weeks and sometimes months, we may carry with us t...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @frank Van driver’s first words, “Where did you come from? (He had just past the two of us).”  Then, ” Look at the damage to my van!”  As my riding buddy proceeded to rip into the douchetard, all I wanted to do was ride home.  Shaken, but almost un mar… »

  2. And apologies for Rule #81 liberties…but since the van lost, Rule #5 was applied! »

  3. @Ron Last summer whilst laying down some serious V, my wheel-sucking mate yelled, “He’s turning!”  As the road ahead in both directions was clear I was puzzled…until an overtaking van appeared and proceeded to cut into a parking lot in front of me!  I… »

La Vie Velominatus: Building Wheels

Self-awareness is a non-optional ingredient of leading a fulfilling life; while we should always push ourselves to explore new things, we should also be aware of our limitations and weigh expectations against them. This is why I avoid any activities involving intelligence or a blow torch, and take particular care to avoid those involving an inter...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. @Oli Hey,Mate.  Where have you been?  Have missed your learned comments amidst these Trekkies. »

Frank vs. The Volcano: Part Trois

At some point, I reckon the idea may dawn on me that I’m not a climber. Eighty kilos and standing something just shy of two meters, I’m not clear on why climbing is what speaks to me most about Cycling; I’m certainly not built like a grimpeur. But there is no question about it; I love riding in the mountains. I only have to catch...

@The Pressure's posts:

  1. Great job, Frank. Good thing there were lots of plush chunks of “magma” to rest on at the top!! »

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