Velominati Super Prestige:
Giro D'Italia 2013
Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: blackpooltower

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: London UK

Social:

Very keen newbie London cyclist. Bit over-obsessed with Richmond Park lap times.

@blackpooltower's activity:

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Twiggo, noted for his mimicry, is doing a *very* convincing Bernard Hinault impersonation at the moment. Please play nicely, Brad. »

  2. Rule suggestion: “Humpback bridges shall be crested en danseuse, because you never know who might be watching (and you shouldn’t deprive bystanders of a choice gunshot)” »

New Rule: 52 (Plus a Guest Reverence)

With the writing of our first book supposedly well underway (but in reality being discussed ad-nauseum in the Boardroom rather than actually committed to text), The Rules have at least been getting some form of attention from The Keepers. When deciding which Rules each of us were to curate, no-one really had much idea what exactly was in there; ask...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @brianc I have pondered that too. Underhand is practical for getting that last bit out of the bidon, I find. I kid myself it looks kind of pro too, but I suspect in reality it looks a bit hamster-like. »

V-Announcements: The Way of the Cycling Disciple

We interrupt the current programming for the following announcement:The more clever among you might have noticed slight shiftings of the sands, a new scent on the breeze. Indeed, the Velominati Boardroom has been bristling with activity of late; the meetings longer and more regular, the pints downed in quicker succession, the views shouted in loud...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @frank Ah, he’s used to it. And he loves it when people do Scottish accents. Sean Connery alwaysh goesh down well… And thanks for your discretion, but not needed. I’m very proud to have been instrumental. »

  2. @frank Can’t wait to tell Drummond he’s English (he’s Scottish) »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @Nate Agree about baby wipes. You can clean a lot with them very quickly. Also V.good for a quick spruce up of shoes. »

The Great Debate: Pump or Chuck

I’ve said it once before, but it bears repeating now: adherence to Rule #29 carries with it the ultimate mission of the aspiring Velominatus, which is to geek out endlessly over the minimum amount of gear which yields maximum security in the event of a mechanical incident while riding.The goal here is twofold. First, with no European Poste...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @chiasticon Ha! I think we’re filing that under “deliberately provocative”. »

  2. @unversio Thanks! Be great to know if it’s worth the $ »

  3. @unversio How is the Lezyne Pressure Drive, can I ask? Did you get the medium or small? I was considering the medium but obvs need to check it won’t poke out of jersey pocket etc. Got to keep the mouse in the house, as they say. »

Velominati Super Prestige: Giro di Lombardia 2012

Il Grillo gives it some stick in 06. Photo: actionplus sports images[/caption]Lombardia is a beautiful race. Taking in the majestic shoreline of Lake Como and climbing past the shrine to the Madonna del Ghisallo, its stunning Italian-ness bookends the Monuments along with Milan-San Remo which started them way back in March. And it’s a coming...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @G’phant ‘for duty’ – nice! »

  2. @ChrisO Bourbon is a tiny bit sweeter than other whiskeys (and indeed whiskys). If I remember rightly it’s because of the charred, new oak barrels which give a caremel-y character (as opposed to old and un-charred for Scottish Whisky). Sorry, have gone sl… »

Guest Article: I’ve Fallen for You

What does this have to do with the Worlds? Nothing, but it makes me laugh and includes a wicked photograph so this is the guest article today. @roadslave joined the 2012 Keepers Tour for the full week of riding and ranting and he was excellent at both. He rode at the front with a Chris Horner smile and now he admits to only riding for four years. F...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. ‘how dare they enjoy themselves while I have things to do!’ – spot on motorist analysis. »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Apropos of fuck-all, have any British, Aussie, Kiwi or other people played Towpath Cricket while riding next to a river/canal? It’s the invention of Times columnist Robert Crampton, and you play it thus: every pedestrian you overtake on a towpath scores … »

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s Road Championship 2012

It seems like just weeks ago that Cav won his rainbow stripes, things were said, umbrage was taken. Luckily we have found more umbrage so we are good to go. This course is not like last year. It’s not exactly a sprinters finish. It’s a 128 km rumble in Valkenberg and the Dutch team is there for Marianne Vos. She has finished second in...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @Chris That’s superb! Good on her. »

Breaking The Rules: 29

As we gingerly assembled outside the gite, the Belgian sun shining for the first time in the three days we’d been in the spiritual home of cycling, the conversation was muted; what do you say to a legend of the sport, an apostle in his parish about to hold a sermon on two wheels? I can’t recall who it was who said it, but I remember the...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears There’s a strange rugby-sock subculture in the UK which is equally baffling. Banker-types commuting on smart carbon bikes wearing proper shoes and … saggy old stripey woollen calf-foreskins. Dreadful. I think the explanation might have … »

  2. I could get rid of my saddlebag, but then where would I keep my elephant testicles? I may have missed the point here. »

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2012

One of the loveliest things about the Grand Tours is that you get a feel, by the nature of the route, of the country’s landscape and physical qualities. Italy is littered with mountains and coasts, France is bordered by mountains with large swaths of open landscape throughout, and Spain is like Tatooine; mostly desert with some rocky outcropp...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Is it common practice to tape a little graphic of the course profile to your stem? I saw Losada did that today. I made a homemade version of the same thing the last time I rode a sportive and was so damn impressed with my own ingenuity that I emailed the … »

Climbing Weight

When it comes to weight and body dysmorphia, we cyclists can go toe-to-toe with any thirteen year old tween who has done their time flipping through the pages of Vogue and Sixteen. However fit and thin we might be, at some point it dawns on us that we’re not as light as we could be. The obvious solution is to buy lighter parts for our bikes,...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @Fausto Dur, forgot to do my own typing before submiting. What I meant to say was ‘not sure anyone gets a vote on here’. Certainly not pedantic noobs like me. *shuts up* »

  2. @Fausto What degree of emancipation should I be aiming for here? »

Guest Article: Why Does Bradley Wear His Polo Shirt Like That?

Bradley Wiggins; have we seen too much of him now? The answer to that would be yes, unless you are British. Thank god the British road race strategy blew up in their faces. Had Cav won the Olympic road race we really would all be in a spot of British bother. @blackpooltower has a theory here and it explains some twiggy things about Wiggo.VLVV, Gian...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @il ciclista medio Thanks (and also to @brett @brett and @nate). Glad you enjoyed. I’m now on the lookout for other fashion subcultures represented in the pro peloton. I’m sure there must be some secret emos in there. »

The Lexicon

The Velominati have our own set of nicknames and terms which have developed over time through posts and correspondence. Some of these are names of landmarks or terms in cycling; others are nicknames for some of the riders in the pro peloton. While not intended to be offensive or derogatory, the nicknames in the list represent the riders’ pe...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Has anyone proposed ‘Velominiatus’ (or simply Velomini) to designate young riders just learning how to lay down the (perhaps lower-case to start with) V …? I just got my 8yo boy a new Islabike (they are superb) and I’m obviously discussing the Rules wi… »

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s Olympic Road Race 2012

You can all wave “goodbye” to your Post GT Depression Syndrome, because the Men’s Olympic Road Race is only three days yonder. I don’t typically give two shits about this particular event; while contested by national teams, unlike the Worlds it appears as just another one-day race on a calendar filled with events that carry...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Good preview of the route on Bikeradar:  http://www.bikeradar.com/road/racing/article/preview-london-2012-olympic-road-race-course-34715/ Sounds like it could get a bit chaotic on narrow roads etc. I’ll be watching from Headley Cricket Club, on the Box … »

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012

We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domesti...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @ten B It’ll endure longer than that. Especially if my fellow Londoners follow my example and ride to work in Rule #27 uncompliant Wiggins-tribute long black socks for the forseeable future. Perhaps replica sideburns too, come to think of it. »

  2. @Dr C … and thank you too. Nice to find a good home for a daft pun. »

  3. @G’phant why thank you! »

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