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Velominatus: brett

Order: Keeper of the Cog

Social: Website

Whilst Brett hails from the land Down Under, he hates that fucking song. An Aussie now living as a Kiwi, he is at home on the rich dirt of New Zealand's mountain bike trails as he is on the scorching tarmac of Australia. Despite his geographical disadvantage, the cobblestones and kassien of Belgium and Northern France hold a special place in his heart and it's where you'll find him each Spring, either with a bike underneath him or a fine Belgian ale in his hand.

@brett's activity:

This article started off as a Reverence for the Camelbak Podium, and might still be, who knows, it’s late and my mind is scrambled. As often happens when searching for a suitable image for an article, tangents often appear from nowhere and derail the original train of thought. Soon one finds oneself careening out of control towards the only...

@brett's posts:

  1. @justindcady We’re not savages. »

  2. @DeKerr I’m all for buying local too. But I’m also all for not giving Mike any more money. »

  3. @extra special and bitter Yeah, that is a story that is worth looking into. I couldn’t find any images of him loaded with bottles while in the Maillot Jaune though. Maybe Gunderson apologised and had them removed? »

  4. @ChrisO I’ll remember this on Keepers Tour next year… bring extra caps. »

  5. @markb @rfreese888 The clear/carbon bottle will match any bike. And the small one is a small one which is smaller than the big one. »

Cycling is a sport steeped in the tradition of style. There’s no denying it. From the days of miners and farmers escaping the hardships of a life spent toiling in harsh and filthy conditions either under or above ground, through Coppi and his Cosa Nostra-esque garb and swagger, Merckx and De Vlaeminck’s 70s sideburns, to Cipo and his...

@brett's posts:

  1. @therealpeel It’s pedantry, actually. »

  2. @Barracuda Yes! I hadn’t noticed until Ray, the photographer, told me… brilliant. »

  3. @Ccos You guys are pretty sharp up there eh! @Gianni As for you, you’re Hawaiian so have nothing at all to do with America. »

  4. @TBONE Last time I checked, Scotland voted to remain part of Great Britain. http://www.nationalreview.com/article/388435/scotland-remains-british-now-editors I guess the News doesn’t make it to ‘Murica. »

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out. - Bill Hicks That famous quote from the Greatest Comedian Of All Time™ has resonated with me for many years. It became my silent mantra, as I don’t suffer fools gladly and sometimes don’t make much effort to conceal the fact. Lately, I̵...

@brett's posts:

  1. @anthony No, but it helps. Gay jokes more your thing? Not that there’s anything right with that… So am I. Old enough to recognise narrative license and sarcasm, at least. »

Watching the Jensie set a “new” record was somehow not-that-interesting and riveting at the same time. One guy going around the track for an hour; only cycling aficionados could find it so compelling. The thing I can’t get out of my mind is Eddy Merckx still did 49.43 km/hr with toe clips, spoked, box section wheels and a hairnet...

@brett's posts:

  1. I’m staying well out of this. »

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out. - Bill Hicks That famous quote from the Greatest Comedian Of All Time™ has resonated with me for many years. It became my silent mantra, as I don’t suffer fools gladly and sometimes don’t make much effort to conceal the fact. Lately, I̵...

@brett's posts:

  1. @davidlhill @Teocalli The guy in the article is not the guy in the lead photo. That’s Gunderson. »

  2. @The Grande Fondue You know, I had to click on those to be reminded what they were! Maybe that says something about the spirit that The Rules (and this post) were written in, and should be held with. »

  3. I can’t address all of the comments individually, but some get it completely, others partially, some not at all. See where I say the guy could hang? That he was a nice chap? That he wasn’t rejected before a pedal was turned because of his gear? Or did yo… »

Stupidity is a powerful force never to be underestimated. Geese are a good example; a more stupid vertebrate one would be most challenged to come across yet should you wander into a flock of them pecking about peacefully in a field, one is likely to erupt from its grazing to grab a billful of your ass and commence beating you savagely with it...

@brett's posts:

  1. @frank Chickens are pretty smart actually… »

  2. Geese aren’t stupid. People who invade their space are stupid. Kinda like motorists and cyclists. There’s a frightening mindset among both; a lot of motorists in Australia and New Zealand have an attitude that cyclists are fair game, and openly state tha… »

@Bianchi_Bob sent his article in just this week. Its sense of urgency required it to be published NOW. We all need reminding to live in the moment; here is a good reminder. Thanks Bianchi Bob. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Bianchi_Bob Thanks for sharing such a personal and touching story with us Bob. With the kind of determination your daughter has, and continues to show, she’ll be kicking ass for a long, long time. And you too. Ride on mate, in all forms of life. »

Cyclists love socks. I know I do. I’d make a point of collecting as many pairs as I could from every race, event, shop or rep that I ever happened upon. Some were so good that I still have them, others, well, let’s just say they were “re-homed” long before they got the chance to retire gracefully after years of loyal service...

@brett's posts:

  1. @DeKerr No we fucking won’t! »

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@brett's posts:

  1. @frank Really? »

  2. @Gianni Indeed. +1 to that man. »

  3. @poepie No good for me then! »

I hesitate to file this in the Guest Article category. It would be better filed under fellow un-rewarded pirate cycling-site writer, if we had such a file. @winnipegcyclechick does all of her site’s writing, her graphics are usually hers and much too funny. Frankly, she makes me sick. And, AND, she can make the jokes we can’t make lest...

@brett's posts:

  1. @wiscot Maybe we could all move to Utah… »

First run in 2002, the GP de Plouay-Bretagne is part of the women’s UCI World Cup series.  It’s 4.5 laps totaling 121km. As usual, there is little information or publicity for yet another women’s UCI race. Here is a start list. Here is the official French website. And yes, Ms. Vos won the last two editions. We regret the lack of...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Julian Winn Julian Winn? Julian Winn? »

I hesitate to file this in the Guest Article category. It would be better filed under fellow un-rewarded pirate cycling-site writer, if we had such a file. @winnipegcyclechick does all of her site’s writing, her graphics are usually hers and much too funny. Frankly, she makes me sick. And, AND, she can make the jokes we can’t make lest...

@brett's posts:

  1. @wiscot Technically, you didn’t even ask! You said to expect proposals, but didn’t put yours forward. And, I live in New Zealand. Cycling heaven. I win. »

  2. @wiscot I thought that before you even said it… Andrea: Marry me? »