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Velominatus: frank

Order: Keeper of the Cog

Social: Website / / /

A lifelong Velominatus, the history and culture within cycling fascinates Frank and, if given even the vaguest of excuses, will discuss it to exhuastion. A devoted cycling aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. Email him directly at rouleur at velominati dot com.

@frank's activity:

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@frank's posts:

  1. @Chris I felt the same way and I wanted him to lose but I didn’t want him to quite without putting up a fight. As the day has passed and I’m now also embittered by a cheap Dutch loss in the World Cup, I have realized that Merckx would have finished the… »

  2. @strathlubnaig He can’t. That’s fucking stupid. I think the first was him speaking his mind, today he is taking the team line. @dyalander Oh wow! That’s a DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince reference! Now its a party! »

Cogals (pronounce it correctly: kog-al) are meetings of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Cogals are free, open to all, organized by our fellow Velominati and are always followed by consumption of post-ride Recovery Ales and merriment. These are gatherings of unbridled observance of Rule #4.C...

@frank's posts:

  1. « July 2014 »
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Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@frank's posts:

  1. No change in the standings, but but Mary V keeps nothing up the goods by paying her respects to the Pantani monument. »

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot, as it was meant to be. Spea...

@frank's posts:

  1. @Ccos …but most of the time they’re just an excuse to stop working for a few minutes. »

  2. @mpalazzi92 I took it as a Belgian nod to ol’ Freddie. That Lotto kit is über Rule Compliant, bee tee dubs. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@frank's posts:

  1. @wiscot Fabian’s point was perfect yesterday; if you can’t have cobbles, then why have climbs? Any one of those riders (cough! TJ cough!) who complains about it is dangerously close to emulating the Grimplette. »

  2. @Minnesota Expat Plus one to that. I also understand they extensively tested their gear and practiced with Van Petegem at race pace to really understand how it all worked. »

  3. @Nate Yeah, and then TJ is bitching today that the Tour shouldn’t have cobbles, forgetting that Froome quit before the first secteur. Maybe they should eliminate stages with rain as well? Stop your bitchin’ and make me a sandwich! http://www.cyclin… »

  4. Holy fuckballs, that was AWESOME. Very aptly named @slideorama takes the lead. Provisional Race Results 1. NIBALI Vincenzo 2. FUGLSANG Jakob 3. SAGAN Peter 4. KWIATKOWSKI Michal 5. CANCELLARA Fabian Provisional VSP Standings 1. slideorama (20 points) … »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@frank's posts:

  1. @TheVid I am right there with you, mate. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@frank's posts:

  1. @wiscot Yeah, I wanted him to lose, not fall over. Very disappointing. In other news, Carrefour! »

Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest fri...

@frank's posts:

  1. Ride the Cascades with the Velominati

    Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest friends has gotten…tiresome and cloying. When I first starting riding bikes a few years ago, STP was something of a challenge. A double century over two days seemed to be something epic, something life changing. At the time, it was something to aim for, and I’m glad I did it a few times with Mrs/Dr Eightzero.

    Last year was the last time I’m doing that ride. Oh, it was fun. Nothing Bad happened. The weather was perfect. We had a good time. But…if I hear “on your left” or “CAR BACK!” one more time, I’m gonna frame pump someone. Yes, I ride casually deliberately. Yes, I know there are cars on the road. But just stop it. I Obey Rule #59, so I don’t give a shit if you’re on my left. And actually, I do own the road. I ride as far to the right as is safe, and always actually look over my shoulder if I change lines. Thus, I am obeying not only the Rules, but the law in this state as well.

    The bike club wants $100 for this “fun” and while I understand it is a fund raiser for their various advocacy efforts, for $100 I get little in return. Some cheap-ass Costco snacks and bag transport. 10,000 people at a finish line “festival” means I wait in line for 20 minutes for a $5 beer, then there’s no where to sit to enjoy it.

    So, rather than go all eveyln STeVens further, I’ve decided a Cogal is just the antidote. Cogals lack everything I just described. Velominati are particularly good bike handlers. There’s no yelling on a Cogal, only V, V, and more V. When we recover, we fill the table with empty beer bottles in a comfy corner of a local brewery. Hence, the STV Summer Cogal in Arlington WA on July 12, 2014. If you plan on doing STP, well, have fun. STV is on that weekend, so you can’t do both. I hope you have a $100 worth of fun. STV, OTOH, adheres to the Keepers’ Cogal Principles: Open to all; Free to all. And Epic. Way Epic.

    As is the tradition with the Settle Summer Cogal, we start and end at a Brewery. In this case, the Skookum Brewery near the Arlington Airport. A short spur away from our loop into the North Cascades, we are taking the route listed as one of the 75 Classic Washington State rides.

    We plan Casually Deliberate, and will have a periodic regrouping at a couple of the small “towns” as there are several places to refuel and rewater along the route. It is my experience that for long, epic rides like this, company to chat with during the ride is much desired (just not 10,000 people that think that going for a 100 mile ride is life changing, and thus all have stern looks of concentration like they think a freeway overpass is the Fucking Stelvio.) Still, I expect the occasional double-pacelines to form, and we can hammer along a bit, but comraderie is best served on the road.

    We need an early start: V past 8am PDT, and the ride starts on time. Start/End: Skookum Brewery, (360) 652-4917.

    Route Directions are here.

    We may make a few detours to get supplies. The best roads are a little off the beaten commercial highways where there are stores, supplies. Note this is route is Grand Fondo distance – longer than a (Imperial) Century. As a loop, there is no turning back – you’re committed, so bring supplies and a plan. IOW: Epic.

    Casually Deliberate, but multiple groups may form. Take particular note of distances and opportunities for refuel/ rewater. This is not an urban ride. It is spectacularly scenic, and while it is long, it is not overly vertical, and therefore very doable for those us that are always Too Fat To Climb.

    VLVV -Eightzero.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - July 12, 2014
    8:05 AM - 9:00 PM

    Location
    Skookum Brewery

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot, as it was meant to be. Spea...

@frank's posts:

  1. @eightzero Yup, at least the iOS version does. The full stage replays actually start a few hours before the TV coverage. It also downgrades the feed if you’re on the wireless network so you can still watch it. On a high bandwidth connection it’s HD. Li… »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@frank's posts:

  1. OK, might as well chuck up a first provisional standing. @slideorama takes the lead and I’m shocked to see myself in the top ten. First time this year, I think! Provisional Race Results 1. NIBALI Vincenzo 2. SAGAN Peter 3. ALBASINI Michael 4. VAN AVERMA… »

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot, as it was meant to be. Spea...

@frank's posts:

  1. @Owen If you’re in the states, the NBC TDF Live App is fantastic and worth every penny, even if you have Cable already. »

  2. @therealpeel One of the great days of bike racing if you lived through it. We were there in France; it was insane and we were out in the mountains the day he lost all that time. Last we’d heard he’s blown by us on the Pla d’Baret (is that right?). But t… »

Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest fri...

@frank's posts:

  1. Ride the Cascades with the Velominati

    Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest friends has gotten…tiresome and cloying. When I first starting riding bikes a few years ago, STP was something of a challenge. A double century over two days seemed to be something epic, something life changing. At the time, it was something to aim for, and I’m glad I did it a few times with Mrs/Dr Eightzero.

    Last year was the last time I’m doing that ride. Oh, it was fun. Nothing Bad happened. The weather was perfect. We had a good time. But…if I hear “on your left” or “CAR BACK!” one more time, I’m gonna frame pump someone. Yes, I ride casually deliberately. Yes, I know there are cars on the road. But just stop it. I Obey Rule #59, so I don’t give a shit if you’re on my left. And actually, I do own the road. I ride as far to the right as is safe, and always actually look over my shoulder if I change lines. Thus, I am obeying not only the Rules, but the law in this state as well.

    The bike club wants $100 for this “fun” and while I understand it is a fund raiser for their various advocacy efforts, for $100 I get little in return. Some cheap-ass Costco snacks and bag transport. 10,000 people at a finish line “festival” means I wait in line for 20 minutes for a $5 beer, then there’s no where to sit to enjoy it.

    So, rather than go all eveyln STeVens further, I’ve decided a Cogal is just the antidote. Cogals lack everything I just described. Velominati are particularly good bike handlers. There’s no yelling on a Cogal, only V, V, and more V. When we recover, we fill the table with empty beer bottles in a comfy corner of a local brewery. Hence, the STV Summer Cogal in Arlington WA on July 12, 2014. If you plan on doing STP, well, have fun. STV is on that weekend, so you can’t do both. I hope you have a $100 worth of fun. STV, OTOH, adheres to the Keepers’ Cogal Principles: Open to all; Free to all. And Epic. Way Epic.

    As is the tradition with the Settle Summer Cogal, we start and end at a Brewery. In this case, the Skookum Brewery near the Arlington Airport. A short spur away from our loop into the North Cascades, we are taking the route listed as one of the 75 Classic Washington State rides.

    We plan Casually Deliberate, and will have a periodic regrouping at a couple of the small “towns” as there are several places to refuel and rewater along the route. It is my experience that for long, epic rides like this, company to chat with during the ride is much desired (just not 10,000 people that think that going for a 100 mile ride is life changing, and thus all have stern looks of concentration like they think a freeway overpass is the Fucking Stelvio.) Still, I expect the occasional double-pacelines to form, and we can hammer along a bit, but comraderie is best served on the road.

    We need an early start: V past 8am PDT, and the ride starts on time. Start/End: Skookum Brewery, (360) 652-4917.

    Route Directions are here.

    We may make a few detours to get supplies. The best roads are a little off the beaten commercial highways where there are stores, supplies. Note this is route is Grand Fondo distance – longer than a (Imperial) Century. As a loop, there is no turning back – you’re committed, so bring supplies and a plan. IOW: Epic.

    Casually Deliberate, but multiple groups may form. Take particular note of distances and opportunities for refuel/ rewater. This is not an urban ride. It is spectacularly scenic, and while it is long, it is not overly vertical, and therefore very doable for those us that are always Too Fat To Climb.

    VLVV -Eightzero.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - July 12, 2014
    8:05 AM - 9:00 PM

    Location
    Skookum Brewery

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Maui Velominatus Dave is Tapering for this Saturday’s Cycle to the Sun. It is more mass start, time trial to the sun as there is nothing like 3.3 km of continual climbing to sort everyone out by their power to weight ratios. After 2 km of climbing there is no pack and no draft. Everyone climbs as hard as they can and almost everyone is riding alo...

@frank's posts:

  1. The bike becomes an extension of the body through extended meditation and training. The computer does not make it so. The bike is a part of the body when you know instinctively how to unweight the saddle to roll over a bump in the road that only your per… »

Climbing is something I enjoy more than I am good at it; any time I see a new road pointing up to the heavens, I find myself irresistibly drawn to explore where it leads. Every season I come to the conclusion that my training routes are all very hilly and I arrive at the brilliant idea that I should plot out a new course which seeks out the flatt...

@frank's posts:

  1. @harminator »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@frank's posts:

  1. @Bas No specific Rule, but I’d say it is a contravention of Rule #5 and an implied contravention of Rule #9, as @Jamie kindly demonstrates for us. @Jamie Jaysus, get the fuck over it. You want want to eat someone’s rooster tail, go to the fucking f… »

Before Tomac and Ned, before LeMond and Big Mig, there was Bob Hannah. For a young lad obsessed with motorcycles as well as bicycles, the ‘Hurricane’ was the epitome of style on a bike. His bright yellow Yamaha YZs and matching head-to-toe kit set the bar and inspired me to emulate not only his style on the bike, but off it too. If onl...

@frank's posts:

  1. @brett NO. FUCKING. SHIT. »

  2. Haven’t read the whole article, skimmed the posts. What is the interweb acronym for that? In English, I think we say, “Strong work, can’t be bothered.” Anyhow, I started riding a bike in order to get as close as I could to riding a motorcycle when I was … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@frank's posts:

  1. @Bas The correct way to mount mud guards/fenders. »

There was a time when the world was painted in hues of black and white. Right and Wrong were separated by lines painted in such a thick, heavy paint that even to wander close was to already alter your very nature. The Elders taught us on which side we were to dwell and what evils would descend upon us if we were to transcend into the void. Litt...

@frank's posts:

  1. @minion Are you kidding? That’s the biggest compliment I’ve been paid this month. @Triathlete No, I just use my OCD to get it done. »