Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: itburns

Order: Gray Order Velominatus

Location: Houston, Texas, USA

Less jive, more V.

@itburns's activity:

Festum Prophetae: The Impossible Hour

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Russ Shame.  Did my traditional solo century for the Festum.  Temps topped out at 38C.  On the plus side, a section of the route that was new to me turned into full gravel/loose sand for 2 miles. Man with Hammer arrived as planned, but for added enjoym… »

  2. Other cyclist better not reenact the Derny Incident »

  3. How long is he going to wait for the real attempt after this languid practice run? »

  4. Next year they need to set up a ventrilo server to speakers and let us abuse the dutch monkey directly! »

  5. Start shouting comments from the Peanut Gallery!  That way you can abuse him guilt free. »

  6. Tell Frank to ring his bell if he is going to ride like a Dutch commuter. »

  7. There so needs to be a keg of recovery beverage with The V Army gathered round out in the middle. »

  8. 25% into pain – nice »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Gianni I believe Hylas was Hercules’ SO.  Hylas went missing so Hercules left the Argonauts in search of him. »

Festum Prophetae: The Impossible Hour

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers First episode: “Hi, my name is Fronk Strack, and this is inhaling a real wasp.” »

The Keepers

Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives.  While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Roger Ramjet Had a bike fit where the fitter put shims between my cleats and shoes to perfectly align my feet with the pedals. Made a noticeable difference.  I would assume compensating for leg length, if needed, would also be beneficial. »

Festum Prophetae: The Impossible Hour

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@itburns's posts:

  1. The winning number is: 40.05, with vomit. »

The Way of the Cycling Disciple: Publication & e-Book Sampler

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Chris E Dub The Dovetail on Jerusalem Passage is my favorite pub in London but haven’t been in years seeing as I live over the pond.  When last there, it was a bunch of Kiwis behind the bar serving a massive selection of Belgian Beer and some good food… »

  2. To paraphrase Bill Hicks: “We’ve got a writer here!” Outstanding work! »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @scaler911 How many sessions do you average a week?  Is this going to be the mandatory warm up at the next PNW cogal?  I have visions of V-kit clad Velominati doing the “gallop”. »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @scaler911 “Never jump obstacles in front of Caesar’s Palace.” »

Belgian Affirmations: Kapelmuur

There isn’t a lot about a climb several kilometers long ending in a sustained 20% cobbled gradient that communicates ‘Attack’ and/or ‘Respond’. Certainly not when it comes after 240 kilometers with only 20 left to race. Nope, I’ve double-checked the calibration and used a control-case: the only reading I’m...

@itburns's posts:

  1. Drawn here again by spam but one of the rare times I am actually thankful.  The back of the knee of RdV.  Damn. »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @snoov How could it not? »

La Vie Velominatus: The Sound of Silence

In most situations, silence is an ominous thing that signals impending doom. Having never been in any danger myself, I base this largely on my experience watching box-office movies. As a general rule, I use Hollywood as the principal source of information on all subjects as they relate to doom and politics, principally because I’m loath t...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Yannersan Arundel Mandibles are blessedly noise free. »

The Importance of Environment

While all evidence points to the contrary, the 20th century’s greatest twatwaffle LE Gunderson may have got something at least half right after all. Of course it’s about the bike, otherwise we’d be runners. But there are other factors that contribute to what makes us Cyclists which can often be overlooked completely. Not the cloth...

@itburns's posts:

  1. “Motivation can go straight out the window, where it quickly shivers and tries to come back inside.” Classic.  My “mental” cycling season officially began last weekend.  100km ride in 35C.  The first ride with the beginnings of summer thirst – went throu… »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @motor city First check the obvious – clean the front mech, especially if you have thick, sticky sports drink in your bidon over the mech. I would then check the limit screw.  I had Tiagra years ago and the limit screw would tend to move.  I finally put… »

Sur La Plaque: Rule #33

We’re heaping coals on the Giro frenzy that’s burning in all corners of the Cycling world by issuing the second installment of the monthly BigRingRiding Sur la Plaque series while at the same time kicking off the Six Days of the Giro series where we’ll post six articles on the subject of this, the best Grand Tour of the year. Y...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @motor city Picked up a pair of the shorts.  I’m impressed – same quality as bibs twice the price.  I also like the Classic (the ones in the picture posted by @motor city).  Black, black, and more black.  Hard to find basic black and quality at the sam… »

Velominati Super Prestige: Giro D’Italia 2013

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @ChrisO This is the same story line Postal used.  It would be nice if it is actually true this time. »

Velominati Kit Redesign: Half Turbine, Half Hazard

Change creeps in slowly, it has a way of taking the seemingly immutable and eroding it over time. It’s inevitable; if the great canyons were carved from the solid rock of Mount Velomis by such a soft thing as water, then it should come as no surprise that the Velominati V-Kit would also change with time. As David St. Hubbins says, “Th...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @the Engine Does that mean the saying for Velominati is now “Just who wears the socks in the family?”. »

Pink or Yellow?

We’re into day four of the Six Days of the Giro series, let’s talk trash. Yes the Tour de France started a few years before the Giro and has always been credited as The Tour to win. You win the Giro, you are a stud. Win the Tour and you are a stud for life. Why is that? Is the Tour longer, tougher, more murderous, more beautiful? In the 20...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @frank Are the other siblings jealous of the Bianchi? »

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