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Velominatus: mcsqueak

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Portland, OR

Infinite amount of time and weight away from peaking. I've never raced and I've only been cycling for three years.

@mcsqueak's activity:

In honor of de Ronde van Vlaanderen, we will be hosting a Cogal in the urban Seattle area. Route to be determined, but plan on a moderately hilly opening 80km around Lake Washington and Mercer Island before hitting the historic cobbles on Captial Hill and Queen Anne near downtown Seattle. Total length of the ride is about 115km; but the last 30 are...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. In honor of de Ronde van Vlaanderen, we will be hosting a Cogal in the urban Seattle area. Route to be determined, but plan on a moderately hilly opening 80km around Lake Washington and Mercer Island before hitting the historic cobbles on Captial Hill and Queen Anne near downtown Seattle. Total length of the ride is about 115km; but the last 30 are what really count.

    We’ll be leaving from Brouwer’s Café in Fremont at 10:05. No support vehicle is expected, but we’ll have lots of opportunity to refuel along the way. I will pre-ride the route a few days in advance and post GPX files and a queue sheet. The ride is intended to be no-drop, but due to the amount of climbing, we may break into separate groups before meeting back at Brouwer’s for post-ride recovery ales.

    Join us one and all to get a very minor taste what its like to ride de Ronde!

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 06, 2014
    10:05 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Brouwers

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


Evolution doesn’t really seem to be part of the picture anymore, at least not where humans and our direct reports are concerned. We control an astounding number of genetic defects in ourselves, our pets, and agriculture while Science and Technology give Natural Selection swirlies in the locker room.Take exercise-induced asthma, which is a con...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @frank That is a great photo and an interesting point you make about keeping your feet flat. I was on a ride last summer with @scaler911 and one of his teammates, and his teammate was behind me in our ‘paceline’. Later he mentioned that he noticed I wa… »

  2. With the obsession over maximizing output by getting rid of “dead spots”, I’m left wondering if these dead spots don’t actually give your legs a split second to recover from the previous downstroke effort, giving time to ‘rest’ before the next bit of work… »

This winter Shimano showed up on Maui with a flotilla of Colnago C-59s set up with disc brakes. The lucky Shimano people tested the bikes on some of the nicest routes on the island, including some descending down the Haleakala volcano. Unbelievably they didn’t invite me along (!?). If they had I would have suggested a different place to ride, one...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. I sure hope your heart hearts! Sort of an important function. »

  2. Gianni, for you I believe we can make an exception to the general rule of “disc brakes on road bikes are the devil’s handiwork”. »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. Sure. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Cavendish 3. Cancellara 4. Boonen 5. Goss »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @frank @Weldertron I’m just glad the bike is coming with a crank as it’s one less thing I need to buy initially. There is more than enough hilly and flat gravel around here for me to figure out if it’ll be a good ratio for me. »

  2. Thanks to @redranger for finding this sweet deal on ebay and a bunch of other fuckers for pressuring me into it, I’m now the proud owner of my first CX frame, which will be built into a proper gravel bike under the guidance of @scaler911 in preparation of… »

The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before the...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. Bunch of amateurs. You don’t have a serious problem until you’re brewing your own and have 60+ bottles on hand. Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

Assuming you ride somewhere outside the borders of Antarctica, you have likely already heard about the injustice being imposed on our friend and fellow Velominatus, Dan Richter who goes around these parts as @Dan_R.I’ve been riding Dan’s wheels for a bit over a year, and they are the best I’ve ever had. After hearing about the sui...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @frank I hate that shit. My company makes over 30% off our revenues off of a single product we have a patent on, but we actively manufacture and sell it. Patent trolling is vile and needs to be stopped. »

Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest fri...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. Ride the Cascades with the Velominati

    Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest friends has gotten…tiresome and cloying. When I first starting riding bikes a few years ago, STP was something of a challenge. A double century over two days seemed to be something epic, something life changing. At the time, it was something to aim for, and I’m glad I did it a few times with Mrs/Dr Eightzero.

    Last year was the last time I’m doing that ride. Oh, it was fun. Nothing Bad happened. The weather was perfect. We had a good time. But…if I hear “on your left” or “CAR BACK!” one more time, I’m gonna frame pump someone. Yes, I ride casually deliberately. Yes, I know there are cars on the road. But just stop it. I Obey Rule #59, so I don’t give a shit if you’re on my left. And actually, I do own the road. I ride as far to the right as is safe, and always actually look over my shoulder if I change lines. Thus, I am obeying not only the Rules, but the law in this state as well.

    The bike club wants $100 for this “fun” and while I understand it is a fund raiser for their various advocacy efforts, for $100 I get little in return. Some cheap-ass Costco snacks and bag transport. 10,000 people at a finish line “festival” means I wait in line for 20 minutes for a $5 beer, then there’s no where to sit to enjoy it.

    So, rather than go all eveyln STeVens further, I’ve decided a Cogal is just the antidote. Cogals lack everything I just described. Velominati are particularly good bike handlers. There’s no yelling on a Cogal, only V, V, and more V. When we recover, we fill the table with empty beer bottles in a comfy corner of a local brewery. Hence, the STV Summer Cogal in Arlington WA on July 12, 2014. If you plan on doing STP, well, have fun. STV is on that weekend, so you can’t do both. I hope you have a $100 worth of fun. STV, OTOH, adheres to the Keepers’ Cogal Principles: Open to all; Free to all. And Epic. Way Epic.

    As is the tradition with the Settle Summer Cogal, we start and end at a Brewery. In this case, the Skookum Brewery near the Arlington Airport. A short spur away from our loop into the North Cascades, we are taking the route listed as one of the 75 Classic Washington State rides.

    We plan casually deliberate, and will have a periodic regrouping at a couple of the small “towns” as there are several places to refuel and rewater along the route. It is my experience that for long, epic rides like this, company to chat with during the ride is much desired (just not 10,000 people that think that going for a 100 mile ride is life changing, and thus all have stern looks of concentration like they think a freeway overpass is the Fucking Stelvio.) Still, I expect the occasional double-pacelines to form, and we can hammer along a bit, but comraderie is best served on the road.

    We need an early start: V past 8am PDT, and the ride starts on time. Start/End: Skookum Brewery, (360) 652-4917.

    Route Directions are here.

    We may make a few detours to get supplies. The best roads are a little off the beaten commercial highways where there are stores, supplies. Note this is route is Grand Fondo distance – longer than a (Imperial) Century. As a loop, there is no turning back – you’re committed, so bring supplies and a plan. IOW: Epic.

    Casually Deliberate, but multiple groups may form. Take particular note of distances and opportunities for refuel/ rewater. This is not an urban ride. It is spectacularly scenic, and while it is long, it is not overly vertical, and therefore very doable for those us that are always Too Fat to Climb.

    VLVV -Eightzero.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - July 12, 2014
    8:05 AM - 9:00 PM

    Location
    Skookum Brewery

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

I’m compliant with Rule #74: no Garmin, no cyclometer, just an uncluttered cockpit. I’m not anti-data, if I could generate some awesome data I’d like to know about it. If I was racing I would train with data. I just got bored with looking at the numbers and not doing anything about them. When my Cateye cyclometer/heart rate monit...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. I love keeping track of total distances for the month/year, but after I swapped out to a shorter stem this year I decided the Garmin looked stupid on it and started to put it in my back pocket instead. Worked just as well and I never had anything staring … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @GogglesPizano That’s what I don’t understand, about any organized event… there are fueling stations everywhere, you don’t need to carry all that shit! I was watching a 5k “zombie fun run” this weekend that my girlfriend and who friends were doing, a… »

A Velominatus maintains their machine with meticulous care, doting over it daily. A bicycle is a tool, but it is also a work of art, and serves us loyally in pursuit of our craft. We love them as though they were alive; as we grow together, the cracks and lines formed upon both our skins signifies the journey that has passed beneath our wheels.A cl...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. One of the best things about my new house: a back yard where I can hose my bike off with the “mist” setting and then dry it off. Cleaning my bike takes waaaaay less time than it used to when I lived in a apartment. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @brett Top-secret image from the last founder’s board meeting: »

We interrupt our usual programming to announce that we have quietly been building and testing an upgraded photo upload tool, which now supports mobile devices and tablets, as well as adding captions to album photos.There is also beta support for pasting photos into the post editor, although in our testing this has been a bit hit or miss; I’ll...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @G’rilla I’ll be in Hawaii next may, I’ll take a rain check on that and get back to you then. @frank It was quite possibly the best cappuccino I’ve ever had. »

  2. Well slap my ass and call me Sally, it works! »

Every other Tuesday night, I put on my tweed jacket with the leather elbow patches, fill a Thermos with Earl Grey and drive the Rover 3500 to the designated home of one of my fellow members of our esteemed Book Group.As a big fan of the brilliant British television show of the same name, I was hoping that the participants and scenarios would be...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @Gianni No way, he was just early to the “graveur” trend. That could be a young Frank for all we know. »

  2. The only how-to guide I’ve ever needed: »

Flies and dogs, two things that we don’t need on a climb.I had descended down this street many times, but I had never before ridden up it. I even said hello to the two excited pitbulls on the other side of the driveway gate. I like dogs. I like them until one of them squeezes under the gate and I’m going uphill slowly. Pitbulls arenR...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @scaler911 I said “cat sized”, not “rat sized”! »

  2. The only time I’ve been “attacked” by a dog while riding was by a tiny little fucking thing about the size of a cat that came running after me on a country road with a bit of an incline. It was so small I didn’t want to unclip and outright kick it out of… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Sweet fucking ride! Though I noticed it’s missing a brooks saddle… »

Come Ride the VVhidbey Island CogalWe rode in 2011. @cyclops killed us all at km 0. Continue reading...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. Come Ride the VVhidbey Island Cogal

    We rode in 2011. @cyclops killed us all at km 0.

    We rode in 2012. The wind and rollers killed us all day.

    It is now 2013. Do you love the work? Do you miss TMWTH? Do you enjoy riding some of the most gorgeous island routes Western Washignton has to offer? If you answer with three (trois) yeses, then this Cogal is for you.

    We plan the same route as 2011 and 2012. A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 5, 2013. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse, 124 2nd Street Langley, WA 98260

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 05, 2013
    10:05 AM - 5:30 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

It is so deeply entangled at this point, I can no longer tell the threads from one another. The strands once ran cleanly from one bicycle to the next, linking a discrete sequence of events, considerations, wants, and desires. But then, 15 years ago, a strong force entered my life and I was forced to find alternate means of justifying the acquisitio...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. @frank Probably means it was sporting a Gianni-special EPMS and clip-on aero bars. »

Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks? Continue reading...

@mcsqueak's posts:

  1. The ideal solution for things in pockets. Save your money for more carbon bits or something. »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

  • @PeakInTwoYears hear, hear. I to am fortunate to ride in friendlier climes

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