Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: meursault

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: United Kingdom

Social: Website

Bike riding, poker playing, guitar strumming, photo taking, philosophising, marxist sympathising buddhist.

@meursault's activity:

Given the fact that everyone over-tightens their pedals to the crank arms, one needs a long lever to get too much torque. Rule #94 decrees using the correct tool and using it correctly. While the proper tool has always been available, it is up to us to evolve, to understand the difference between right and wrong, between vice-grip and open-ended w...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Who would have thought a German/US cross could produce so many superb tools? I blame the brain drain after ww2. I own a number of Lezyne products as they all work so well, and look so damn fine. Btw in Roma Peroni comes in a brown bottle, and tastes jus… »

It’s no secret that I’m prone to riding in the big ring as much as possible, mostly on account of my not being a giant sissy. In accordance with the ISO Non-Sissy Standard, I also never read instruction manuals or ask for directions when lost. I make sure to only rarely ask my VMH to turn up the radio when Adele comes on, usually follo...

@meursault's posts:

  1. What Ron said. I have some distance to do in June as I am attempting a Lejog. On recent  ’training’ rides (erm coffee shop visits) I tend to ride very much within myself, always looking to conserve energy. I now think I need to get out of that comfort zo… »

@Harminator just submitted this little gem of a tale. It is too timely not to share with Paris-Roubaix looming. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Hmmmmm bacon sarnies! »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@meursault's posts:

  1. A Tad uninspired… VSP PICKS: 1. Fabian Cancellara 2. Sep Vanmarcke 3. Tom Boonen 4. Alexander Kristoff 5. Peter Sagan »

I had always imagined that de Ronde van Vlaanderen must be hardest race in the world. The way I worked it out – having never ridden the course of either event at the time – was that de Ronde had the same cobbles as Roubaix, but with 20% grades thrown in. It makes enough sense so long as you don’t know what you’re talking abo...

@meursault's posts:

  1. @Pedale.Forchetta While in no way disagreeing with the keeper of photography, it may be worth noting that cycling is unique in it’s photogenicy (I don’t care if that’s not a word, I like it) So it isn’t too much of a push to say… all photography is fo… »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@meursault's posts:

  1. The R3 isdead, long live the R3 Will try that tape, thanks Frank. Put in a few km’s yest and was talking to my friend about how cars pass you and how it reflects the personalities. His theory on those that rev too much as they pass is a bully thing. Y… »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@meursault's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Peter Sagan 2. Mark Cavendish 3. John Degenkolb 4. Andre Greipel 5. Fabian Cancellara »

We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kil...

@meursault's posts:

  1. I have yet to see ANY errors in my UK copy. This is because I always read in it in a state of awe of joy,every single time. Fuck the pedants, it’s further evidence they don’t get it and never will. Buona fotyuna on the US launch. »

My favorite feeling is perhaps the empty hollowness of hunger. That statement, in itself, is a declaration of the privileged life I’ve led; it is borderline obscene to boast of such a thing in a world where 842 million people don’t have enough to eat. Nevertheless, being lucky enough to have been raised in America and just competent eno...

@meursault's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears LOL, I had to google the dance of the seven veils. »

  2. Oh my Merckx, I’m a level one, I feel so cheap… »

  3. @TommyTubolare Gianni, now may not be the time! »

  4. I don’t think it’s borderline obscene to discuss hunger of any kind. It’s a natural function and instinct of the body. It may be obscene to over eat, which most of us probably do in the west. It takes discipline to go hungry or work at fitness and such. T… »

ChrisO is back with another installment of Suffering in the Desert. Enjoy. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Proud to say I rode with (Ok behind, ok ok a long way behind, quit breaking my balls) Chris in the London Cogal. Nice read, thank you very much. »

A Velominatus gives the impression of having been born on the bike; the connection between rider and machine is so deeply entrenched that one can hardly draw the line where one ends and the other begins. There is an air of relaxed precision that is part innate and part learned through countless hours devoted to the craft of riding a bicycle batshit...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Only took me three days to workout how to post an instagram pic. Well worth it though. »

  2. Big bernie »

The Goldilocks Principle is under assault, balance is lost. Without balance, we are reduced to savages. Steerectile Dysfunction is spreading like wildfire; socks are quickly becoming knee-highs and the line between shorts and knickers continues to blur.We spend considerable time making everything on our loyal steed fit and look perfect. Bar tape an...

@meursault's posts:

  1. I posted the inner core coming out frustration last year, not a good day or walk home. I don’ use tape just give the core a small turn to lock it in now. So far so good. »

The view from Strahlubnaig.December 21st, 2013, at latitude 56 ½ degrees North, a little before 9am, and of course not fully light yet in this small corner of north west Europe, where the shortest day grudgingly gives us 6h 50m of what can be loosely described as ‘daylight’. Continue reading...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Chapeau all round, enjoyable read thank you. »

Rules! Hear me fools: The Rules mark the beginning of the path to enlightenment, not the end. There are higher planes, expanding dimensions. Beyond the color of your bar tape exists a man, a mountain, and a bike. This is where the world begins.Keeper Jim wrote this, reporting on his utilitarian climb of Mount Ventoux. He posts less than the rest of...

@meursault's posts:

  1. @Bryan Petersen this isn`t an interpretation I subscribe to. They are not just rules. They are the path. Riding the path towards enlightenment. I am a natural rebel and I question all rules, THE rules stand up to questions. Possibly my favourite Rule #37»

I’m a naturally loud and weird person who expresses excitement through volume. Also, alcohol is supposed to be a depressant, but it doesn’t appear to work for me; all it does is make me happier (and louder) – until I have a little too much at which point I get weirder (a too-happy, too-loud kind of weird). But being happy person...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Not too much, Uran has gone to OPQS, I only saw this on his Instagram. »

I have no dog in this fight but @Henrik does. I can’t swim in the serious ‘stache growing gene pool. And yes, it’s already Vajanuary, we left Mo’vember with nary a nod, why, because it’s stupid. Rule #50 could have included having the last name Freuler and wearing the prison stripped Atala kit as the second exception...

@meursault's posts:

  1. As long as we don’t go down the road, currently fashionable in US baseball, the redneck full beard. (Other US sports are available, but I don’t watch any of them)  The many hours spent freezing my nuts off, sliding across ice and slush, on dark and windy… »

@Marco’s takeSomewhere midway, I realized: looking fantastic while riding batshit fast through unknown territory in Rule #9 conditions in mid-December is hard. Continue reading...

@meursault's posts:

  1. @936adl sounds intriguing will there be availibilty for slow fucktards like me? »

  2. Nice work sounds like another epic day, enjoyed the reads thank you and happy new year everyone. »

The dark makes everything worse; something primal awakens in us when the sun has gone and we are wrapped in the black cloak of night. Laying in bed, my worst thoughts and fears come knocking like some used-car salesperson who won’t leave me alone. There is no shutting down of this process, our imaginations are given free reign to do their wor...

@meursault's posts:

  1. Winter solstice is behind us now….  Amerckx »

To each of you in our Community, we’d like to thank you for making Velominati a worthwhile place to visit and be a part of. Velominati, as most of you know, is a passion project that is borne of our nights and weekends, to be juggled between full time jobs, family, friends, and our first love – riding our bikes. And it is only because o...

@meursault's posts:

  1. All hail the keepers »

Always be Casually Deliberate, even when riding.You have just attacked off the front to take a town line sprint. It was a just-the-perfect-amount-of-dumb yet successful move. You went deeply anaerobic for a sprint no one else was even mildly interested in, but you did crush them unrestrainedly. Continue reading...

@meursault's posts:

  1. That’s the thing with cool, it’s like quality, you can’t define it, but we all know what it is, it just is. »