Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: paolo

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Los Angeles ( sucking the soul out of cycling since 2008)

An English man in self imposed exile. I can often be found riding a Cervelo in the hills above Malibu. I find there are worse ways to pass the time....

@paolo's activity:

This photo is perhaps the greatest of all time; it shows The Prophet riding in the 1969 Ronde van Vlaanderen, kit and machine perfect. Rule #9 conditions in abundance. He’s gone off the front with some 80km left to race, which predictably sent his directeur into a rage. Ordered to return to the bunch, Merckx calmly suggested he go screw hi...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @strathlubnaig And if we had them we would suspect they were doping. Sad but true…. »

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @girl You’d have to be 29hrs ahead of the West Coast which means you’d be living somewhere in the near future.   How did Frank do? »

  2. Even if it’s too late for an official guess I will say…..37.65 ( but I hope he goes over 40) »

  3. We on the West Coast are 8 hrs behind you Motor City ( who I always thought was from Detroit for some reason..like the moniker).  So Fronk rolls at 11pm for you. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @scmtns Do you actually talk bollocks for a living mate? I don’t think you’re elitist.  I think you’re probably a douchbag and I imagine most people who know you are ashamed that they share common DNA with you. »

  2. @scmtns No, it makes you kind of a dick. »

The mighty VSP generator has been switched on once again. The mil-spec hydraulic fluid has been changed since the Giro. A new power take-off belt has also been installed. And the punch card reader has been refurbished.Broome and Berti are already riding the Critérium du Dauphiné. The top contenders prefer the Dauphiné for the decent recovery all...

@paolo's posts:

  1. Anyone watching the live stream today?  I can’t get rid of the buggering ads for the life of me. All the usual methods like clicking the red x in the ad and not the one in the corner or trying to expand the view to full screen aren’t working…anyone got … »

We have the kind of poor judgement that allows us to have a puppy. She’s half pit, half something, and half something else and boasts a lilliputian-sized head. As her Life Coach, I’ve instructed her to focus on growing her head because, as her Uncle Gianni says, no one gets anywhere in this world with a tiny head. But she’s a g...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @seemunkee That puppy does look like it wants to kick your ass….that puppy looks like Roy “pretty boy” Shaw. And he could kick ass. »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @frank poor wiggo….did you ever see someone so uncomfortable and ill at ease with themselves.  I hope as he grows older he gets used to being inside his own skin. »

  2. @PeakInTwoYears Wow, you must not be American. You know you are hinting at actual evoloution don’t you?  Not the sort that sees dura ace become di2 but actual evoloution.   This is tant amount to herasy in some parts of this country.  ( not the PNW whe… »

  3. I wonder if Amoebas tell each other to go fuck themselves? »

  4. @Marcus You say that now but my guess is that after two minutes you’d be a bitter dissapointment to yourself! »

  5. @DocBrian I think you need to get a grip and have a word with yourself. As far as for the self opinionated morons you are in disagreement with, as far as I can see, none of them run this site.  They just come for entertainment same as me and you.    Sel… »

  6. @HeinrichHausslersHairstyle Here, in my opinion are two great reasons to not go the electric route.  The second reason speaks for itself. Who wants limp wrists?  The first, well the only thing I like about cycling more than riding my bike and spending t… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @strathlubnaig Just a professional interest…contractor or you work for one of the major oil companies? »

  2. @Dan_R Any word on your 24mm clinchers yet?  I got money burning a hole in my pocket…… »

In most situations, silence is an ominous thing that signals impending doom. Having never been in any danger myself, I base this largely on my experience watching box-office movies. As a general rule, I use Hollywood as the principal source of information on all subjects as they relate to doom and politics, principally because I’m loath t...

@paolo's posts:

  1. I’d like to try some of Lim’s recipes too but I’m afraid I’d get the EPO dosage wrong or that my blood bags would go off whilst in the freezer.   Just sayin’ »

  2. @mcsqueak I’m sure you guys have checked…not trying to piss Scaler off, but when I have had consistent clicking underload I found that the lock ring on the cassette was just not quite snugged up.  As you say…enuff of dat! »

  3. @scaler911 mavics by any chance?   Just curious. »

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @scaler911 There it is…I’m a Buffoon with fat fingers… »

  2. @paolo oops wrong article quoted…..was supposed to be about egg timers retirement.   Dunno how that happened! »

  3. @G’rilla Thank the baby jeebus I won’t have to read any articles this year about how he’s a genuine contender at this years TDF.  I guess they will just write the same articles though and replace his name with Teejay Van Garderen’s »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@paolo's posts:

  1. If I make swaps I could end up with negative points…….like wiggo I will shuffle off and prepare for the Tour! »

In most situations, silence is an ominous thing that signals impending doom. Having never been in any danger myself, I base this largely on my experience watching box-office movies. As a general rule, I use Hollywood as the principal source of information on all subjects as they relate to doom and politics, principally because I’m loath t...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @mcsqueak squeekers, my c24 dura ace wheels were chirping a while back.. I was sure it was the bearings, took it to my lbs and they put a dot of tri flow on each spoke where it meets the rim. No more noise. The guy said you always have a problem at the i… »

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@paolo's posts:

  1. On passing a group slightly more elderly yjas a few years back, my sensei told me ” if you ever get one of those jackets, you can never ride with me again” »