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Velominatus: scaler911

Order: Gray Order Velominatus

Location: Vancouver WA

Cat II (USA Cycling), Cat III (OBRA), also weekend warrior/ armchair cycling critic.

@scaler911's activity:

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Ah yes, slipping around the tile floor of a country market, far from the cafe espressi of the hipper parts of the city. Standing in line with  Dasani waters to refill the bidons, the lumberjack in front of you picking up his daily 18 pack of “Shit Ice Li… »

 Rule #4 is clear but how do you explain to your five year old what a twatwaffle is? I was left trying to define twatwaffle to a room full of relatives, none five years old but a few close to ninety-five years old. Someone opened The Book of Rules and loudly read out Rule #4. Some hand waving and muttering about the Dutch deflected things, thankf...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Fantastic! Yes, let’s get these printed again. I’ll buy a few. »

@Bianchi_Bob sent his article in just this week. Its sense of urgency required it to be published NOW. We all need reminding to live in the moment; here is a good reminder. Thanks Bianchi Bob. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Great great article @Bianchi-Bob. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/porter-gale/cancer_b_1861265.html Liz, in the article, I’ve known since before she was born. Her mom was a dear friend. A sister really. While I enjoy riding with others, and racing (the co… »

Brett’s recent post about Jensie brings up the dilemma of professional cycling for me. I admire many of cycling’s famous riders yet I don’t admire cheaters. Luckily for me I can fervently embrace opposable ideas within my consciousness and sleep well at night. Which also means I would have been one of those cheaters. I also see the tangle...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @Gianni I agree. I do tire of reading the comments after every race report on CN being about how “they’re all doping”. Give it a rest already. That said, I followed Inga for most of her career, and always admired her pluck and honesty. Then there’s th… »

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sush...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @frank Turns out running your own business is a lot more time consuming than working for the man. Shit, I even Delgado’d the Vuelta! »

  2. Thank you Frank. I’ve been away far too long. I resolve to fix that. »

I bought a Road ID the day I learned of Jon Lennard’s death on August 12, 2013. Someone in the posts of the original announcement of his passing (below) mentioned he was identified by his Road ID. Of course he had a Road ID. What I knew of him made that perfect. So responsible and sensible.The nature of this community is a strange thing; we d...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. From time to time @itburns FB page pops up on my wall. After that particular tragedy I always think about him when I throw a leg over the TT. As evidenced earlier today, the great ones always go too soon. RIP itburns, you won’t be forgotten. »

July 13 2014 marked the 35th anniversary of the seminal ‘cycling film’ Breaking Away. 35 years. Nothing stays popular for that long, right? Things get dated, lose their edge (if there was edge in the first place) and eventually become irrelevant (I’m looking at you, Rolling Stones). Yes, even legends get stale if left out too lon...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. This. American Flyers and Hot Dog The Movie. I watch all of them once a year. Judge if you want, but I’m right and you know it. »

Brett’s fine Nick Cave article got me thinking about music and cycling. We spend lots of time alone on our bikes. The bike is on autopilot, it stays upright from second to second, freeing up our brains to consider anything or nothing. Music might be the only riding companion we have but it has to be the right music. Being as Pro as possible is...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Rule #62 is one that I ignore almost always. I never where them with a group (that’s just bad manners), but the rest of the time, I always have the iPod loaded up with playlists to match what I have in mind for that ride. You wanna know why I do this? Bec… »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @Owen Pre! (I come from a distance running background. My high school track and cross country coach was friends with Bill Bowerman). »

  2. @frank Good to be back. Will be spotty for the next month or so, but I miss the community here. Once the new business is settled down, things will get more back to normal for me. Allez! »

  3. However, if you’re trying to ‘break’ a guy next to you, closing the mouth for a few breaths, and looking at your rival with a wry smile, is a way to break souls. But in the meantime, it’s the best way to get air to the blood. How’s it been going around t… »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Zoomy is going to have an off day and fall off the podium in the 3rd week. TJ is gonna have a fab ride, but not quite get to the top step (next year). Andrew is looking good. J-Rod will take some stages in the mountains, and be in the top 10, but his lack… »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Go get ‘em girls! VSP PICKS: 1. Abbott 2. Vos 3. Stevens 4. Pooley 5. Longo-Borghini »

Maui Velominatus Dave is tapering for this Saturday’s Cycle to the Sun. It is more mass start, time trial to the sun as there is nothing like 3.3 km of continual climbing to sort everyone out by their power to weight ratios. After 2 km of climbing there is no pack and no draft. Everyone climbs as hard as they can and almost everyone is riding alo...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @frank So busy, so much to read, too little time. But if I was going to put my thoughts on this fine article into words of my own, I’d just be repeating Frank. »

Climbing is something I enjoy more than I am good at it; any time I see a new road pointing up to the heavens, I find myself irresistibly drawn to explore where it leads. Every season I come to the conclusion that my training routes are all very hilly and I arrive at the brilliant idea that I should plot out a new course which seeks out the flatt...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Climbing. What other reason is there to ride our bikes? »

The Tour de Suisse can be everyone’s warm-up for the Tour de France, including all you VSP dreamers. The big show seems to be the Critérium de Dauphanié this year, as far as Tour de France contenders go but the Tour de Suisse still has some big guns showing up. Twiggo is here, not for a Tour warm up, unless people are worried about Richie P...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. The tea leaves show The Mod Father throwing down to prove a point with Sky. Costa may get a stage, but not the overall. Toss up between Rohan and Frank for 5th. VSP PICKS: 1. Wiggo 2. Costa 3. Mollema 4. Kreuziger 5. Rohan »

There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistical...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @unversio Don’t despair all. When I head out to MN for the Heck of the North I’ll be having a word with that lid. I’m planning on crushing it, running it through a chipper and burning the rest. I’ll put the remains lovingly in a Urn, and give it back t… »

There was a time when I held down ‘real jobs’. Jobs with (a little) stress, with (some) responsibility, but without soul. And while dealing with the great unwashed public never held much appeal, I always envied the guys who worked at my preferred LBS. They seemingly had it all––an endless supply of cheap bikes and parts, hanging out and s...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. When I first started racing, I started hanging around our LBS owned by Hans, an old Dutch guy with a very thick accent. As time went on, I got to know the manager (became good enough friends I was a groomsman at his wedding), and the other wrenches. After… »

Maybe it’s the milestone of aging that I recently reached. It could be an awareness of the unique foibles of this sport/activity/pastime that I practice. Possibly, I just woke up one day and realised that this is a weird thing for a middle-aged man to be doing. The time for reassessment hit me, involuntarily and without warning. And I’m...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Brett, I was a product of this very thing. I discovered cycling in my early 20’s, got good at it pretty quickly and next thing I knew I was a Cat II, close to Cat I. The training dialed way up as I hoped to get on the national stage. I’d cooked through a … »

I don’t know how a guy who shows off the better part of a half meter of seat post comes to the conclusion that his saddle is too low, but that precise thought occupies an enormous amount of time. Ever closer looms the minimum insertion point on my seat pin, yet I am irrevocably bound to explore its limits.I actually wish my legs were shorter...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @frank Drunk writing again? I noticed a few, but didn’t matter. »

  2. I tweak around with my saddle height a lot. Made a big move up this spring, and while it seemed to help my power up hills (no idea if it did in actual watts, I don’t use a power meter), it made the upper part of my calves pretty sore. Guess I wasn’t engag… »

This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone knows someone who has done this. I nearly did it myself*. I replied to Alex, not sympathetically enough yet his message has stayed with me. Is this worthy of a New Rule? Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Yep. Was on my way home from a race, going to a buddies, dropped into the local grocery store for like 10min. Came out and you know how you look for your car in a crowded parking lot by looking for your bike on top? Well, it wasn’t there. … »

  2. Good Rule. While I’ve not had the pleasure of ripping my bikes off the roof of the car, I have many friends who have. Sucks for them, mild comedy for me. (isn’t comedy just laughing at other peoples tragedy?) I did however have my entire roof rack stole… »

I met a nice character a few weeks ago on a magnificent ride through the Bay Area. He rode a Colnago C-50 which was so filthy that I was unable to ascertain with any degree of certainty what color it was painted. I spent most of the ride suppressing the impulse to lead him and his bike through a local car wash. As it turns out, he’s based o...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Have to give that a look. I usually wash the bike with Simple Green, then polish up the bits with an Armor All wipe (except the seat of course). »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

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