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Velominatus: Barracuda

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Fleurieu Peninsula - South Australia

Self diagnosed Jack of all trades and master of None.... Champagne tastes but a beer budget .... Dreams of a trip to Roubaix ..... reality is a trip to gravel road on outskirts of town.

@Barracuda's activity:

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Excellent work Sir, Im now checking my messages for the ” Im at the Rapha Store in Sydney ! Wire me some cash and Ill pick you one up ! ”  text. Love that Jersey. Strong Kit game indeed.   Im very ENVEous »

Cyclists love socks. I know I do. I’d make a point of collecting as many pairs as I could from every race, event, shop or rep that I ever happened upon. Some were so good that I still have them, others, well, let’s just say they were “re-homed” long before they got the chance to retire gracefully after years of loyal service...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. My De Feets with a bit of extra bling.    Excellent woolyness ! »

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Hence why I love my Rapha classic kit Haters gonna hate »

I hesitate to file this in the Guest Article category. It would be better filed under fellow un-rewarded pirate cycling-site writer, if we had such a file. @winnipegcyclechick does all of her site’s writing, her graphics are usually hers and much too funny. Frankly, she makes me sick. And, AND, she can make the jokes we can’t make lest...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Spot on post ! Those were the days ! Sounds like the world is not such a big place after all. »

Did everyone got tired of seeing a nearly naked Marcel Kittel on the massage table for the Tour’s VSP page? I know I didn’t. Young Kennaugh will be sporting his British road race jersey and his proper shoe/sock pairing in this Vuelta. Get used to it. Ladies and gentleman we have a race. We have some Giro winners, we have some Tour...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Delgado due to computer thingy issues. Can now sit back and watch and not get pissed off by worrying about tips. Bling Matthews, well played sir. »

The future is dark, which is the best thing the future can be, I think.- Virginia WoolfOur actions lie on the horizon of the present, in that swirling cloud where fantasy turns into reality. To plan is to cast a shadow into the future, to attempt to lay shape to the unknown. As the present merges with the future, reality will try our plans on for s...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. This might help :- “Do or do not. There is no try.” »

  2. ” Brain: We don’t know how long this climb is, we better store spare coals in the back room in case of emergency. It might get steep later or there might be a second climb. ” Guilty as charged, your honor ! Must remedy this one. »

Choice, or the perception of it, is one of the most powerful forces on Earth. The great secret lies in the locus of control, which suggests that if given the perception of a choice we will be more willing to endure hardship or suffering. We’ll suffer even for the promise of a future intangible reward so long as we feel we have a choice...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Same, but different »

  2. @Mikael Liddy     The only people that think you’re /  We are, crazy for early morning or late night rides are people to lazy to get off the couch. Once out and on the road the endorphins (or dolphins as my daughter calls them ) kick in and the planet lo… »

If @steampunk can’t take much credit here I guess we can’t take any. We can take pleasure is seeing someone’s kid hauling ass on a bike, a Velominatus spawn, even better. We all came to cycling by different paths, seemingly few by our parents. It is impossible to outguess one’s children; they are clever little bastards. Hop...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @wilburrox A simple photo of a front lawn and a few bikes. Right there, is what its all about ! Those bikes have taken those kids far and wide and for no apparent reason.  Memories of days gone come flooding back from that one photo. Thanks »

July 13 2014 marked the 35th anniversary of the seminal ‘cycling film’ Breaking Away. 35 years. Nothing stays popular for that long, right? Things get dated, lose their edge (if there was edge in the first place) and eventually become irrelevant (I’m looking at you, Rolling Stones). Yes, even legends get stale if left out too lon...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @brett How good is that !    “straight to the pool room ” , get that mans autograph on the DVD jacket »

The race of the funny hat.Every team seems to have included one or two riders fresh off the Tour. One would either feel ruined or unbeatable a week after that slug fest, more than likely, ruined. I imagine there are a few riders dodging calls from their directors this week. Continue reading...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. sagan 2. phil gilbert 3. gallopin 4. van avermat 5. mollema »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Rom   Good to know, well played !     Adelaide and Fleurieu Peninsula in 2015 it is for you then ! »

  2. @frank @frank Please tell me that the ride your doing in the picture was not preceded by a swim, then followed by a run ?!? »

  3. @Mikael Liddy  ahh the good old gut breathe, I know it well.   Speaking of Cogals, two this year for fellow Velominati.  The Adelaide Hills pain cave and the Southern Cogal again round April.    Thats how we roll ! »

  4. A bit like Mr Voeckler, I employ the “whale shark” just ordering a coffee ! Whats bigger than a whale shark ? Let me know and Ill use that technique in my riding.  Lungs like peanuts I have. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Gianni Ahhhhh,  that flag ! »

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Very poor form and the DS is in denial. Underhanded and shouldnt have been tolerated by race officials.  A Lezyne hand pump through the front wheel or a Robbie McEwen “brake check” would have fixed the cheating so and so’s »

  2. @Mikael Liddy Pepper spray out of the middle pocket and straight into the bitches eyes.   Thats amazing, and blatant. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @william reichert You have much to learn, stick around and you’ll get the hang of it, enjoy ! »

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Chris Agree, Iv got a Road ID, but its black to save confusion. Wrist cock rings are so yesterday ! »

  2. I am hoping the rampant steak eater reigns supreme over the dodgy inhaler. VSP PICKS: 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Nibali 4. Valverde 5. Teejay »

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Cromwell 3. Armistead 4. Pooley 5. Longo Borghini »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Optimiste Not even sure why @Fisting_ Cupcakes would prefix a post with “Guest Article”.  @Gianni must have let that one slip through to the keeper. »

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Rapha cream for mine.   Because it smells like the Alps and is made from pixie dust and fairy wings. »