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Velominatus: Barracuda

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Fleurieu Peninsula - South Australia

Self diagnosed Jack of all trades and master of None.... Champagne tastes but a beer budget .... Dreams of a trip to Roubaix ..... reality is a trip to gravel road on outskirts of town.

@Barracuda's activity:

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @frank @frank Please tell me that the ride your doing in the picture was not preceded by a swim, then followed by a run ?!? »

  2. @Mikael Liddy  ahh the good old gut breathe, I know it well.   Speaking of Cogals, two this year for fellow Velominati.  The Adelaide Hills pain cave and the Southern Cogal again round April.    Thats how we roll ! »

  3. A bit like Mr Voeckler, I employ the “whale shark” just ordering a coffee ! Whats bigger than a whale shark ? Let me know and Ill use that technique in my riding.  Lungs like peanuts I have. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Gianni Ahhhhh,  that flag ! »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Very poor form and the DS is in denial. Underhanded and shouldnt have been tolerated by race officials.  A Lezyne hand pump through the front wheel or a Robbie McEwen “brake check” would have fixed the cheating so and so’s »

  2. @Mikael Liddy Pepper spray out of the middle pocket and straight into the bitches eyes.   Thats amazing, and blatant. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @william reichert You have much to learn, stick around and you’ll get the hang of it, enjoy ! »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Chris Agree, Iv got a Road ID, but its black to save confusion. Wrist cock rings are so yesterday ! »

  2. I am hoping the rampant steak eater reigns supreme over the dodgy inhaler. VSP PICKS: 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Nibali 4. Valverde 5. Teejay »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Cromwell 3. Armistead 4. Pooley 5. Longo Borghini »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Optimiste Not even sure why @Fisting_ Cupcakes would prefix a post with “Guest Article”.  @Gianni must have let that one slip through to the keeper. »

Chamois leather used in cycling shorts looked like this only once, before the first washing. After that one had to slather cream onto it to attempt to restore it to its former soft smoothness, which was impossible. I have written a reverence article on chamois cream and I vowed then to never google “saddle sore images” again, hence a b...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Rapha cream for mine.   Because it smells like the Alps and is made from pixie dust and fairy wings. »

Maui Velominatus Dave is tapering for this Saturday’s Cycle to the Sun. It is more mass start, time trial to the sun as there is nothing like 3.3 km of continual climbing to sort everyone out by their power to weight ratios. After 2 km of climbing there is no pack and no draft. Everyone climbs as hard as they can and almost everyone is riding alo...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Interesting conundrum @Gianni Like @Tobin an @frank have said, I go riding to turn my brain off, not sure I need another device to keep it constantly buzzing and thinking and worrying and stressing.  By nature Im a ball of stress so a power meter added t… »

Climbing is something I enjoy more than I am good at it; any time I see a new road pointing up to the heavens, I find myself irresistibly drawn to explore where it leads. Every season I come to the conclusion that my training routes are all very hilly and I arrive at the brilliant idea that I should plot out a new course which seeks out the flatt...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @The Grande Fondue Crows Nest Road – Port Elliot South Oz »

  2. @sthilzy  – Yes, its quite a leg sapping surface, I did it in the dark the other night and was much quicker as the brain and body couldnt confuse each other. Having said that, the Gallardo you drove would eat it up.   How was the sound in the cockpit ? … »

  3. Me, with the bitumen biting hard at the jersey pockets with my cohorts sailing off up the 12% + grade.  I’m writing cheques that my body can’t cash! »

  4. @frank   -  “I feel the hill clawing at my jersey, pulling me back down to the valley” Yes, this ! My middle jersey pocket is slightly stretched, more so than the left and right, due to the above. Rapha need to make their middle pockets a bit more stur… »

I’m not even talking about all the pseudo-asthmatics out there, vaping their way to better breathing. My breathing is just fine. It’s my little citron sized heart that is slowing me down. Is there a street-legal injection or vacuum pump for heart enlargement, or a trip to a doctor in the Congo that would transplant a badass Mandrill heart for m...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Barracuda I went right, then left ! »

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I hate to distract from Marko’s defense of his POC helmet and shades photo but @snowgeek is weaving cycling and sailing together here. It may never have been done before so please read carefully. The two activities have almost nothing in common except the wind and being wet and miserable. @snowgeek is not dwelling on the wet and miserable par...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. @Barracuda “VMG”  Damn iphone »

  2. Avid Windsurfer here. Interestingly as an aside, had alot of Neil Pryde sails and carbon masts.  My surf /slalom board attached to the Neil Pryde V8 Slalom sail was a joy to ride.  Wait, shit sorry, V8 slalom sail sounds alot like Allez and Roubaix. Sorry… »

  3. @Ccos   »

There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistical...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. Just gonna pop home at lunch time to grab the VMH’s inhaler and give it a try.  Let you know if my speed in front of the Dell improves. May be handy for tomorrow mornings 6am ride in the pissing rain and wind though ! What damage could it possibly do ? »

The Tour de Suisse can be everyone’s warm-up for the Tour de France, including all you VSP dreamers. The big show seems to be the Critérium de Dauphanié this year, as far as Tour de France contenders go but the Tour de Suisse still has some big guns showing up. Twiggo is here, not for a Tour warm up, unless people are worried about Richie P...

@Barracuda's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Wiggins 2. pozzovivo 3. Costa 4. Kreuziger 5. Mollema »