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Velominatus: Beers

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Waitakere

Tortoise extraordinaire

@Beers's activity:

Rule #31 was conceived out of necessity, aesthetics and plain good taste.  Seeing an oversized saddle bag hanging limply by velcro under a Flite, Arione or Regal just isn’t right.  Frame pumps, while they undoubtedly do the finest job of inflating a tube, add nothing but bulk and clutter to the lines of a frame (and aren’t compatibl...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Charlie Mcilroy Read the Masturbation Principle. »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Beers's posts:

  1. ChrisO And, in turn I do the same, under a helmet. To be blunt I’m a fucking useless hubbard compared to you ChrisO, so please disregard this by all accounts. For me, sunshade and perspiration accumulation are benefits that the Uvex doesn’t provide les… »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Monty Stubble Fuck that, you might die between now and then. Life is too short to have such primo shit gathering dust. Put those fuckers back on the bike and ride the shit out of them. Ask not am I worthy, thoust doth ask thy self, are they worthy of m… »

  2. @frank Indeed, I believe pro mechanics know that the pressure is right for le pave when the rim kisses the stones through the tub on the roughest patches. Must be hitting the rim with free abandon at 60kph into the Arenberg.. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Ron Uh, I get up twice a week at V:0V in the morning and ride a bunch ride then ride through to work for 9am. 75k, plus return trip is near to 100 for the day, so it can be done. With kids, it drives me a bit insane with the reduced sleep, but is broug… »

I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish thing to claim to be. What is true, however, is that Batman is pretty cool and it would probably be pretty cool to be a cool dude like Batman. It bears mentioning, however, that I have never been see...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @RobSandy Google is your friend, I found this http://forum.cyclingnews.com/showthread.php?t=8170 Seems to be not exceptional in terms of cycling VO2, but over 440w for an hour sure is amazing! VO2 and HR are of course only indications, you can make up … »

  2. @Barracuda Yeah, it feels dirty doesn’t it? But, as above, it doesn’t mean because they were the best of a bad bunch that you have to like them. And I don’t like the Texan Shitcake. But don’t align yourself with my view, lest the bunch send you to the… »

  3. @Chris Mr Black jacket is also having a sex wee over his presence of awesome »

  4. @frank Lance was always going to be the villain when Pantani was your hero, he was Pantani’s opposition and took him on in your hero’s domain, the mountains. You couldn’t help but wish his fork folded and he ground his face to a pulp on a descent. I don’… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @kixsand So good to see it all work out mate »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka If by ‘us’ you mean investment bankers, lawyers and ceo’s out on their sunday jaunt! Dunno about you guys, but at those prices, budgetatus does not compute, that’s a whole year of bike maintenance in a jersey. All power to anyone who buys it… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @kixsand Hotness.. »

  2. @piwakawaka That depends really, @kixsand might actually be riding too small and crouched up already and should ride a 58 with the 25mm 120mm? How tall are you @kixsand? Any computer I’ve punched my figures in says I should ride 58 and I’m 178cm. I’m pi… »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Fark off you skinny karnt. As one of the most pro of all Velominati, you know that isn’t true! Lets hope the TT Suit has more coverage than Froomedogs, lest you need SPF 5 million for your local riding! »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @kixsand Good man! The pain of the beating she will give you and the pain in your wallet will be well forgotten after the first centimetre of the first ride.. »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@Beers's posts:

  1. This is awesome! Exactly how I think we are perceived. Would never wear kit to a pub, but no option on a mid ride coffee stop on a leisurely ride. Am mindful of fellow patrons though, I often remove my clip cloppers and stroll around in socks to order, th… »

There is nothing more disappointing than discovering the truth behind a myth or spotting the mortal behind a legend. This is why I make a point never to do any research or in any other way attempt to validate my assumptions when evaluating a situation; mystery that feels like a fact and sounds like a fact is better than an actual fact. Tr...

@Beers's posts:

  1. I really do wonder sometimes @frank what prompts you to a certain topic to which you turn your pen. This here, could it be Gunderson and the ill fated Fondo return? Or perhaps the team of sky blue coated climb rockets? It matters not I suppose, more that … »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @rs_sttr My mate has this same frame. I love it! And welcome. »

To keep chickens is to walk a path towards introspection. From the songs they sing after laying an egg (which I assume is “chicken” for “I’m Every Woman“) to the sheer glee they show when they find a worm in the mud, chickens provide a perfect example of living life in and for the moment. The most interesting aspect o...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @wiscot It surprises me sometimes how we are frustrated with how a race is won, rather than an all out ‘results are all that matters’ attitude. I mean, I don’t condone gambling at all, but in horse racing I’m pretty sure no one gives a fuck how the hor… »

A great unknown awaits the young men, bound by a common entity of steel, flesh and passion rolled together. Do they contemplate the future, or are they so encapsulated in the here and now that anything beyond the finish line seems like it could only be for old people? Have they any inkling which path they will take, or be guided towards? Maybe...

@Beers's posts:

  1. »

  2. @antihero Reminded me of this: “Racing was at its hardest when the stands were full. Riders took it easy when they were empty and circled the track reading newspapers, talking, even writing letters as they pedalled with one foot, the other steering th… »

If Rouler does not do reviews, we don’t do reviews. Think of this as a commentary on Bont’s Vaypor+ road shoe. Any discussion of points-of-contact will generate a storm of comments ending in why Sidi shoes and fi'zi:k saddles are the best. They may be the best for you but not for me. Everyone’s feet and everyone’s butt has d...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @Chris Thanks for letting me know! I have borrowed the Arione and Antares, no luck yet over 150km. I will continue in the hope of finding the happy medium you have… And Chapeau, 350km! Eghad! »

  2. @Chris 300km? Holy moly. Is your saddle made of fluffy clouds? After that length of time I’d be looking for a shotgun to end the butt-hurt.. What do you ride for a saddle at that distance? »

  3. Bonts have always intrigued me. Anyone got the good oil on their Riot base level shoe? »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Beers's posts:

  1. @DeKerr That sure is a steed to be proud of, love the skinwalls. Chapeau on the purchase! »