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Velominatus: Bespoke

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Toronto, Canada

Social: Website

Member of the "Cycling is the New Golf" club. The only pursuit from my embrace of middle age that works up a sweat, as clearly golf, curling nor the consumption of single malt (even vigorous consumption) don't. Except perhaps in the middle of the night.

@Bespoke's activity:

I hesitate to file this in the Guest Article category. It would be better filed under fellow un-rewarded pirate cycling-site writer, if we had such a file. @winnipegcyclechick does all of her site’s writing, her graphics are usually hers and much too funny. Frankly, she makes me sick. And, AND, she can make the jokes we can’t make lest...

@Bespoke's posts:

  1. @Deakus There’s lots more pleasurable reading on her blog but, be warned: I think she’s already married! »

Most great ideas in life are accompanied by an unforeseen consequence of equal or greater magnitude. For instance, no one predicted that the Industrial Revolution would pollute our air and set off climate change on a global scale. Similarly, no one realized that when placing unfathomable computing power in the palm of our hands in the form of smart...

@Bespoke's posts:

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@Bespoke's posts:

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sush...

@Bespoke's posts:

I have met @chris on the original Keepers Tour. He seemed like a reasonable person at the time. Then again, @rob passes himself off  as a rational person yet he signed up for the Too Much on 100 ride and completed it. People sign up for these crazy rides because it forces them to get in the best shape possible. It makes these long rides more enjoy...

@Bespoke's posts:

If @steampunk can’t take much credit here I guess we can’t take any. We can take pleasure is seeing someone’s kid hauling ass on a bike, a Velominatus spawn, even better. We all came to cycling by different paths, seemingly few by our parents. It is impossible to outguess one’s children; they are clever little bastards. Hop...

@Bespoke's posts:

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@Bespoke's posts:

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

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The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

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Cogals (pronounce it correctly: kog-al) are meetings of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Cogals are free, open to all, organized by our fellow Velominati and are always followed by consumption of post-ride Recovery Ales and merriment. These are gatherings of unbridled observance of Rule #4...

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