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Velominatus: Boltzmann

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@Boltzmann's activity:

This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone knows someone who has done this. I nearly did it myself*. I replied to Alex, not sympathetically enough yet his message has stayed with me. Is this worthy of a New Rule? Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Agree this is more appropriately a part of the lexicon rather than a rule. In our case:  When on the roof rack on the MINI both bikes clear the garage door by 2cm; when in the bed of the truck (with spiffy Yakima fork mount), clears by 70cm. There was t… »

Anecdotal research suggests that people are being let off-leash without adequate training to perform basic activities such as walking on sidewalks or through airports and busy city centers. I’m assuming this expands to shopping malls, but I never go there so I can’t be sure. It’s easy to blame the mobile phones which apparentl...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Another spot-on article Franck!  Situational awareness is lacking in so many of our fellows.  But the greater bafflement is those who stop seemingly purposefully to add to the human blockage in a mount/dismount area or queue.  As you raised SeaTac:  what … »

Here are a few lessons learned while in New York City. I’m sure leaving a bar at one o’clock in the morning is not how the serious riders prepare for a ride with a 9 o’clock morning roll-out. I am sure. Conversational pace for a group ride means different things to different people. Eddy could talk your ear off at 40kph. Lezyne mini-pump owne...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. A great event! »

We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kil...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Sorry for the loss of your pup – savor the memories! I secured the UK version early on and savored the read.  The book resides in the place of honor on the cycling shelf in our library.  Eagerly await the release of the US version – gift plans for some f… »

Every time we get on our bikes, we are playing a game of Russian Roulette. We take care to maintain our machines, to make sure they are in perfect running order, we look after our bodies to maximise our performance, and we, hopefully, abide by the rules of the road to keep ourselves safe from the dangers of other road users. But ultimately, our liv...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Requiescat in pace, Kristof. Puffy’s suggestion has merit – maybe with the modification to have all motorists spend a minimum of X days/miles/units as a cyclist before being licensed.  An annual refresher requirement for motor vehicle operators has long … »

Lucky is the cyclist who has a parent cyclist. Early mentoring about the pain cave, guidance gluing on tires, these are worthwhile lessons a parent could lecture a child on. If one has to listen to a parental lecture, better it be about Eddy Merckx and how you are no Eddy Merckx than balancing your checking account. For the rest of us, our parents...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Great tale!  Thanks for sharing. »

I don’t know if its because I see something of myself in them or if it awakens some kind of nurturing instinct, but I always seem to find myself drawn to tragically flawed figures.Layne Staley and Marco Pantani strike me as two halves of the same whole; incredibly talented yet tortured with mortally addictive personalities, both set loose in...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. “It was effortless for him…”  All else aside, watching Il Pirata float uphill was art. »

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the inter...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Good gloves are the key!  Appropriate layers elsewhere and good gloves – I am good to minus 10C. »

We’re an odd bunch, us Cyclists. Shaved legs, scars, tan lines, muscular legs paired to scrawny upper bodies. These things that make us stand out are some of the things I take great pride in. I marvel at my freshly shaved guns and how smooth they feel under my dress clothes when I’m stuck at the office. I’ll stand in front of the...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Minor point first:  …gait… ‘Tis a wonderful thing being a cyclist.  In season, on race days during the week, a colleague and I kit up in the office after work – sometimes surprising the new folks – and ‘clomp’ down the halls to escape the building to r… »

Even though in today’s mountain bike world the bikes are better, the clothing more appropriate, and there are more trails to ride, there’s no denying the early 90s were the Golden Age of Mountain Biking. Just look at these fellas, and tell me I’m wrong.Tomac knew what was up. You don’t get such a badass Rainbow Jersey by ac...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. The classic line:  “How does he sit down with balls that big?”  Heroic Era!! »

I read recently that a number of Pros like to ride the turbo for an hour or so before having breakfast in the morning to jump start the old metabolic system. Which means that now I ride the trainer for an hour in the morning before breakfast. I think the Pros probably do it to lose weight, and I do it partly for that reason but also to burn off th...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Mrs Boltzmann and I continue to put the trainer time in on our >10 yr old LeMond RevMaster – indestructible beast that it is!  Quiet, stout, and will likely outlast us. At what noise level does the Revolution operate? »

One of the finest things about Velominati is it attracts the crazy bastards. Cyclists are slightly unhinged anyway but there are more than a few out there who have no fear. Crazy is not constrained by nationality. Crazy knows no borders. Sure the Randonneurs would do this just to make sure they were happy with their choice of headlamp strap but @ba...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. OUTstanding! And another data point that chocolate croissants and an appropriate fuel for epic Rule #9 undertakings! »

It’s the ride you’ll do the most. The hardest ride you’ll ever do, too. You’ll do it so often that it should be easy, but it never is. Its frequency is such that it really should morph into all the other rides of its ilk, therefore negating the actual nexus of this necessary, evil ride. But it never does, it’s always s...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Excellent.  My FRB after cancer surgery last year was massively cathartic – expunged the cloud of doubt and doom.  If only the fitness had not declined so drastically and swiftly. »

The view from Strahlubnaig.December 21st, 2013, at latitude 56 ½ degrees North, a little before 9am, and of course not fully light yet in this small corner of north west Europe, where the shortest day grudgingly gives us 6h 50m of what can be loosely described as ‘daylight’. Continue reading...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. What better way to celebrate the Winter Solstice!  Great narrative, Strathlubnaig.  Thanks. And, aye, but the daylight period is so much longer now…… »

Rules! Hear me fools: The Rules mark the beginning of the path to enlightenment, not the end. There are higher planes, expanding dimensions. Beyond the color of your bar tape exists a man, a mountain, and a bike. This is where the world begins.Keeper Jim wrote this, reporting on his utilitarian climb of Mount Ventoux. He posts less than the rest of...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. I feel more like I do right now than I did before! »

I have no dog in this fight but @Henrik does. I can’t swim in the serious ‘stache growing gene pool. And yes, it’s already Vajanuary, we left Mo’vember with nary a nod, why, because it’s stupid. Rule #50 could have included having the last name Freuler and wearing the prison stripped Atala kit as the second exception...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Well crafted article Henrik.  Thanks for addressing this critical – to some of us – issue concerning Rule #50. My compliance with Rule #50 has been, well, nonexistent during my adult life.  While the ‘exception’ clause provides for a goatee if one is sleek… »

The first tire patch kit I ever owned came in a big green box, had several patches of various sizes which were possibly made of old truck tires. It also came with a sheet of 60 grit sandpaper. The mild high offered from sniffing the glue while applying the patch almost made you stop caring you’d gotten a flat in the first place. Stoned on glu...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. There is certain elegance in appropriate application of a tool or device outside of its original design intent.  This is one.  May Merckx smile upon you. As a ‘get me home’ tire patch, the PT Patch is the device of choice for me.  But for the long-term t… »

Five is an important number. Assuming nothing has gone amuck in our development or our usage of cutlery, we each boast five digits on both our hands and both our feet. Most of us have five senses. Most miraculously, any number multiplied by five and then divided by five gives you the same number you started with and yields no remainder.The Babaloni...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. The earth’s crust embraces The V. »

Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks? Continue reading...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Sacrilege! But a path to redemption at 103. »

Each of us throw a leg over our top tubes and submit ourselves to the open road in recognition of the risks involved. These risks include those of a puncture, crash, damaged equipment, disability, and – ultimately – death. We try to be vigilant, we ride assertively yet defensively, and we hope for the best. We take every reasonable precaution t...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Saddened by this.  Ride in Peace, Brother. »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Froome 2. Contador 3. Van Garderen 4. Evans 5. Sagan »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Thanks Frank!  Solved the VMH’s quest for my Father’s Day surprise! »

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Bang on!  Develop skill, confidence, and competence.  YJAs are the ‘daytime running lights’ of cycling – soon to make all invisible. »

Somehow Movember and Vajanuary have slipped out of our grasp without too much fanfare. It’s never too late to pay homage to a ‘stash and a rider such as Urs Freuler. Our trusty cycling historian @wiscot has once again stepped up and delivered, many thanks. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. A good read and basis for reconsideration of, or at least an exception with basis to the absolutism of, Rule #50.  Let’s go back to the Golden Age of Cycling when sporting a – wait for it – handlebar moustache was the style.  100 years later we have Urs se… »

I’ve said it once before, but it bears repeating now: adherence to Rule #29 carries with it the ultimate mission of the aspiring Velominatus, which is to geek out endlessly over the minimum amount of gear which yields maximum security in the event of a mechanical incident while riding.The goal here is twofold. First, with no European Poste...

@Boltzmann's posts:

  1. Blackburn minipump tidily stowed with mini tool, tube, patch kit, funds, ID/insurance card, cash, tissue, and reading spectacles (argh!) in Lezyne CaddySack.  Low mass, quiet, easy to stow in jersey center pocket, low waste, simple, and reliable (given re… »