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Velominatus: Ccos

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Little Rhody

Southern expatriate living in New England (happy to be able to buy grits, a bit bummed that can't get decent pork rinds), former collegiate racer in the late 1980's who came back to cycling after a long period of darkness when the diversions of life were all consuming. The ability to brew beer compensates nicely for any character flaws.

@Ccos's activity:

The race of the funny hat.Every team seems to have included one or two riders fresh off the Tour. One would either feel ruined or unbeatable a week after that slug fest, more than likely, ruined. I imagine there are a few riders dodging calls from their directors this week. Continue reading...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. I’m still lobbying for some post tour crit VSP inclusions. The Cycling version of professional wrasslin’. VSP PICKS: 1. Meersman 2. Roche 3. Gilbert 4. Valverde 5. Sagan »

It’s no coincidence that Stage Five of the Tour was not only the best one to watch, or that it helped decide the race before nary a hill was crested, but that it was just, well, Stage Five. Only last minute copyright clearances prevented the organisers actually dubbing it Stage V, though they managed to get the rain delivered on time, an ess...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Awesome. No namby-pamby Elizabeth Kuber-Ross stuff when the V is required. Rides like stage V of the tour are great because when you survive, others challenges appear less so by comparison. »

No technology can increase the energy of the willpower of the rider, nor can it lessen the doubts which sometimes overwhelm him. - Bernard HinaultAs I swung off the main road, I was momentarily consumed by the simple thrill of my tires leaving the hard tarmac and hitting the rough gravel of the unpaved forest road. It was a brief distraction of the...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. @Deakus  Whoa, I’m referring to the book. Otherwise his quote gets real strange when you change the context. »

  2. @frank I can’t recall if it’s a direct quote or nit, but at a minimum it’s paraphrased in “Slaying the Badger.” I suspect he said that a lot . »

  3. @unversio Yep, better than Yoda’s grammar “lonely place a pain cave is.” »

  4. Some riders sure have better willpower/kg ratios than others. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Frank, so are you guys going to do a VSP for the post tour criteriums? I need to salvage some points. »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. @DeKerr The French do have a way of saying things well for the most part. I gave a copy of The Rules to a friend in Quebec and he didn’t fully understand rule #5 all that much. The French equivalent (via a hasty enter web search) was something along th… »

It has been many years (25!) since professional female cyclists have raced on the cobbles of the Champs Elysées. While running the Giro Donne concurrently with the Tour de France makes no sense to me, this Sunday’s women’s race does make sense. It should be the model for a Women’s Tour de France: the route, infrastructure, roadsi...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Just how exactly does one go about being a podium dude? VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Wild 3. Olds 4. Bronzini 5. Armistead »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. @Puffy Looks like something this guy uses. Fuk me. »

  2. @wiscot Yes, true. Two things: 1. Ris is BY FAR the ugliest tour winner in history (by any measure). The jersey therefore is in keeping with that standard and 2. when your hemoglobin is that high (supposedly 64) you get sludging of blood flow in the b… »

  3. @wiscot And Ris’ hemoglobin has got him going so fast, he’s blown the hair clean off his head. »

  4. @BicycleJosh Oh man, me too. Makes for shit pictures that’s for sure. I swear the other guys know the photographer is there and go all cool-looking and what not when the camera is in view and start the wheezing bit when they pass him/her. Now I won’t be… »

Brad Wiggins is sitting at home, watching his team implode at a Tour de France he was not invited to.What’s on his mind? An attempt at the Hour Record, that’s what. Now that the UCI has allowed riders to mount a conventional (track) time trial machine in their efforts and the likes of Boardman, Obree, Moser, Rominger, and Indurain all...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Well thankfully Fignon didn’t take aerodynamics all that seriously at a particular time trial in late 1989. Perhaps that rig was his way of overcompensating. »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. @wiscot Actually it’s a picture from the future of a fat Mark Cavendish and a less fat Bernie Eisel. »

  2. @frank  Yes true, but thanks to  some inter web shenanigans, I was only privy to Doucheboy #1 (on the left) in my initial viewing. Ice cream dude only showed up in my view when I responded. I just hope he’s not staring at Db #1 while doing that. »

  3. @RedRanger About his look, you know this dude’s thinking: “yep, nailed it.” »

  4. Talk about a paradox: white sunglasses while appearing fantastic when worn on the bike, open the door to douchedom off of it. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Merckx, I hope I haven’t just jinxed Nibbles. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Nibali 2. Froome 3. Valverde 4. Porte 5. Roland »

Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending it t...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Historically, cyclists were early adoptors of shorn extremities. Now, I ‘aint no expert, but from what I read (perhaps written by me) the order of shavers goes as follows: cyclists, dance hall girls, prostitues, then everyday women. I suspect we have the … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. @william reichert There are rules against Jackasses, just not dumbasses. That goes without saying. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. Just an observation here. I was watching a certain 4 letter sports network (it was zero dark thirty and I was on the trainer, pre-tour coverage) and noticed the following commercials in heavy rotation: fast food, shit beer, crap small cars and doritos. Th… »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. @Chris And his ball caps, and his pistol shooty gestures and… Agree about Millar and OPQS. Stjin Devolder is worthy of consideration: ample supply of badassness and tree trunks for thighs. »

  2. Were it not for his penchant of wearing those damn scarfie things (and “eating” tainted foodstuffs) Contador would be the man. »

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot, as it was meant to be. Spea...

@Ccos's posts:

  1. “When it comes to Grand Tours, I liken the excitement of the Giro to my birthday, the Tour to Christmas, and the Vuelta to a coworker’s birthday.” Frank, you nailed it with this analogy and thankfully, sometimes those coworker’s birthday parties are pret… »