Velominati › The Community
Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Chris

Order: Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Attendee

Location: The Cambridgeshire Flatlands

Social: Website / /

Errant Velominatus (too many Rule Violations to mention including Rule #33 enforced by @Mrs Chris), lover of the Pavé, Rule #6 and roller sessions. Gruppetto specialist and occasional voiture balai passenger. Firm believer in if not adherent to Rule 12: ° 2011 Cannondale CAAD8 105, ° 2006 Cannondale Prophet, ° ???? Redline Flight Pro - Built up from eBay parts aftet finding that standing around watching the kids ripping up the BMX track gets a bit dull. Scared myself shitless on the track so itgenerally gets used as a run around. Had a 2007 Marin Quake as well but sold that to fund my attendance at KT13 In real life, 43 year old father of three living in Cambridgeshire and working in London.

@Chris's activity:

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@Chris's posts:

  1. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Bollocks. I really to sleep not stay up all night watching it. I’ve got in on record but I’ve missed the first eight minutes. Does 4 have a +1? »

  2. Wiggo’s son. A clue for next year? Makes some sense if he’s got PR aspirations. »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @ron er, I’m going to have to hold my hand up for this one.  I think I might have broken it last night posting a gif thingy. Sorry Frank – I’ll go and do something very painful on the rollers in the morning to atone for it. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Chris's posts:

  1. My VSP pretty much got in the car with Froome yesterday. I can only console myself with the awesomeness of the stage and the photos coming out of it. If you aren’t already aware of the Grubers check out their tumblr and flickr accounts for gems like this… »

  2. There were a lot of strong performances out there but Nibali was in a different league today. To ride away from Sagan and Spartacus towards the end was amazing. As much as I’m not a fan of Froome it was horrible watching him stand at the side of the road… »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @TheDon For truly frightening levels of Phinney go here // »

  2. @Ccos I’m not sure about Bertie, his mid stage bike changes for gearing reasons rather than enforced mechanical issues have always struck me as being not entirely within the spirit of things even if not specific rule violations. @wiscot Totally agree on … »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Chris's posts:

  1. »

  2. @asyax I wasn’t in V-Kit (is it a rule violation to wear cycling kit spectating if one hasn’t ridden to the event?) but I was about 500m from the top of Cote de Oxenhope wearing a Keepers Tour T-Shirt. Had a small boy on my shoulders. »

  3. @the-farmer Don’t tell anyone but I really am a try hard wanker even though the shirt is real. Shame, it would have been good to meet up with a fellow disciple. @the-farmer An imperceptible raise of a single eyebrow lest it be taken as an improper… »

  4. @wiscot Love that, about time someone told them to stop whining and just get on with it. »

  5. @Mikael Liddy Er, no. It’s a V-Orange Road ID. There isn’t a specific rule on the subject but everyone should have one. »

  6. Bit of viseo from Saturday and Sunday You’ll have to forgive the lack of editing, I’m still trying to work out why my phone doesn’t need to be plugged into the wall. »

  7. @Harminator Strong, strong work. Great write up. It takes me straight back. Great photo, too. Selfie? »

  8. Yorkshire rocked. The weather was outstanding, the set up was near faultless and the people were amazing. We watched the first few hours of stage 1 on the big screen in the fan park before heading down the route to find a vantage point. Eventually found … »

  9. Early start tomorrow to be in Harrogate for the day. Keep an eye out for Keepers Tour V-Shirts VSP PICKS: 1. Froome 2. Bertie 3. Talansky 4. J Rod 5. Yates »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@Chris's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Emma pooley 2. Marianne Vos 3. Emma Johansson 4. Evelyn Stevens 5. Elisa Longo-Borghini »

The Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the race in question by the time the countdown clock goes to zero...

@Chris's posts:

  1. Fuck. The peloton has lost it’s cool. Millar been dropped by his own team! You would have thought that you you’d get wield a bit of power when you’re a part owner of the team No Dowsett either. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Fausto Crapiz It would seem that @ChrisO is right. You are indeed slower than we feared. »

  2. @Matthew Bennett Of course it’s all about the bike. Without the bike there is nothing. Just read it again and ask yourself “Could ‘i just cycle till i can’t cycle anymore then i cycle back’ without the bike?” The rule doesn’t say anything about what bike … »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Chris's posts:

  1. Sunday morning velominipper time. Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

Chamois leather used in cycling shorts looked like this only once, before the first washing. After that one had to slather cream onto it to attempt to restore it to its former soft smoothness, which was impossible. I have written a reverence article on chamois cream and I vowed then to never google “saddle sore images” again, hence a b...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @VeloJello Did you get the Lantern Rouge for shit VSP picks or shit jokes? »

  2. @VeloJello As can a volcanic proportioned about to erupt abcess/cyst »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Geraint Great stuff and congratulations on the 2nd place. Not sure that it really matters where you put this sort of stuff as long as you put it somewhere. »