Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Chris

Order: Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Attendee

Location: The Cambridgeshire Flatlands

Social: Website / /

Errant Velominatus (too many Rule Violations to mention including Rule #33 enforced by @Mrs Chris), lover of the Pavé, Rule #6 and roller sessions. Gruppetto specialist and occasional voiture balai passenger. Firm believer in if not adherent to Rule 12: ° 2011 Cannondale CAAD8 105, ° 2006 Cannondale Prophet, ° ???? Redline Flight Pro - Built up from eBay parts aftet finding that standing around watching the kids ripping up the BMX track gets a bit dull. Scared myself shitless on the track so itgenerally gets used as a run around. Had a 2007 Marin Quake as well but sold that to fund my attendance at KT13 In real life, 43 year old father of three living in Cambridgeshire and working in London.

@Chris's activity:

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @cyclebrarian You were doing so well until you got to the bit about your mum still making you wear an underhsirt under your dress shirt. Does she still iron your underwear? My grandad was a bricklayer »

  2. @Marko I can certainly see the point of a cross big on a muddy Roubaix but I’m not sure it’d be right and might best be left as something the Pros do like frame pumps and EPMSs. I know that if I do a muddy Roubaix it’ll be on a road bike on Vittoria P… »

  3. @ChrisO Pajamas were also banned from Tescos a couple of years ago. I blame Minion, Marcus and their ilk for the introduction of Ugg boots. It all went downhill from there. »

  4. @Marko This is all true but where do the keepers stand on the use of graveurs/cross bikes on rides that stick to paved surfaces and pave? Especially when ridden by someone who should no better having ridden their road bikes across the pave of northern … »

  5. @ChrisO By the time I’ve watched the live footage, highlights and rewound the crashes I must have watched at least 20,000km a year. I really can’t see how I could fit in more time actually riding. The thing that amuses me the most, whether it’s on club r… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @VeloSix Strong work. Sounds like a blast but a shame that the organisational efforts left you struggling at the death. What position did the wheel sucker get? Next time you might be a little more cautious about someone you’ve just dragged clear of the p… »

I’m old as dirt. My first two race bikes employed toe clips and toe straps and that set-up was bad. For many reasons it was bad and any retro-hipster who thinks otherwise is wrong. When Lemond and Hinault started racing on the white Look clipless pedals, everyone but Sean Kelly quickly switched. Talk about a quantum improvement, it was long o...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @andrew Those have been around for a few years. As far as I know they were a Speedplay produced team only special but they’ve recently announced that they’ll be making them available to the public. Outside of PR conditions, I’m not sure what they’d offer… »

It’s no secret that I’m prone to riding in the big ring as much as possible, mostly on account of my not being a giant sissy. In accordance with the ISO Non-Sissy Standard, I also never read instruction manuals or ask for directions when lost. I make sure to only rarely ask my VMH to turn up the radio when Adele comes on, usually follo...

@Chris's posts:

  1. I’ve got 3T Ergonova on at the moment with the hoods set very flat. There isn’t alot of choice of position; tops, hoods, forward in the drops for breaking and shifting and right on the cuff links. I’ve got some Rotundo waiting to go on with the next cable… »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @wiscot 150mm according to roadcyclinguk.com. I think I remember seeing that the latest incarnation of the ARX only has one bolt (and isn’t available in carbon yet). »

  2. Bit of Paris Roubaix related stem porn for @frank. Dave Millar’s bike: Couldn’t find a matching seat post of epic proportions, sorry. »

  3. VSP PICKS: 1. Cancellara 2. Stybar 3. Thomas 4. Vanmarcke 5. Gaudin D »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy It’s an septic site so I suspect there’s a whacking great sarcasm filter coded in to protect the locals. It appears to be operating in both directions. »

  2. @Mikael Liddy Cobbles? You Aussies are soft shites. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @unversio Second from the right. You don’t need to agree with my earlier observation though. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Mike_P Best not mention the skewers then. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Chris's posts:

  1. KT13 »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Barracuda Does failing to comply with one rule cancel out any benefits of complying with another? (Unless of course that is a spare tubular) »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @unversio Damn I look fat in that! That brings back fantastic memories as did watching the Ronde on Sunday and recognising the official V-Viewing area on the Kwaremont. My daughter had a friend over to stay the other night and I was discussing when she… »

One of greatest cycling pleasures is riding with a mate. Riding ten centimeters off each other’s rear wheel for hours; trust is a beautiful thing. You swing over, ease your effort slightly so your mate rides through, you then tuck behind, in the draft, close and fast. It is the best. @Kah touches on this and other transcendent benefits from...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @max columbus You can do it but it takes a bit of digging. I guess they’ve set it up that way to prevent people taking photos that aren’t theirs. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. Are Specialized trying a different tactic in it’s attempt to control the Roubaix name? Will their collaboration with FMB result in a buy out? »

The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinnin...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Surely it’s a bit like the saying that if you have to step down from your boat into your life raft it’s too early to be abandoning ship. Obviously, if you are going to go down with your bike you should ensure that your body that breaks the… »

I had always imagined that de Ronde van Vlaanderen must be hardest race in the world. The way I worked it out – having never ridden the course of either event at the time – was that de Ronde had the same cobbles as Roubaix, but with 20% grades thrown in. It makes enough sense so long as you don’t know what you’re talking abo...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Pedale.Forchetta Absolutely. If you want to dabble in photo molestation, keep it to Instagram. »

  2. @dissolved Strong work. Sounds like an amazing experience that you’ll remember for a long time. I suspect that the Ronde is a bit like PR in that nothing you do prior to it will really prepare you for the cobbles which means that you’ll soon start thinki… »

We reflect on another year of cycling; who has been naughty and who has been nice. The rusty chain award used to go to the biggest tool of the year but that has been folded into The Anti-V award. In years past the rusty chain award usually went to the present day dopers. Multi-year winners like Danilo “triple threat” Di Luca would now be eligib...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Geraint The Big S certainly hasn’t changed it’s spots. Some earlier thoughts on the subject can be found in the Bikes Section. »

Here stands a man. A quiet man. A hard working man. A Belgian man. A man from a life of grit, cold, and rain.Here stands a man who has chosen a life of hard work and sacrifice; a hard life even within the context of Cycling. A man who spends long hours in the wind and in the rain, in the service of his team. A man who despite those long hours in...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @wiscot Absolutely, but you forget that our Supreme Leader has shown us the path and this is not it. »