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Velominatus: Chris

Order: Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Attendee

Location: The Cambridgeshire Flatlands

Social: Website / /

Errant Velominatus (too many Rule Violations to mention including Rule #33 enforced by @Mrs Chris), lover of the Pavé, Rule #6 and roller sessions. Gruppetto specialist and occasional voiture balai passenger. Firm believer in if not adherent to Rule 12: ° 2011 Cannondale CAAD8 105, ° 2006 Cannondale Prophet, ° ???? Redline Flight Pro - Built up from eBay parts aftet finding that standing around watching the kids ripping up the BMX track gets a bit dull. Scared myself shitless on the track so itgenerally gets used as a run around. Had a 2007 Marin Quake as well but sold that to fund my attendance at KT13 In real life, 43 year old father of three living in Cambridgeshire and working in London.

@Chris's activity:

I’ve lost a lot of things that were, at some point or another, dear to me. At times, I’ve even cast them away deliberately, either because of a nurtured indifference or an irrational or impulsive dislike. Regret is an easy emotion to find in reflection, it lays right at the surface and provides us with a quick answer without requiring...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @unversio Strong work, one to remember for a long time. I love the idea of a straight block but baulk at paying Dura Ace prices. One for the next bike. »

April 2015 // Lille, France The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride. Continue...

@Chris's posts:

  1. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


  2. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


  3. April 2015 // Lille, France 

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics will be back in 2015 and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. Details and booking information will be announced in the coming days.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 03, 2015 - April 13, 2015
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Location
    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


I love wine. I mean, I like beer and scotch and can’t resist ordering a Vesper whenever I pretend to be a gentleman spy, but I love wine. As a semi-professional drinker, the biggest worry I have is that should my as-yet undiagnosed problem with alcohol become a diagnosed problem with alcohol, I’d have to stop drinking wine. A full...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Lets not get too technical! The mental picture I had from the original post was commuting in the dark. »

  2. @Nate mmm… Gigondas I like a lot although I prefer Bordeaux or Madiran. I’m also rather enjoying a bit of this at the moment (and not just for the label – the producer, Some Young Punks, has a bunch of great labels) »

  3. @RobSandy Possibly none apart from crashing skills. The more you crash the better you crash. »

  4. @frank That’s where I was going with the comment about letting your elbows and knees filter out the vibrations but you’re right its more than that. It’s sometimes about only maintaining the minimum contact with the bike to be able to change direction a… »

The Velominati have our own set of nicknames and terms which have developed over time through posts and correspondence. Some of these are names of landmarks or terms in cycling; others are nicknames for some of the riders in the pro peloton. While not intended to be offensive or derogatory, the nicknames in the list represent the riders’ p...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @the Engine Har Das Awesome. »

I love wine. I mean, I like beer and scotch and can’t resist ordering a Vesper whenever I pretend to be a gentleman spy, but I love wine. As a semi-professional drinker, the biggest worry I have is that should my as-yet undiagnosed problem with alcohol become a diagnosed problem with alcohol, I’d have to stop drinking wine. A full...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @frank Learn to ride as though seated but floating just above the saddle allowing the bike flow and follow the terrain whilst your knees and elbows filter out the jarring vibrations that would loosen eyeballs and teeth. »

If Rouler does not do reviews, we don’t do reviews. Think of this as a commentary on Bont’s Vaypor+ road shoe. Any discussion of points-of-contact will generate a storm of comments ending in why Sidi shoes and fi'zi:k saddles are the best. They may be the best for you but not for me. Everyone’s feet and everyone’s butt has d...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Beers The were periods where all the contact points hurt but not consistently. It was only the shoes that were a cause for concern. The saddle is a carbon braided fi'zi:k Antares and amazingly it was fine all the way to the end at 350km, a little bit chaf… »

Doing things the hard way is a luxury. It says to the world that we’ve beat evolution; intelligence is no match for technology and economy is no match for indulgence. We need only step a bit outside our bubble to realize the scale of the illusion, but nevertheless it has become reality for many of us who live our lives happily and fortuna...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @ChrisO »

If Rouler does not do reviews, we don’t do reviews. Think of this as a commentary on Bont’s Vaypor+ road shoe. Any discussion of points-of-contact will generate a storm of comments ending in why Sidi shoes and fi'zi:k saddles are the best. They may be the best for you but not for me. Everyone’s feet and everyone’s butt has d...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Chris Or if money was no option there’s the custom programme for a nice subtle orange and black »

  2. @Gianni Nice commentary. I’ve got wide feet with a freakishly high instep so the Vaypor + looks like a good bet for my next pair. My current Fiziks are great but aren’t quite right beyond 300km. (Massive improvement on my the Shimanos that preceded them … »

Life is full of surprises. Some you don’t want, like a funnel web in a shoe, while others are completely unexpected but more than welcome, even if you are then left with figuring out the hows, whys and HOW?s of the serendipitous conundrum now presented to you.This is how I now feel, after fate knocked at my door via a source that doesn’...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @frank @brett I wondered when it might happen; could this be remembered as the great V-Schism? @brett No. Black and orange carries the day… »

I’m getting too old and cranky for all this race schedule changing. I know they already did this last year and presumably I had the same gripings then, but Lombardia is supposed to close out the season and I’m downright angry that Paris-Tours is closing out the books now; it only seems right that one of the most beautiful races should...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Steampunk We might see a resurgence in Frank’s Dirty Schleck Love. The elder Schleck came in a full 9 minutes ahead of the new world champion, 24th at 42 seconds (when I initially scanned the results my brain took that on previous form and put him at … »

  2. @frank Great finish but you only really get an idea of how hard he went off the back of the group from the overhead shot. »

  3. Missed all bar the last few km today. Too busy driving a support car to a race organised by my local club. Apparently my car is not British Cycling compliant for support vehicles. Race radio was pretty cool. Going to jack in working and be a DS now…… »

Happy living in our stressful lives is all about organization. For instance, I like to sort the tasks first by priority and then group tasks of equal priority into buckets of minor priorities. Software developers creatively call this approach to organization a “bucket sort”. This helps break down what appears to be an insurmountable me...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @frank »

This article started off as a Reverence for the Camelbak Podium, and might still be, who knows, it’s late and my mind is scrambled. As often happens when searching for a suitable image for an article, tangents often appear from nowhere and derail the original train of thought. Soon one finds oneself careening out of control towards the only...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @wiscot Not to mention that their choice of gearing is so out of whack they couldn’t possibly need hydration. »

  2. @unversio Agreed but only the red coke version. Slightly off topic but does Rule #52 apply to gravelling? »

You can only spend so much time with the Schlecks before you start talking like them, and the fabulous Fabs seems to have crossed the threshold. I’ve heard more complaining from him this season than I have talk about pushing harder on the pedals or going steady up with more speed or going full gas like everyone else, but just doing it for ...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @ChrisO I suspect my name is already on file from when I broke the internet a few months back by posting a .gif thingy of infinite shifting mini phinneys. Jokes aside, I really, really, really would like some new V-Kit. I may not be able to ride with … »

  2. @frank Really? Will it be available in shops to buy or will there be Eastern Europe style queues and empty shelves? »

I was asking earlier, how do you know if you are a cyclist? One sure sign is when one brings a bike on almost all vacations. If a vacation does not include some cycling, is it a vacation? If you asks that, you are a cyclist. Hopefully this has been a long-term condition and all other vacationeers accept this with a shrug, yeah, a damn Velominatus.V...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @ChrisO I also struggle with the idea of holidays without the bike (a holiday without the bike is a wasted oportunity. Fortunately, the kids are all shaping up nicely as cyclists and don’t mind that it might take a bit longer to get wherever we’re going b… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy The Gold Coast; where cyclists are clearly nothing more than triathletes who can’t swim. »