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Velominatus: Chris

Order: Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Attendee

Location: The Cambridgeshire Flatlands

Social: Website / /

Errant Velominatus (too many Rule Violations to mention including Rule #33 enforced by @Mrs Chris), lover of the Pavé, Rule #6 and roller sessions. Gruppetto specialist and occasional voiture balai passenger. Firm believer in if not adherent to Rule 12: ° 2011 Cannondale CAAD8 105, ° 2006 Cannondale Prophet, ° ???? Redline Flight Pro - Built up from eBay parts aftet finding that standing around watching the kids ripping up the BMX track gets a bit dull. Scared myself shitless on the track so itgenerally gets used as a run around. Had a 2007 Marin Quake as well but sold that to fund my attendance at KT13 In real life, 43 year old father of three living in Cambridgeshire and working in London.

@Chris's activity:

Did everyone got tired of seeing a nearly naked Marcel Kittel on the massage table for the Tour’s VSP page? I know I didn’t. Young Kennaugh will be sporting his British road race jersey and his proper shoe/sock pairing in this Vuelta. Get used to it. Ladies and gentleman we have a race. We have some Giro winners, we have some Tour...

@Chris's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps): 1. Derty Berty 2. Froome 3. Valverde 4. Aru 5. J Rod »

Summer is a time for getting fat. Winter is a time for getting fat as well, but in a different way; in Winter we get fat on meals of meat and potatoes covered in sauces made of meat and potatoes. In Summer, on the other hand, our minds get fat: we get nice tans, we tone our muscles, long days see us riding at any hour of the day that suits us. W...

@Chris's posts:

  1. I started as the dark began to lose it’s grip yesterday. As we climbed out of Manchester, the dawn revealed nothing but mist which slowly burnt off into a beautifully hot late summer’s day. Later the shadows lengthened, the light became richer and a huge … »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Chris's posts:

  1. Yesterdays ride. I’ll put together a ride report and the results of the fund raising but everything hurts too much at the moment. http://www.strava.com/activities/191566883#kudos »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Nate Cannondale Hollowgram SI. Stiff as fuck and the spider is removable so you can switch between a compact for grovelling in the mountains or standard for crushing the pave. The black versions look better but they were an ebay bargain I couldn’t turn … »

  2. It’s not been posted for a long time and it’s changed a bit – new bars (Rotundos in for Ergonovas), brakes (Ultegra for Tektros) and wheels (Ultegra just coz I felt like it). Slightly odd location but I was bored waiting for a train on the way to Manches… »

  3. @Nate Photoshopped. And the fat lady is about to disqualify him for crossing the line and daring to appear in public in that kit. »

There was never any question in my mind that tubulars are more romantic than clinchers, and as a Velominatus I was always convinced that the additional time and care that goes into gluing on a set of tires would make you feel just that much more connected to your bike and the history of the sport itself. I was skeptical, however, that tubs would ri...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @MangoDave No. Does that tick the more opinionated box? @frank There was some fairly hard packed gravel on the Monsal Trail section of yesterday’s Manchester to London ride. 27mm Open Paves dealt with it as easily as they did with the really shitt… »

I have met @chris on the original Keepers Tour. He seemed like a reasonable person at the time. Then again, @rob passes himself off  as a rational person yet he signed up for the Too Much on 100 ride and completed it. People sign up for these crazy rides because it forces them to get in the best shape possible. It makes these long rides more enjoy...

@Chris's posts:

  1. If anyone is interested the jersey is still up for grabs: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Signed-Official-2013-Team-Garmin-Sharp-Jersey-Autographed-by-the-2013-Team-/131285079892?pt=UK_Sports_Memorabilia_ET&hash=item1e91335754 »

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Stage Cogal – now there’s a thought. That said I might be keeping my multi day, overseas options open in case there is KT15. »

  2. @Teocalli Damn, I was hoping you’d turn up in V-Kit and do a quick ton on my bike whilst I had a snooze in the back of your wife’s car. Or at the very least you’d tow me for bit. Enjoy your Imperial (proper) ton on Sunday.   we should set up a spring co… »

I have met @chris on the original Keepers Tour. He seemed like a reasonable person at the time. Then again, @rob passes himself off  as a rational person yet he signed up for the Too Much on 100 ride and completed it. People sign up for these crazy rides because it forces them to get in the best shape possible. It makes these long rides more enjoy...

@Chris's posts:

  1. This now seems rather alarmingly real and imminent! The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a mixed bag training wise. I was on holiday with the family, a week in Devon and a week in France down near Perpignan. Devon was ridiculously steep – two of th… »

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@Chris's posts:

  1. I’m so very sorry but… …I just couldn’t help myself. »

  2. @Teocalli Looking good there mate! I trust you’re going to turn up like that on Sunday! »

  3. @Optimiste I’ve got a Cervelo Test Team kit from the days before I found the one true path. In terms of quality, fit  and comfort it’s probably one of the best I’ve got but for all of the reasons above it will only ever get ridden on the rollers in the… »

  4. @JCM Peter Kennaugh is indeed the current British champion. From memory he was recently awarded an MBE by @Gianni for excellence in field of fabulous shoes and socks. Assuming he’s on the way to the Vuelta team presentations or a stage sign on, those s… »

I have met @chris on the original Keepers Tour. He seemed like a reasonable person at the time. Then again, @rob passes himself off  as a rational person yet he signed up for the Too Much on 100 ride and completed it. People sign up for these crazy rides because it forces them to get in the best shape possible. It makes these long rides more enjoy...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Optimiste There will be a follow up guest article describing just how horrible it was and how much I suffered. @cal I’m on holiday in Devon at the moment. Loads of hills (it’s all hills) but I’m afraid there has also been some big nights on the vino. … »

  2. @Optimiste It’s long been a favourite. It’s actually a depiction of Paris Roubaix but seemed to fit the Grim Up North cliché so I trimmed it to lose the Rourbaix sign post. »

  3. @everyone who’ve donated on the just giving page; thank you so much. I’m stunned that people I’ve never met and people whose names I don’t recognise from here have been so generous. Thank You. »

  4. @Teocalli We’re setting of at dawn. Rapha have just posted the following with regards to feed stations but it gives a bit of an indication about timing: Many of you have been asking for information about the feed stations so here is a basic overview for … »

  5. @harminator, @Steve Steveson Those are both great stories and fantastic insight into what it can be like to live with autism/aspergers. It’s so important for people to realise that for a lot of people with it, things that we take for granted are so much m… »

  6. @Bespoke The second weekend in September is going to be epic. Trust me »

  7. @Teocalli As far as I know there are no rules about getting “outside assistance”. The organisers plan is that people will ride in groups but how it will pan out, I’ve no idea. Any support, whether a wheel to follow, cheerleader squads or beer hand ups wo… »

  8. @MangoDave I might be biased but that get the award for best first post ever. Welcome to LVV. »

  9. Somewhere along the line the link to the jersey on ebay seems to have gone missing. That or I didn’t stick it in to start with. It’s here »

  10. @Ccos I’m so way out beyond fucked. Still I’ve got two weeks holiday starting tomorrow, Devon and the coaast by the southern end of the Pyrenees to get stuck into some decent cream teas and gallons of vin roug… …er no, sorry get some serious miles in…. »