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Velominatus: Chris

Order: Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Attendee

Location: The Cambridgeshire Flatlands

Social: Website / /

Errant Velominatus (too many Rule Violations to mention including Rule #33 enforced by @Mrs Chris), lover of the Pavé, Rule #6 and roller sessions. Gruppetto specialist and occasional voiture balai passenger. Firm believer in if not adherent to Rule 12: ° 2011 Cannondale CAAD8 105, ° 2006 Cannondale Prophet, ° ???? Redline Flight Pro - Built up from eBay parts aftet finding that standing around watching the kids ripping up the BMX track gets a bit dull. Scared myself shitless on the track so itgenerally gets used as a run around. Had a 2007 Marin Quake as well but sold that to fund my attendance at KT13 In real life, 43 year old father of three living in Cambridgeshire and working in London.

@Chris's activity:

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Rob Hopefully @ChrisO will have appreciated that. If not, strong work, it sounds tough. Have a great day today. »

  2. @ChrisO Nice helmet… »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Chris's posts:

  1. How the fuck did we miss this one? »

We want to look like Pros, sure, but what we’re really after is feeling Pro. All the aesthetics are just a tool we use to fuel the fickle internal combustion engine of Morale. In the end, there is little that will make you feel Pro more than clattering along a stretch of cobbles in a small group; instant “select breakaway”. One...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Gianni Alex may well have done it on a penny-farthing and a hundred year old fixie but I also remember William saying that Alex’s legs scare him. »

We just finished a thorough examination of the Cyclist’s marquee accoutrement, the Cycling Cap. Today’s lesson is about the Cycling Cap’s red-headed step brother, the Winter Cycling Cap.This is a toque born of necessity; the thin cotton cap is nowhere near warm enough for the demands of the Flemish winter training season. Form s...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Ron Have you got your virtual holiday bush up already? »

  2. @Gianni That’s dangerously close to being a spark for a new helmet discussion. »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@Chris's posts:

  1. A must have for the cyclocross season »

ChrisO is back with another installment of Suffering in the Desert. Enjoy. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Looking forward to hearing all about it. Have a great time. Will the 7-Eleven team be appropriately kitted out? »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Chris's posts:

  1. And this one to keep the Paris Roubaix stoke going »

  2. @Harminator More Peugeot casquette goodness from Mr Tom. »

We want to look like Pros, sure, but what we’re really after is feeling Pro. All the aesthetics are just a tool we use to fuel the fickle internal combustion engine of Morale. In the end, there is little that will make you feel Pro more than clattering along a stretch of cobbles in a small group; instant “select breakaway”. One...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @ChrisO I’m up for this as well. I’ve just emailed you on the subject. »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @frank wtf? BTW what’s happened to the plus sign as in N plus 1? »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @teleguy57 Hmm. Not something I’ve ever been guilty of. @Haldy In Word Excel etc you can hit CTRL ‘ then e but it doesn’t seem to work here so I tend to copy someone else’s.   »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @frank Oh happy days. Productivity went out of the window that week. »

  2. On the bike, yes. Off the bike, caps (or any other cycling kit for that matter) are wrong. »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Haldy These people need to have it explained to them that in this case the green is not a colour but a statement of intent and on the basis that it’s not a colour it can’t possibly clash with their bike. It should also be explained that as this is a … »

  2. @Buck Rogers Perhaps your photos lack an appropriate degree of avvesomeness. »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@Chris's posts:

  1. Buck, for you… »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I’d love to be able to claim them as my own but taking photos whilst riding generally ends in tears or pictures of my thumbs. They’re Brett’s. »

  2. @frank and all done in this accent No self respecting Brit would use the word “sidewalk”. »

  3. @frank And temperature. My Vittorias sound so much sweeter when there’s a bit of frost about. The first time I really noticed how beautiful tubulars sound was on the Sunday after riding PR on KT13. A fucking freezing ride through the silence of dawn b… »

La Vie Velominatus. It is the life we, as Velominati, lead. It is life as a disciple of cycling, of the greater meaning the bike holds and the lessons it teaches us. Along the path, one of our great duties is the wholesale consumption of the great Works related to our sport. From periodicals to books to films, herin lies the list of works conside...

@Chris's posts:

  1. A bit of weirdness involving Wiggo and the Skybots »

I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish thing to claim to be. What is true, however, is that Batman is pretty cool and it would probably be pretty cool to be a cool dude like Batman. It bears mentioning, however, that I have never been see...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @Beers Mr Black Jacket is doing a whole load more than having a sex wee, he’s got his hands full and his game face on. @wiscot I doubt you’d go for just one beer with Freddy. »

  2. @frank Apart from the Worlds incident I’d always had Freddy down as the good guy but De Vlaeminck could have been the biggest cunt around and it wouldn’t matter. He had too much style on and off the bike to be anything other than the hero. Just … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Chris's posts:

  1. @markb Possibly the rule should be amended to say that of course a bike should be turned upside down if maintenance or cleaning dictates but under no circumstances should it be rest on the ground whilst doing so. A bike can be safely inverted for such … »