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Velominatus: ChrisO

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Abu Dhabi

Social: /

An Aussie, transplanted to Britain and living in Abu Dhabi and now Dubai. One wife, two cats, three kids and four bikes. The wife and kids live in London, the bikes live with me, mostly. I'm a TV person - originally journalism, then consultancy and project management and now in audience research and ratings. On average I ride 10,000+km each year. I love club and group riding and have got more into racing, especially stage races and events. In the past I've done a bit of audax too. I have a Ridley Noah, a custom-built steel Roberts, a Colnago Master and a Pearson fixie.

@ChrisO's activity:

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @Teocalli So, any other takers on this? Long range forecast is that only Saturday looks bad… so maybe Sunday Box Hill? Or Monday/Tuesday – all good. New Years’ Day might be out of the running but only because I think Mrs ChrisO is inviting the family… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @unversio If I was commuting I would definitely use a camera but for my sort of riding it isn’t a high priority. The most likely cause of injury for me is another cyclist in a group ride or race. The drivers here are crazy but not deliberate cunts like … »

  2. @markb Ouch – glad you’re OK. Nobody got any details? It does make one think about the advantages of riding around with a camera attached. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @SamFromTex @wiscot Indeed – if my wife started reading the Daily Mail I would seriously question my relationship. I’m not joking. Happily there’s more chance of Princess Diana being resurrected by an illegal Romanian immigrant cyclist with 8 children b… »

  2. @GogglesPizano He is quite some distance away from being the worst thing you’ll see on two wheels in Surrey. If he fits on the spectrum at “Give Guidance” then one would end up carrying a taser to simply stun the  masses with violations too numerous to c… »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Yes, for sure – as long as the weather is not biblical. It’s 15 C here and we’re riding in gloves, arm-warmers, baselayers, shoe covers and on a light ride a gilet as well. My blood has become reptilian. »

@Blackpooltower is obviously spending all his n+1 money on new cycling books, or he works in the little seen cycling-specific bookshop. Either way, he is nice enough to catch us all up on what is vvorthy. The lead image alone is enough, it’s fantastic. It’s worthy of its own article or, even better, a movie. It is not too late for hint...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. Good selection, and I will add Legends of the Tour to my list. Sounds like one for hard copy not Kindle. Faster would be my cycling book of the year, because Hutch writes so well and really brings to life a very nerdy and obscure segment of cycling in a … »

The darker months bring out the macabre in each of us; for Gianni it was the extinction of his beloved Park Tool adjustable clamp. For me, I found myself mourning the fact that I recently purchased a headset press. Ignoring the fact that a Velominatus of my stature didn’t already own one, the mourn behind the mourn is where the interest lies...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @frank Ah, well there is a bright side. In response to his taunts about the inner-cleanliness of my bike I now drop it down to the workshop most weeks and have them do it. »

  2. Being more mechanical about my bikes is something I would love to do, but never quite seem to manage. Bottom brackets are on a similar level of mystery to me as lady-parts were to my 12-year-old pre-internet self. The subject of much speculation and will… »

Waiting has never been my strong point. I’m anxious, but don’t really suffer from anxiety. Good things come to those who wait isn’t at the top of my list of proverbs to live by. Do What Thou Wilt always has been, though; kind of a Just Do It for early 20th century Satanists, and me.It was with this mantra in the back of my mind th...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @brett Nah, stick with yours. Those gunmetal and titanium colours are a bit dull  – doesn’t do it for me. »

White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not to spill on the front of it, the cuffs and collar will look crap by the end of the day regardless. I mean, I can keep from eating something all day, but I can’t keep from drinking coffee or wine, and before very long som...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @SamFromTex Tend to agree – if Chinese factories copy their clients’ frames that’s an issue for their relationship. But in regard to the legality of it there is some relevance. First that Frank sells V-decals but DragoRosso was so impressed with this… »

  2. @DragoRosso I would call it fake. Copying trademarks and brand names like Veloforma and the Velominati emblem, is not the same as putting panels over a car chassis to make it look different. I’ll give you one thing, you’ve got balls of brass to come o… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. So, for all my doubts about bike fitting this was too good to pass up… an appointment with the guy who does Orica, Garmin, Giant-Shimano and others and is about to start doing Sky. Apparently the reason he is starting with Sky is that Richie Porte came… »

  2. @SamFromTex @cognition It was sort of a joke that my flatmate and I had, because my bedroom has this sort of arch over the bed – see below. The idea was that when my wife came out to visit I should put the bike there as a shrine. She probably would have … »

  3. I think you forgot to add “IMHO”. I think you’ll find that for all the retro-chic and Rules around here we tend to be polite about bikes. Personally I think what you can do on it is more important – there are no fast chariots, only fast horses. Alth… »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @Beers Interesting on the LCHF – that was sort of the approach I was taking although I wasn’t following a programme, just things I had picked up, some of it from IronMan triathletes. I figured that the sort of stuff they were doing to get through a 12 hou… »

  2. @harminator Yep, no doubt about the numbers. Much of the time I was up at 370-390, and I know what it feels like. The wind was some of the worst I’ve ever been out in, short of a full-on shamal. It’s an excellent question about re-evaluating. I’m not … »

  3. @Chris Yes, well my ambitions were to survive, and the frustrating thing is that if I’d sat in I know I would still be lining up tomorrow. Apparently after the climb it all calmed down and everyone finished within about 10 mins of the leaders. C’est la … »

  4. Another box ticked in my pro-cycling career – mid stage abandon and climb into the car. Towards the first big climb we were hit by some of the worst crosswinds I’ve ever been out in. Really huge gusts that pushed us sideways. The fight for the gutter was… »

  5. Ha well actually it IS a nice helmet – not that I’m a connoisseur of course – but it’s the new Giro Synthe. Team issue (I.e. Free) . Very good fit, nice and light and pretty cool. So, stage two done. First hour was one of the easiest I’ve had at Sharjah…. »

  6. OK so Day 1 over. I was really shitting myself going into it, so I’m really relieved I got through OK. A really big group – at least 120 riders, maybe more. And some bloody good teams. Sky Dive Dubai, a Continental team with a big budget and several gran… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. Rule #11 or what… race tomorrow, and will be in the hotel with no wifi, so a last-night Skype call to my wife. Now I love her dearly and lord knows I am grateful for her indulgence of my cycling but she’s no sports psychologist, that’s for sure. Not onl… »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. @tessar @TommyTubolare So what do you guys think of helmets? … and nipple lube. Seriously, it’s good to see some informed debate, thanks. And perhaps an appropriate place to mark the passing of Steve Hed. RIP. Someone who can genuinely and productiv… »

Going fast and looking good while doing it is our Velominati creed. Riding on the tops is the domaine of going uphill, where braking and aerodynamics are unimportant. In most other situations that position is too slow. The pros are usually flattened down in the drops or flattened down on the brake hoods. When us non-pros are not climbing, riding on...

@ChrisO's posts:

  1. And yes, good plug for Herne Hill. Olympic Velodrome in 1948 and for a long time the only track in the capital, where Brad Wiggins and others made their breakthroughs. The Good Friday races at Herne Hill are a great annual event. They had to be cancelle… »

  2. @markb Where exactly are you that HH is local? My London home is Tooting, and I ride with Dulwich when I’m there. I’ve been to those track nights for road bikes. was OK the few times I did it. My daughter is doing track cycling now at HH with her schoo… »