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Velominatus: DeKerr

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Fond memories of canti's and rigid forks from the early mountain bike days. Now training in earnest as a Pedalwan.

@DeKerr's activity:

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @VeloSix Agreed. And kit looks fabulous in 1 of 3 places… On the bike On the podium In the cafe/bar immediately before or after the Ride (but for no longer than it takes to consume 1 doppio macchiato pre or 1 ale post) Avoiding wearing it during a… »

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sush...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Tarkin looks like he’s just coming in to form for the Vuelta. »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @KingOfCrank I believe Rule #26 and Rule #78 address your valid concerns regarding Dork Discs without explicit reference to the abomination in question. Also, they should always be referred to as Dork Discs as this is the most derisive term and therefore… »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sush...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. “Yes, excellent” – Mr. Burns »

Did everyone got tired of seeing a nearly naked Marcel Kittel on the massage table for the Tour’s VSP page? I know I didn’t. Young Kennaugh will be sporting his British road race jersey and his proper shoe/sock pairing in this Vuelta. Get used to it. Ladies and gentleman we have a race. We have some Giro winners, we have some Tour...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Fuck Froome. VSP PICKS: 1. Quintana 2. Contador 3. Uran 4. Valverde 5. Martin, Tony »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Cogals (pronounce it correctly: kog-al) are meetings of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Cogals are free, open to all, organized by our fellow Velominati and are always followed by consumption of post-ride Recovery Ales and merriment. These are gatherings of unbridled observance of Rule #4...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Just last weekend I headed out for the local “Triple Crown” route. Although the route was considerably modified to start from my front door and include summits on both Mt. Fromme and Grouse Mountain. By the time I made it home Strava told me I had done 30… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Pickles Johnson Rule #1… and in your specific case Rules #19 and #43 »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Puffy I hear ya. The guns have been impacting on the engine room with the drop in altitude but that just forces me to better focus on my Magnificent Stroke (currently not-so-magnificent and wont to turn into a square-pedaling pistonfest if I’m not paying… »

The race of the funny hat.Every team seems to have included one or two riders fresh off the Tour. One would either feel ruined or unbeatable a week after that slug fest, more than likely, ruined. I imagine there are a few riders dodging calls from their directors this week. Continue reading...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Stybar 2. Sagan 3. Gallopin 4. Van Garderen 5. Van Avermaet »

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Oooo, things are looking dicey in South Australia. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Rule #45 – acheiment unlocked. Finally! »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @frank Yes, waaaaaaaaay less subtle. Fortunately I don’t think there’s any chance of Her Panzerwagen turning into the Rainbow Turd. And how the fuck does he do that with his neck?!? The wattage coming out of that photo is making my eyes water. »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

No technology can increase the energy of the willpower of the rider, nor can it lessen the doubts which sometimes overwhelm him. - Bernard HinaultAs I swung off the main road, I was momentarily consumed by the simple thrill of my tires leaving the hard tarmac and hitting the rough gravel of the unpaved forest road. It was a brief distraction of the...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @KW Wow man… just… wow. Hard man this one. The VMH has a Sora set on her commuter. It gets the job done, but it ain’t pretty. »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Loving the subtle bands on the seat tube (can that thing even be called a seat tube?) and I realize he’s going FSA but that just looks wrong. Kinda like Peter Sagan’s Escape Velocity tuck…. no… …exactly like Peter Sagan’s tuck. »

...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. ESPN film involving an American sticking it to the French. Of course there will be hyperbole. »

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. 4 of my 5 picks abandoned. Missed both rest day swaps. In Canada with no cable so didn’t watch a single stage. I feel like I should be scoring negative points on this one, not just the naught. »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Rom just switch your right pedal to one of those “track-style” pedals that are all the rage with the hipster fixie-riding crowd. You’ll be fine… And may I suggest this from your countrymen (you are an Aussie, right?) to address your wallet issue. But… »

It has been many years (25!) since professional female cyclists have raced on the cobbles of the Champs Elysées. While running the Giro Donne concurrently with the Tour de France makes no sense to me, this Sunday’s women’s race does make sense. It should be the model for a Women’s Tour de France: the route, infrastructure, roadsi...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Because Le Tour totally fucked my VSP and there are 3 Canadians in the mix I’m going for a Hail Mary (pardon the gridiron analogy) VSP PICKS: 1. The Divine Ms. V 2. Elizabeth Armistead 3. Emma Johannson 4. Cari Higgins 5. Leah Kirkman »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Oh yeah, @Rom - shave your fucking legs. »

  2. @The Oracle Requin Baleine, pronounced “Rakan Balen” Although I imagine the French would go for more of a phrase like  “Le Vide de Plein Aire” »