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Velominatus: DeKerr

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Fond memories of canti's and rigid forks from the early mountain bike days. Now training in earnest as a Pedalwan.

@DeKerr's activity:

Stupidity is a powerful force never to be underestimated. Geese are a good example; a more stupid vertebrate one would be most challenged to come across yet should you wander into a flock of them pecking about peacefully in a field, one is likely to erupt from its grazing to grab a billful of your ass and commence beating you savagely with it...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Mr. Liddy, I have whole new level of admiration and appreciation for you. Chapeau! »

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out. - Bill Hicks That famous quote from the Greatest Comedian Of All Time™ has resonated with me for many years. It became my silent mantra, as I don’t suffer fools gladly and sometimes don’t make much effort to conceal the fact. Lately, I̵...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Scott or the tone of your post. »

  2. @wiscot Exactly. And it echoes this… @Ccos So for @Al__S and @Jamie and anyone else out there worrying about offending someone else, meditate on the V, get over your ego (that part of you that doesn’t want to be embarrassed), Rule #19, and start … »

Stupidity is a powerful force never to be underestimated. Geese are a good example; a more stupid vertebrate one would be most challenged to come across yet should you wander into a flock of them pecking about peacefully in a field, one is likely to erupt from its grazing to grab a billful of your ass and commence beating you savagely with it...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Teocalli apocryphal or not, that is a great anecdote and one I’m keeping in my vault of random and eclectic trivia. »

  2. @Teocalli Oh, that’s because they drive on the “right” side of the road. See what I did there ^ However, I find it interesting that most of the anecdotes of inappropriate operation of a motor vehicle come from the UK and Down Unda… except for the craz… »

We are cyclists, the rest of the world merely rides a bike. What defines us as cyclists? Can a recumbent rider be a cyclist, a unicyclist, a fat recumbent rider with hairy legs and a YJA on? I think yes but am I snob for even asking?Years ago, I was helping a woman at another research institution set up some scientific equipment. Evidently we kept...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @The Vid Think of the Whistler GF as a Stage finish on the Col du Tourmalet or Mont Ventoux … only about 1400 m less in elevation. However, the view of sunrise over Burrard Inlet as you cross the Lions Gate Bridge and the subsequent scenery of Howe Sou… »

Stupidity is a powerful force never to be underestimated. Geese are a good example; a more stupid vertebrate one would be most challenged to come across yet should you wander into a flock of them pecking about peacefully in a field, one is likely to erupt from its grazing to grab a billful of your ass and commence beating you savagely with it...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @davidlhill Brilliant idea by the local constabulary to provide perspective to cyclists (or those who merely ride a bike). Having operated a number vehicles of different shapes and sizes I can firmly attest to those experiences making me a more aware driv… »

@Bianchi_Bob sent his article in just this week. Its sense of urgency required it to be published NOW. We all need reminding to live in the moment; here is a good reminder. Thanks Bianchi Bob. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. I need to go for a ride… and just when I think it hurts too much I’ll know it needs to hurt just a little bit more. »

We are cyclists, the rest of the world merely rides a bike. What defines us as cyclists? Can a recumbent rider be a cyclist, a unicyclist, a fat recumbent rider with hairy legs and a YJA on? I think yes but am I snob for even asking?Years ago, I was helping a woman at another research institution set up some scientific equipment. Evidently we kept...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @antihero Because this needs to be read again, and again… and probably make it into the next publication of “the Rules”. @wiscot Absolutely they are on the path, violations or not. The rider on the old Quintana Roo in baggie shorts because that’s… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @cognition yes, the adage “don’t race what you can’t replace” is definitely words to live by. I also don’t intend to be the plonker showing up for his first race on something like an R5. Which leads to the added challenge in this dilemna of keeping the V-… »

  2. Merckx help me. I’m in a crisis. I’m in the position to pick up a n+1 to improve on my current stable of n=1 at 60% of retail (as a result of it being used as a demo for less than 200km). I even have the VMH’s permission and encouragement to upgrade my r… »

The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.

    The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in the groupetto.

    A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 18, 2014. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. There are bailout points for shorter rides. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here.

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 18, 2014
    10:05 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

There was never any question in my mind that tubulars are more romantic than clinchers, and as a Velominatus I was always convinced that the additional time and care that goes into gluing on a set of tires would make you feel just that much more connected to your bike and the history of the sport itself. I was skeptical, however, that tubs would ri...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @teleguy57 My only complaint would be that the enormous tube-sac dangling off the back of your saddle significantly affects the overall clean aesthetic of your Hampsten. And I’m not even going to start on that saddle (but damn I like that bike of yours… »

Brett’s recent post about Jensie brings up the dilemma of professional cycling for me. I admire many of cycling’s famous riders yet I don’t admire cheaters. Luckily for me I can fervently embrace opposable ideas within my consciousness and sleep well at night. Which also means I would have been one of those cheaters. I also see the tangle...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Al__S The final 6 seconds… just looking at the wall… and the angle. »

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Chris With those shades he does seems to be doing his best to channel Cioppi? »

Did everyone got tired of seeing a nearly naked Marcel Kittel on the massage table for the Tour’s VSP page? I know I didn’t. Young Kennaugh will be sporting his British road race jersey and his proper shoe/sock pairing in this Vuelta. Get used to it. Ladies and gentleman we have a race. We have some Giro winners, we have some Tour...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Fuck me! I’m in the top 10 (provisionally)!!! Not bad for throwing darts at the start list. We’ll see if this holds up. »

Brett’s recent post about Jensie brings up the dilemma of professional cycling for me. I admire many of cycling’s famous riders yet I don’t admire cheaters. Luckily for me I can fervently embrace opposable ideas within my consciousness and sleep well at night. Which also means I would have been one of those cheaters. I also see the tangle...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. From the interview… When next I go into a dark place… I think I will remember this. »

Cyclists love socks. I know I do. I’d make a point of collecting as many pairs as I could from every race, event, shop or rep that I ever happened upon. Some were so good that I still have them, others, well, let’s just say they were “re-homed” long before they got the chance to retire gracefully after years of loyal service...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Gianni Agreed. And while it’s good to see a Keeper other than you @Gianni playing fast and loose with the Rules I cannot abide these long black socks on a road bike. Next thing you know we’ll be in “compression sock” territory along tri-harders and cro… »

Jens Voigt is set to retire as we speak, having one final crack at a long break in some race in the Cycling backwater of the USA. Is it fair or fitting that he should go out like this, slipping out the back door with little fanfare, while others have been doing a farewell tour of all the big races, replete with fancy commemorative shoes and a son...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @Mike_P http://www.trekfactoryracing.com/news/jens-voigt-targets-hour-record-september-18 Fuck yeah! »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @VeloSix Agreed. And kit looks fabulous in 1 of 3 places… On the bike On the podium In the cafe/bar immediately before or after the Ride (but for no longer than it takes to consume 1 doppio macchiato pre or 1 ale post) Avoiding wearing it during a… »

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sush...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. Tarkin looks like he’s just coming in to form for the Vuelta. »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. @KingOfCrank I believe Rule #26 and Rule #78 address your valid concerns regarding Dork Discs without explicit reference to the abomination in question. Also, they should always be referred to as Dork Discs as this is the most derisive term and therefore… »

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

After a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. -The Prophet, Eddy Merckx After a week away in Atlanta for business, I feel thick and heavy. These trips away are killers; the shift in time zones means the already-too long work day is extended by a further three hours. I try my best to watch my diet, but in a town like Atlanta where even sush...

@DeKerr's posts:

  1. “Yes, excellent” – Mr. Burns »