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Velominatus: DerHoggz

Order: Gray Order Velominatus

Location: Western Pennsylvania

I'm pretty new to cycling, but I am embracing the rules and attempting to lay down some V.

@DerHoggz's activity:

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. By that I mean white Jawbones with black lowers are awesome. »

  2. Frank I always knew you were wrong with the silver V-shades. »

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cycl...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @tessar Is that a Delta?  Awesome »

  2. @Rom FFS man get a regular old cage and bidon and slap it on the downtube. Then shave your damn legs. »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @Ron The DeFeet code didn’t work for me the last time either. »

Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local h...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Cogals (pronounce it correctly: kog-al) are meetings of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Cogals are free, open to all, organized by our fellow Velominati and are always followed by consumption of post-ride recovery ales and merriment. These are gatherings of unbridled observance of Rule #4...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. Any tips for maintain Speed play cleat positioning when removing the million screws and parts? »

Riding a bicycle involves much more than just pushing the pedals around in a perfect sweep of muscular elegance while Looking Fantastic at all times. There are all sorts of soft skills involved like learning to shift properly, learning to corner properly, learning to crash properly, learning to criticize a fellow rider’s puncture-repair te...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. The upturned bottle allows you to get a greater angle on the bottle with less movement, more aero. »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. Glorious, glorious woven mesh and leather gloves! http://galtani.bigcartel.com/products »

If Lance won seven Tours then maybe Tyler Hamilton did win a Monument after all, or not. Finally Hamilton had a chance to measure up to Armstrong in a big one day race. That alone must have felt good; riding against him instead of for him. Johann versus Bjarne, Lance versus Tyler, this was a proper knife fight. Tyler looks ahead and Lance looks at...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. I mean I know NCAA D3 football players who do painkillers for games, apparently even intramurals.  Fucking troglodytes. »

  2. @Owen I’m not convinced it is currently any different honestly. »

Given the fact that everyone over-tightens their pedals to the crank arms, one needs a long lever to get too much torque. Rule #94 decrees using the correct tool and using it correctly. While the proper tool has always been available, it is up to us to evolve, to understand the difference between right and wrong, between vice-grip and open-ended wr...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @unversio Why seal pedal threads? »

  2. I couldn’t find a bottle opener the other day and was shocked that none of my tools had an integrated one!  I clearly need more lezyne, wlmist got one of their multitools with an opener, but opted for the smaller tool without.  A terrible mistake indeed. … »

The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path, not the end. In pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we know of no end to the Path; each of us journey through an endless evolution of understanding and reverence. As such, The Word continues to be handed down from high upon Mount Velominis and The Rules continue to be expanded upon. Today we present you with t...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @Ron One time I flatted on a midnight commute and a cop pulled over for safety or somesuch.  It took me like 5 minutes to stretch the tire back on and I felt like an idiot while he just stood there and watched. »

What, another guest post? Seemingly yes, but in fact we are keeping to our every-other Friday guest post schedule. We must Keep The Schedule! @Harminator’s post about pigs was the little seen “pop-up” article; a confluence of Paris-Roubaix, Orchies pigs and Jupiler beer. These things go very bad, very fast if not served quickly. @...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @Ccos I think the skinsuits are required to be all one color per the UCI?  I remember reading something about that. »

  2. @anthony There is nothing “refined” about it, even on nice days you get sweaty, salty, and dirty. @tessar I want to know, but don’t want to know regarding that Martin picture. »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. Watching Gilbert on those punchy finishes is always amazing.  You see him go and can be pretty much guaranteed he’s got it. »

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @andrew I don’t wear gloves except for cold and racing, but it is important to have a nice snug fit so it doesn’t wiggle around.  I also prefer no padding, and my long fingered gloves with padding cause me to hold the bars differently. »

It’s no secret that I’m prone to riding in the big ring as much as possible, mostly on account of my not being a giant sissy. In accordance with the ISO Non-Sissy Standard, I also never read instruction manuals or ask for directions when lost. I make sure to only rarely ask my VMH to turn up the radio when Adele comes on, usually follo...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. My bars are probably considered compact traditional bend, I love them.  Zipp changed the shape so now I must hold onto these forever! »

I had always imagined that de Ronde van Vlaanderen must be hardest race in the world. The way I worked it out – having never ridden the course of either event at the time – was that de Ronde had the same cobbles as Roubaix, but with 20% grades thrown in. It makes enough sense so long as you don’t know what you’re talking abo...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @frank Cancellara’s weak days are equivalent to others good days?  I believe it! »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @sthilzy Pretty sure it’s a Thomson. »

  2. @RedRanger I like it, but it will be dated in just a few years.  Murdered out is just boring though. @unversio I’ll see what else he can get for me, but I have to acknowledge it is a good frame and will possibly be a very good deal. »

  3. In the ongoing bike replacement saga: My LBS is pushing one of these for a frame.  I really want to buy from them , but I’m not so sure on Specialized, and the colors are lacking (I would probably go for neon vomit honestly).  I have no doubt it is a gre… »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@DerHoggz's posts:

  1. @sthilzy Do they not know that will ruin the aero? »