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Velominatus: EBruner

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Glasgow, KY USA

Rare Coin Dealer by profession. I started cycling in the glorious mid-1980's. If you were not out riding in the 1980's you really missed something special. I still want to cry when I think back to those days.

@EBruner's activity:

On our trip to Paris, my wife and I, in need of culture, rode the Vélib bikes to Cycles Laurent. This was our first French bike shop visit and excitement was high as we navigated our helmetless headed way through the city traffic. The shop is a classic; it’s crammed with bikes and clothes. There is no room to move. My wife immediately dove into...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. My wife and I did the same thing 3 weeks ago. We rode 180 miles around Paris on Vélib bikes and made the trip to Cycles Laurent. Great guy!! I bought 3 jerseys and spent about an hour speaking with him. I emailed him a picture of me on a ride here in Kent… »

@Harminator just submitted this little gem of a tale. It is too timely not to share with Paris-Roubaix looming. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. That pig is going to haunt my dreams!! »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. @teleguy57 Cracking perfect, the saddle is not my cup of tea, but overall it is tits. »

I wasn’t anywhere near old enough to hold a driver’s license but my dad had already bought me a motorcycle. It was a late seventies BMW R100 RS, dark blue. I loved that bike; I polished it fortnightly even though it never left the garage. I spent hours sitting on it, twisting the throttle and squeezing the clutch, diving in and out of t...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. @unversio I agree, not my Cannondale, a buddy was meeting at my house for a ride and leaned his bike against my BMW. »

  2. Speed is is the ultimate intoxicant. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. @Mark1 VERY nice steed. Now get out and ride the shit out of it! »

  2. @Xyverz The Master has no choice with the stems, they are sewups. »

  3. Alright, and these photos more rule compliant? Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

  4. @Nate Thanks, but I can’t find a bike that satisfies rule #25…… »

  5. I am very please with Campagnolo wheels. I run the Shamal with setups and Euros with clinchers. »

Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. I too rode with bare legs and arms today and it was glorious. You are correct, Wind IS and asshole, but you just must make the wind your Bitch, and lay down the V. »

The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before the...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. @antihero Reminds of my favorite movie. “I don’t avoid women Mandrake, I just deny them my essence” »

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the inter...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. @Ron And That is why we call you people “damn” Yankees. You fucking move to our region, and run your damn mouth about how much smarter you are. »

Strength can be a fickle thing this time of year, when the training isn’t as consistent as it should be; it comes and goes, sometimes several times in the span of a single ride or even a climb. Like a rosy-eyed dreamer I keep awakening as I train, thrown like a rag doll between a state nearing euphoria and one resembling purgatory.My mind is...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. Great article! ” 2am Ghosts of Lost Opportunities” could have been ripped from a Springsteen lyric!! »

ChrisO is back with another installment of Suffering in the Desert. Enjoy. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. Absolutely superb piece. Thanks for the post! »

We’re an odd bunch, us Cyclists. Shaved legs, scars, tan lines, muscular legs paired to scrawny upper bodies. These things that make us stand out are some of the things I take great pride in. I marvel at my freshly shaved guns and how smooth they feel under my dress clothes when I’m stuck at the office. I’ll stand in front of the...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. @scaler911 I thought he was taping his feet to his pedals like in ‘Breaking Away’. »

  2. I miss being one of maybe 5 people in a little Oklahoma town to ride a bike in a strange sort of get up. Waddling around in my wood sole Diadora’s and trying not to slip at the gas station while filling my water bottles. In the mid 80s we had road racers,… »

Last year we read that Philippe Gilbert is riding a 50cm (top tube of 535mm) BMC frame and he is 1.79m (5’10”) tall. Now it’s reported in Cyclingnews that Ritchie Porte’s Pinarello is a 46.5cm frame (top tube of 515mm) and Porte is 1.72m (5’8”) tall. He is no Nairo Quintana but somehow he is on Quintana’s old bike. Porte is just one i...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. I really don’t understand todays bike fitting myself, but I guess I go along. I am 5’10″ and I ride a 52 sloping C59, and a 56cm master X-light. The C59 looks like a kiddy frame next to my master, but it may be the 1984 filter I see it through. I do have … »

I’ve never been able to decide if choices are a gift or a curse; a lack of choices introduces simplicity but also with it the risk that the simple choices do not meet the demands of a complex world. An abundance of similar choices, on the other hand, often reduces the impact of getting things a little bit wrong, but also decreases the thought...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. I try and caution riders in my Club about cross chaining to no avail. These young one just don’t get it. I rode a 5 speed corn cob in the 80′s, and I have to say I an very happy with my Super record 11 speed 12-25 these days. »

One of the finest things about Velominati is it attracts the crazy bastards. Cyclists are slightly unhinged anyway but there are more than a few out there who have no fear. Crazy is not constrained by nationality. Crazy knows no borders. Sure the Randonneurs would do this just to make sure they were happy with their choice of headlamp strap but @ba...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. Now that was cool. Rule #9!! »

It’s the ride you’ll do the most. The hardest ride you’ll ever do, too. You’ll do it so often that it should be easy, but it never is. Its frequency is such that it really should morph into all the other rides of its ilk, therefore negating the actual nexus of this necessary, evil ride. But it never does, it’s always s...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. The FRB is what keeps me on my toes, in constant fear or injury or illness. It forces me on vacations or business trips to spin for hours on hotel exercise equipment, while my family members bathe in the sun. The fear of the FRB has become my cross to bea… »

The Goldilocks Principle is under assault, balance is lost. Without balance, we are reduced to savages. Steerectile dysfunction is spreading like wildfire; socks are quickly becoming knee-highs and the line between shorts and knickers continues to blur.We spend considerable time making everything on our loyal steed fit and look perfect. Bar tape an...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. I ride tubulars, nothing to see here, so I am just going to move on…… »

Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives.  While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity...

@EBruner's posts:

  1. I feel like I have found a safe haven in a cycling world gone mad. I started my journey in 1985, a butcher in my town who raced took me under his wing and taught me to ride. Campagnolo, Rollers, and many of the same rules you are keeping here. He hated to… »