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Velominatus: El Mateo

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Fort Worth, TX

Social: /

Converted to cycling from futbol in 1984 in Austin, TX. Became hopelessly addicted to Campy and pasta. Raced on & off for about 10 years. Never won a Spring Classic. Big fan of cycling history. Still love to ride.

@El Mateo's activity:

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. The greatest revelation of this study is that we now have the Chewbaca scale to gauge one’s hairiness. »

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use sends people completely out of their minds. One fine gentleman even threatened my editor at Cyclist Magazine with cancellation of his subscription on the basis that they published an article wherein I espoused the virtues of goin...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Now that this subject has been thoroughly hashed out, and properly so, we need to turn our attention to Rule #41. The other day, as I perused  the Giro photos on CyclingNews.com, I was flabbergasted to find that the Movistar team bikes had the rear QR clo… »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Whatevs… VSP PICKS: 1. Tom Boonen 2. Peter Sagan 3. Fabian Cancellara 4. Greg Van Avermaet 5. Zdenek Stybar »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Now that it doesn’t rain in Texas anymore I have no use for a “rain” bike… it is now simply known as  “#2″. That doesn’t mean there is no Rule #9 riding…. Quite the contrary. Extremely bitter winter (for us) with morning temps consistently in the 20′s &amp… »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Phinney 3. Kwiatkowski 4. Cancellara 5. Van Avermaet »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Certainly, those boys have HUGE stones for attempting such a ride. Even larger stones because they picked a date and went with it regardless of weather… Assuming that they do have weather forecasting across the pond. I couldn’t imagine the pile of Mexican… »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Good to see you back on the road and in a good frame of mind. I have been uncharacteristically banged up this fall and have found that my mind is my worst enemy. Couldn’t ride for a few weeks making me cagey and irritable around the house and office. Keep… »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. I like Happy Endings… Chalk one up for the good guys! »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Ride the Cascades with the Velominati

    Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest friends has gotten…tiresome and cloying. When I first starting riding bikes a few years ago, STP was something of a challenge. A double century over two days seemed to be something epic, something life changing. At the time, it was something to aim for, and I’m glad I did it a few times with Mrs/Dr Eightzero.

    Last year was the last time I’m doing that ride. Oh, it was fun. Nothing Bad happened. The weather was perfect. We had a good time. But…if I hear “on your left” or “CAR BACK!” one more time, I’m gonna frame pump someone. Yes, I ride casually deliberately. Yes, I know there are cars on the road. But just stop it. I Obey Rule #59, so I don’t give a shit if you’re on my left. And actually, I do own the road. I ride as far to the right as is safe, and always actually look over my shoulder if I change lines. Thus, I am obeying not only the Rules, but the law in this state as well.

    The bike club wants $100 for this “fun” and while I understand it is a fund raiser for their various advocacy efforts, for $100 I get little in return. Some cheap-ass Costco snacks and bag transport. 10,000 people at a finish line “festival” means I wait in line for 20 minutes for a $5 beer, then there’s no where to sit to enjoy it.

    So, rather than go all eveyln STeVens further, I’ve decided a Cogal is just the antidote. Cogals lack everything I just described. Velominati are particularly good bike handlers. There’s no yelling on a Cogal, only V, V, and more V. When we recover, we fill the table with empty beer bottles in a comfy corner of a local brewery. Hence, the STV Summer Cogal in Arlington WA on July 12, 2014. If you plan on doing STP, well, have fun. STV is on that weekend, so you can’t do both. I hope you have a $100 worth of fun. STV, OTOH, adheres to the Keepers’ Cogal Principles: Open to all; Free to all. And Epic. Way Epic.

    As is the tradition with the Settle Summer Cogal, we start and end at a Brewery. In this case, the Skookum Brewery near the Arlington Airport. A short spur away from our loop into the North Cascades, we are taking the route listed as one of the 75 Classic Washington State rides.

    We plan Casually Deliberate, and will have a periodic regrouping at a couple of the small “towns” as there are several places to refuel and rewater along the route. It is my experience that for long, epic rides like this, company to chat with during the ride is much desired (just not 10,000 people that think that going for a 100 mile ride is life changing, and thus all have stern looks of concentration like they think a freeway overpass is the Fucking Stelvio.) Still, I expect the occasional double-pacelines to form, and we can hammer along a bit, but comraderie is best served on the road.

    We need an early start: V past 8am PDT, and the ride starts on time. Start/End: Skookum Brewery, (360) 652-4917.

    Route Directions are here.

    We may make a few detours to get supplies. The best roads are a little off the beaten commercial highways where there are stores, supplies. Note this is route is Grand Fondo distance – longer than a (Imperial) Century. As a loop, there is no turning back – you’re committed, so bring supplies and a plan. IOW: Epic.

    Casually Deliberate, but multiple groups may form. Take particular note of distances and opportunities for refuel/ rewater. This is not an urban ride. It is spectacularly scenic, and while it is long, it is not overly vertical, and therefore very doable for those us that are always Too Fat To Climb.

    VLVV -Eightzero.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - July 12, 2014
    8:05 AM - 9:00 PM

    Location
    Skookum Brewery

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. That Hipster leaning against the car looks an awful lot like PC from the old Apple commercials… »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. @Ron Well said! »

  2. I’m a bit torn on this one. I used to keep all my mileage in a notebook (How far, who with & notes) which lasted maybe 10 years but that faded away as I got more of a life. Wish I had kept it up as its kind of cool to go back and peruse old rides. I’v… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Story of Ferrari training athletes after being banned for life. Below is the description of how he was dressed… So wrong on sooo many levels. Needs to be banned not just from training cyclists but also being a cyclist. “Dr. Ferrari was wearing a vintag… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. @xyxax Veloflex Masters 25c have been great for me. Running on HED Arenberg rims. Actually have both black & gum but prefer the look of the gum wall. I run them 95 / 98 psi and I’m 165 lbs. »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Just having fun is exactly what it was all about for us. The late 80′s was when Specialized ushered in the Stumpjumper and everyone had to have one. Once the 90′s hit, the explosion of all kinds of bikes was amazing. We were lucky enough to live in Austin… »

I’m fluent in three languages: Dutch, English, and Hyperbole. The third is an acquired talent developed by creative and narcissistic tendencies; the narcissism feeds a belief that normal words can’t properly describe the magnitude of my experiences, and the creativity struggles to cope with restrictive paradigms like “facts”...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. At times my house and shop may look as though I could be vying for stint on “Hoarders” but my bike is (almost) always in tip top race day shape. Proper cable routing, bar tape and  cockpit components – (along with color coordination of them) are part of t… »

Yes, we got piss drunk after the 2012 Seattle Summer Cogal and dreamed up the V-to-V Stage Cogal: epic riding, vertical, a real challenge. It was indeed all that.Sadly, there was one element missing: @eightzero on the road. Turns out I had made all kinds of plans for individuals to serve a Director Sportif. And each and every one of them fell throu...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. The V to V Cogal looks like a smashing success. Some day, somehow El Mateo will join on of these things. Guess I need to go meditate on Rules 4 & 11.Barring a (likely) spring blizzard, a Yellowstone cogal sounds great. Jackson Hole is close by so plan… »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. I recall somewhere around ’87 when I first saw (and heard) the Shimano STI or whatever it was called back then. At a local weekly circuit race and here’s this bike that goes “click.. ker-chunk” upon shifting. Almost like a pistol cocking and firing with a… »

 Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842 Continue reading...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Exactly… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. @xced Very nice indeed. I like the limited red/white trim- classy. Wheels? Other component choices? Inquiring minds want to know… Especially since I’m building my new ride up next week. »

Each of us throw a leg over our top tubes and submit ourselves to the open road in recognition of the risks involved. These risks include those of a puncture, crash, damaged equipment, disability, and – ultimately – death. We try to be vigilant, we ride assertively yet defensively, and we hope for the best. We take every reasonable precaution t...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Don’t think I can add much to what has already been said so well But I think its really cool how much we actually do know about our fellow Velominati by virtue of their posts. @itburns was a cool dude and always had interesting things to say… He will be… »

Everyone knows that the quality of one’s character is measured by the size gear they can push, particularly when going uphill. It is also a well-established fact that no self-respecting Flemish Pro would ever ride a Compact, no matter what condition their knees are in or how ferocious the gradient. Which, by extension, means that Compacts are...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. I wouldn’t want a compact, but I learned the way of the apostles using a 53/42 with a 7 speed 19-12 or 21-12 7 speed freewheel. I have since gone the way of the Flemish Compact and added 4 gears to my cassette. My new bike also weighs 5+ lbs less and is m… »

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. I too was impressed by Froome’s respect for the Maillot Jaune. Rode with his regular black sky bibs and not the garish “everything has to be yellow” kit. The way he rode in the Alps was impressive by any Tour standard. Trying to win on Semnoz was classy i… »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@El Mateo's posts:

  1. Rest day swaps…. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Dan Martin 4. Nairo Quintana 5. Bauke Mollema »