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Velominatus: Eli Curt

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Manhattan

Social: Website

I blink once. Twice. It's still dark out. I rub my eyes and yawn, swinging my tired legs over the side of the bed where they grope for leather sandals. In the dark. At last they find them as I make my way to the washroom down the hall to handle my business. I grab my bibs on the way, along with my heart rate monitor, a jersey, socks and some chamois cream. The bibs reach the same place every time - razor sharp lines are etched into my heavily defined legs to indicate as much. The chamois cream is becoming less and less effective as I spend increasing amounts of time searching for an affordable pair of adequately-padded bibs. The jersey doesn't zip all the way - the muscles in my neck gained during close to 10 years of wrestling cling like a newborn koala. I finish getting dressed and affix the remaining accoutrements - sunglasses, a cap, a helmet, some carbon-soled obnoxiously-loud shoes. I grab The Black Widow by the saddle and guide her through the door as the world begins to radiate pink. I raise my hands above my head and arch my back. The road is my burrito.

@Eli Curt's activity:

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. Proposed Rule #93: Support your LBS. Support them when you don’t need them, or they won’t be there when you do. »

@prowrench is throwing down the greasy gauntlet. There is truth in his words. We already understand the gap between the professional cyclist and us civilians extends somewhere over the horizon. We can ride the bikes, wear nice kit and ride the race routes but that’s about as close as we can get. No one is paying us to ride. We are not Pros. B...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. Well said. That hit on all the important parts. »

There is nothing going on right now, oh right, except the Tour of Poland. Can we talk?I don’t think it’s just Frank and myself who are obsessed with the Hour Record. It is Hard Man cycling distilled into its purest form, the ultimate race of truth. During the first week of Tour de France madness Fabian Cancellara made it official he wa...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. My heart rate was at 185 reading that. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. I’ve got the state criterium championships coming up in 2 weeks from today. Throughout this past week, I’ve mainly just been targeting strava segments, from 1 – 7 minutes in length. Good training idea pre-taper? »

A death is a painful thing to experience. Particularly, I imagine, for the one doing the dying. For those left behind, it takes time to mourn and come to grips with the change; it is an unpleasant process, but such is the way of things.The crack in the chainstay of my beloved Cervelo R3 had been weighing on my mind ever since I discovered its exist...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. @RedRanger That was….disturbing? No, that’s not the word. Troubling? I’ll let you know when I think of the right word. »

  2. BTW, Frank. Seriously a very handsome bike and very nicely written. Glad you can make something great out of this. »

  3. @gregorio It’s good to hear some solid news about Trek. I personally had the same issue on my Speed Concept…and have been at the shop close to 10 times when people came in with similar issues…that Trek WOULDN’T stand behind. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. @Scooby Welcome! How tall are you dude!? »

  2. In case anyone wants to see some pretty great pictures accompanying some pretty terrible writing, I reported on last night’s race, as I do for all of mine. »

  3. @Mike_P Ah. Fair enough. I’m not up to date with (any of) the Pinarello offerings. »

  4. @PT I think we need one of those computerized dialogues on the Youtube for it, akin to this. »

  5. @Mike_P Lucky? Geez, I must have some inverted sense of taste when it comes to bicycle lust. »

  6. Yup, I agree. I just went to my LBS last night and took a look at the 2014 lookbook. The black/gold Caad10 Black Inc. Ultimate scheme has been upcycled to the Nano, while the new Ultimate’s scheme is the same, except green has replaced the gold (and has … »

  7. @Mike_P ACTUALLY…..everyone says that but they weren’t unmanageable. My racing weight was around 170 when I rode those, so that may have something to do with it…a muscular 170. »

  8. @minion I know I saw that on The Paceline….very sad news. I don’t think they’re going to stop production, I just think they’re trying to get out of upper management that isn’t in line with Ben’s overall views. »

Once again the metal grate is rolling up in front of the VSP lotto window. It’s bettin’ time. The Route de France is an eight day women’s stage race consisting of a prologue and seven road stages. The route stays away from any serious mountains so daily victories could go to sprinters or those willing to drive a breakaway. To make...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Eve Stevens 2. Emma Johansson 3. Marijn De Vries 4. Tiff Cromwell 5. Giorgia Bronzini »

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet man...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. If I had a mtb., I would also. I don’t need my shorts snagging on precariously positioned plants protruding preposterously… Ain’t nobody got time fo’ that! »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. @thebaron I was inquiring as to why your stem isn’t slammed. I’ve been eyeing the Deda 35 candy recently. Have you had the fortune of coming across that line? It’s purty. »

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet man...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. @rastuscat Moral of the story? Perhaps Rule #18 shouldn’t always be taken literally. Lycra on the road bike, on the cross bike, on the mtb., on the couch, in the pool…. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Eli Curt's posts:

  1. @thebaron I’ve never climbed on the wheels – nothing more than 5 second bursts, at least. They were chinese tubulars and SUPER light at that. Built up with DT champion spokes and King R45’s, they came in at 1600 grams with no tires. For the amount of carb… »

  2. @scaler911 Those are actually titanium. I was peer-pressured into getting them by a training partner of mine (who is currently the welcome picture on Serotta’s website). They’re basically as light, don’t scratch the bidons to the same degree and grip l… »

  3. @thebaron Watcha have in mind? :D »

  4. @thebaron Seems you may need to meditate on Rule #45»

  5. @Steampunk The vertical challenge is in your mind. Will it and it shall be. @unversio I used the OTHER conti glue! I know it’s not the tubular’s fault but I will never trust my glueing ability again. It took me a while to be able to corner at full fo… »

  6. @RedRanger Thanks very much! I’ve since rolled a tubular on that wheelset while in a break…so I dismantled the wheels and laced the King hubs to some H+Son stealth Archetypes. I’ve sworn off tubulars since they took 1.5 months from me! F5 dims the key… »