Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Fausto

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Bristol, UK

A latecomer to the world of the V, via things muddy, knobbly-tyres and *gasp* gravity powered. Has since seen the light and is seeking redemption via Rule #9 compliant commuting, a love of hills and an indulgence in the craft. Sprints like a Grimpeur, climbs like a Puncheur - working on improving both.

@Fausto's activity:

Wednesday sees the return of the women to the VSP. More notably, we see the return of Marianne Vos to the road. She’s won this race five of the last seven years. It makes me wonder if the rest of the field have already resigned themselves to racing for second. On the other hand, Vos hasn’t been racing of late and may not be as sharp as...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Try as I might, I simply can’t bet against Vos; the rest will just be spectators. Bloody quick spectators mind. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Armitstead 3. Stevens 4. Pooley 5. Borghini »

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Nothing surer to sent Phil Gil’s form than me picking him for the win. VSP PICKS: 1. Phil Gil 2. Rui Costa 3. Kwiatkowski 4. Purito 5. Valverde »

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Might I suggest that the issue is less the wonky lid and more that he went out of the house in a Bongo Hat in the first place? It’s depressing how many Freds are turning up in these things these days, ditto that Specialneeds abomination – Terpstra is lite… »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. All my V is being channelled into riding this week, so I have approximately 3 neurons spare that haven’t been burnt out to pick names. I predict my chances are about as good as me staying top of the Strava V-leaderboard until Sunday. Time for a recovery … »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Placeholder selections only, just to avoid a Delgado. I need more time to think dammit! »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. Boonen 3. JVS 4. Wiggo 5. Vanmarcke »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Finally I manage to pick a winner! Great race; I just can’t help backing Faboo for these – the man’a a machine! »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Ha ha, hadn’t even noticed Vos wasn’t racing; what a twat. Still, the top 3 were in my picks, so no bagel at least. »

  2. I don’t know how Lizzie’s going to do it, but she will, and it’ll be a race for the ages. Trust me. VSP PICKS: 1. Armitstead 2. Vos 3. Stevens 4. Johansson 5. Van Dijk »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. The usual guesswork and voodoo to get this lot, not original but hey, at least I didn’t Delgado. And I got 3rd at the Grand National by picking it out of a hat, so this system has some mileage. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. Vanmarcke 3. T-Boo 4. Terpstra 5. Sa… »

This is the kick off of the VSP for women’s racing, though the women have already kicked it off with the Ronde van Drenthe in the Netherlands. Now it’s down to Northern Italy, Varese, by Lago Maggiore, but this is a climbers course, more in the mountains than by the lake. And yes, Sunday is also Gent-Wevelgem for women but Trofeo is par...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Remarkably few picks for Vos to win this one – does everybody know something that I don’t or is this a new move to pick anyone but Vos in the hope of scoring big? VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Gunnewijk 3. Armitstead 4. Borghini 5. Johannsen »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. At least Cav and Boonen have been good enough to withdraw before I put my picks in, so that’s saved me a hurried re-arrange at the last minute. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. Stybar 3. Sagan 4. Vanmarcke 5. Degenkolb »

“Are you havin’ a dig at me?” It’s a good old phrase that one. I hear it occasionally, usually in response to some jest, part of the banter that me and my friends enjoy on a regular basis. It can be used as an off-the-cuff remark, clearly meant in a jocular way, or can carry with it a more sinister edge, a way to make a poin...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Sounds like someone has been spying on our club rides; that’s pretty much the way it goes down every weekend. The earlier comment about the early head bob being an indicator of imminent pain is absolutely right. I’ve spent a lot of this winter practising … »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Hurrah! It’s VSP time again; time to stir the tea leaves, drop the chicken bones and still get it utterly fucking wrong. VSP PICKS: 1. Cav 2. Gerro 3. Faboo 4. Greipel 5. Sagan »

I came strongly into the Fall, stronger than in other years thanks to a late-season objective to do well at my first Heck of the North gravel classic in Minnesota. I was light and I had built good power and endurance by riding the steep gravel roads that pepper the North Cascades and suffering through brutal interval sessions on the windswept stre...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. I’ve learnt this year that what I really need to kick start my training is a good kick up the arse. This year it came in the form of a team mate and regular training buddy handing my arse to me on an entirely normal weekend ride, to the point of bonking o… »

We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kil...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Sorry to hear about the passing of your hound, it’s never a good thing to deal with, an it comes round way quicker than you’d want with the big dogs. :( As soon as I saw the hyperlink on “do what we want” I was hoping it would be the Cartman clip – I was… »

@wiscot is at it again. He is the Velominati historian and I’m always pleased when more of his writing arrives at the bunker. Luckily for all of us, cycling has a long history, most of which we are unaware of. This was not taught at school. Any article that includes the words Spartacus and Hour Record in the first paragraph already has my att...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. @wiscot Excellent work as always. Gisiger wasn’t a rider I was familiar with, but I can see why you wanted to explain about his exploits. Every day is a school day, I’ll consider my cycling education expanded a little further. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Oh FFS. Shark fin, not shark fun. Poxy Apple spool chicker. »

  2. @Mikael Liddy Wow. Someone has clearly taken their angry pills. Maybe he’s been using one of those new shark fun saddles or something? »

The illusion of transparency is perhaps the most important tool the Velominatus has in their toolbox, apart from having some measure of competence, being Casually Deliberate at all times, Looking Fantastic, and being able to dish out and endure heaping helpings of The V.Cycling is suffering, and one of the most crucial lessons we have to learn is t...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Waiting for the gear change works well if you have gears at your disposal too. Wait for their down shift before dropping it into a smaller sprocket and pushing on. To make it convincing, your push / attack / attempt to irritate the fuck out of them must b… »

Lucky is the cyclist who has a parent cyclist. Early mentoring about the pain cave, guidance gluing on tires, these are worthwhile lessons a parent could lecture a child on. If one has to listen to a parental lecture, better it be about Eddy Merckx and how you are no Eddy Merckx than balancing your checking account. For the rest of us, our parents...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Dads are good for stuff like that. He might not have been a cyclist for any other reason than an occasional trip to the shops or short commute, but he showed me how to strip and rebuild my bike the first time, and I did it after that. He must have been a … »

The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before the...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. @prettymucheveryoneexceptFrank It feels like I’ve stepped into a long overdue Alcoholics Anonoymous meeting here – not something I was expecting from The V-community! I’m glad to see I’m not the only one to find the benefits of easing off the sauce. I l… »

I’m a non-climber who enjoys climbing. I’d enjoy it more if I was good at it. And “enjoy” might be too strong a word, “tolerate” might be better. But dragging 89 kilos up a volcano gives one time to contemplate the cycling life .Let us define non-climber. It’s someone either too fat, too big (gravitationally challenged) or a fast- twi...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Top geekery. Like you, I find it interesting and I’m learning more about using power to reveal strengths and weaknesses and to play to one and work on the other. I only jumped on the power bandwagon after the end of last season and the PM I have … »

I don’t know if its because I see something of myself in them or if it awakens some kind of nurturing instinct, but I always seem to find myself drawn to tragically flawed figures.Layne Staley and Marco Pantani strike me as two halves of the same whole; incredibly talented yet tortured with mortally addictive personalities, both set loose in...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. Marco caught my attention when I was young, naive about the doping going on in the pro peloton and my cycling interests were consumed mostly by bikes with fat tyres, not skinny ones. That a road cyclist made that sort of impression on me was notable; I ju… »

I’m a non-climber who enjoys climbing. I’d enjoy it more if I was good at it. And “enjoy” might be too strong a word, “tolerate” might be better. But dragging 89 kilos up a volcano gives one time to contemplate the cycling life .Let us define non-climber. It’s someone either too fat, too big (gravitationally challenged) or a fast- twi...

@Fausto's posts:

  1. British Cycling, not Brotish. Fucking iDevice autocorrect. »