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Velominatus: Giles

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Perth, Australia

Social: /

Will be cremated with my bike and wearing lycra. Will never win a bike race. Likes coloured coordinated and shiny things.

@Giles's activity:

I’m not even talking about all the pseudo-asthmatics out there, vaping their way to better breathing. My breathing is just fine. It’s my little citron sized heart that is slowing me down. Is there a street-legal injection or vacuum pump for heart enlargement, or a trip to a doctor in the Congo that would transplant a badass Mandrill heart for m...

@Giles's posts:

  1. I drink coffee before I ride for only one reason. It stops the caffeine withdrawal headache halfway through the ride. I’m not an addict, well maybe I am, but as someone drinks only the equivalent of 4 espressos a day, it’s easier to prevent than cure the … »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Giles's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Geraint Thomas 2. Boonen 3. Cancellara 4. Wiggins 5. Sagan »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Giles's posts:

  1. wide open, no idea, »

  2. Absolutely wide open I reckon VSP PICKS: 1. cancellara 2. devolder 3. sagan 4. roelandts 5. boonen »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @DerHoggz Surely an April 1st joke? »

For many Americans, their first ten speed bike was a Schwinn. It was heavy. Everything about it was heavy. It was the bike that was going to survive outside the bomb shelter. No one put a better crankset on a Schwinn. When we moved on that old bike languished in the garage and it was not coming back out. Not so for @Teocalli, for starters he didn&#...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @Puffy I had an old Ricardo sand blasted and powder coated at a local paint shop for about $100 – huge selection of colours and took 3 days – it’s my commuter bike.  Looks awesome (well I think so) now »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@Giles's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Cavendish 2. Degenkolb 3. Petacchi 4. Greipel 5. Sagan »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @Puffy I’ll be at the 3 Peaks too – just swapped out my Campy C50 Bullets for a set of Neutron Ultras, the descents here in Perth on a windy day have been a tad too hair raising on those aero rims. Nice effort on the sub-10 goal – you’ll know me, I’ll be … »

The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before the...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @kixsand That really rings true. I’m currently conflicted. I’ve made it to no alcohol Monday to Thursday with random Friday and or Saturdays without. I have moved away from what I consider the heavy drinker mentality that means generally “a” glass of wine… »

Last year we read that Philippe Gilbert is riding a 50cm (top tube of 535mm) BMC frame and he is 1.79m (5’10”) tall. Now it’s reported in Cyclingnews that Ritchie Porte’s Pinarello is a 46.5cm frame (top tube of 515mm) and Porte is 1.72m (5’8”) tall. He is no Nairo Quintana but somehow he is on Quintana’s old bike. Porte is just one i...

@Giles's posts:

  1. At over 40, I have decided I can no longer justify skinny jeans. I put small bike frames in the same bucket. I will ride big and comfy every time – especially as I don’t have a professional masseuse at home to sort the knots and pain out… »

Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring po...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @Rom As my office mate once said “I’m a follower not a leader” – I have the organisational skills of a gnat, but I’m up for it. Doing the 3 Peaks in March so a hills ride in the New Year could work for me. Failing that a bit later. There’s a couple of oth… »

  2. Very nice article. Summer here in Perth at the moment so while I might like to sympathise with all you notherners, I won’t. Don’t mind crap weather on the bike, but getting out the house when it’s raining already – that’s tough. I find once the feet are … »

The first tire patch kit I ever owned came in a big green box, had several patches of various sizes which were possibly made of old truck tires. It also came with a sheet of 60 grit sandpaper. The mild high offered from sniffing the glue while applying the patch almost made you stop caring you’d gotten a flat in the first place. Stoned on glu...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @frank Wrong. I think most of us read all the articles. And what’s more I think everyone who has picked up the book at my house has chuckled and gone home to check out the web-site and maybe even signed up. You’re doing soemthing right. And I think the t… »

The home ground of Manchester United Football Club, Old Trafford, is colloquially known around the world as the Theatre of Dreams. It holds a revered place in the hearts of the club’s supporters, and even those of other teams; it’s an icon of football, and sport in general. Millions have gone there to watch their heroes play, but how ma...

@Giles's posts:

  1. this is all so spot on. I have done some of the early bird time trials here in Perth, where the course record is held by one Cameron Meyer, ok so in his Pre-pro years but its kinda cool. I’ve never understood why the football codes are so precious about … »

Flies and dogs, two things that we don’t need on a climb.I had descended down this street many times, but I had never before ridden up it. I even said hello to the two excited pitbulls on the other side of the driveway gate. I like dogs. I like them until one of them squeezes under the gate and I’m going uphill slowly. Pitbulls arenR...

@Giles's posts:

  1. Got chased by a farm dog in the Pyrenees when I was at Uni, I swear in my red haze sprint to get away from it the tyre came off the rim and popped back on as I went round the corner. Either that or I was close to light speed and vision had all gone to coc… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Oh wow. Great photos. Love the white accents. With a matte frame wouldn’t gloss V logos work better? »

An ancient Velominati legend states that when the The Prophet created the common fly, he gave it a maximum air speed of exactly 12 kilometers per hour. When he created the common Cyclist, on the other hand, he gave us a maximum climbing speed of 11.9 kilometers per hour.The worst flies on the planet live in the Pyrenees, where it is hot and humid...

@Giles's posts:

  1. Aussie blow flies. The worst. Fortunately, unlike most Aussie critters they don’t kill you instantly. On a different note, that climb looks amazing. »

Who is Charly Wegelius? His name would float to the surface in races usually when the road went up. The Phil and Paul show never seemed to go further than, ‘and there goes Charly Wegelius’. In the pre-Sky days, there were not that many English racers in the Giro yet he seemed shunned by the press. He was just there. He was English yet a...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @frank you forgot to mention that he also rescues a chick who fell out a helicoptor into a shark’s mouth. Personally, I thought it a fine example of the genre. Now Piranha DD, next on my list I am fully expecting to tick the one box, Sharknado didn’t… »

It’s funny what goes through your head at 3am when you’re woken by a cat. Especially if that cat’s name is Lars, and he was named after the Metallica drummer (not by me, he’s my VMH’s cat). I prefer to call him Jan though, as Jan has always been my favourite Ullrich. So last night Lars woke me up, and unable to get ba...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @Dan_R YES The Irons! Can’t get the wife to understand what it is about Bruce and the boys, but like cycling I will never tire of going over the same tracks again and again and again »

Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks? Continue reading...

@Giles's posts:

  1. No. Just no. »

There are many revered places in Cycling, places that are instantly recognisable, places that command their own special page in history and in our memories for the great battles held upon them. Most likely the names you’ll think of first would be the great mountain climbs of the Grand Tours, l’Alpe d’Huez, Ventoux, Zoncolan, Stelv...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @Ron Can you get the Bellweather bibs? I’ve been using these for about 6 months now, and compared to my Castellis (which I love the look of), they are blacker, cheaper and as good if not better. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Giles's posts:

  1. @the Engine don’t know about the hubs, but your post made me want to say is this the time of year when you northern hemisphere dwellers and us antipodean types can actually both really appreciate the magical atmosphere and conditions? We are coming into s… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Giles's posts:

  1.   @Adie I’d go with chuck the leg over and ride like you stole it…which you just did »

  2. Anyone else seen this? »

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patien...

@Giles's posts:

  1. I would like to add that with my usual VSP divining powers, I may as well have typed Merckx, Coppi, Sharapova, Lendl and Beckham. VSP PICKS: 1. Dan Martin 2. Nibali 3. J-Rod 4. Valverde 5. Edwald Boassen Hagen »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

  • @PeakInTwoYears hear, hear. I to am fortunate to ride in friendlier climes

  • One word, old mate…………camera.

  • Mindfulness–and let’s just pass right over the idea of compassion for the moment–isn’t easy when it’s hard. When...

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