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Velominatus: HeinrichHauslersHairstyle

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

Location: Melbourne Australia

16 time Ironman...the shame that must be unspoken

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's activity:

You can only spend so much time with the Schlecks before you start talking like them, and the fabulous Fabs seems to have crossed the threshold. I’ve heard more complaining from him this season than I have talk about pushing harder on the pedals or going steady up with more speed or going full gas like everyone else, but just doing it for ...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich Haussler 2. Heiny H 3. Saucler 4. German Heinrich 5. Heinrich’s barber »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. What an amazing stage. Sat glued to our TV exhorting Haussler to stick to the front group. Down once, back up and got back on only to floor it in a roundabout and lose 13 minutes in the last 18k. Massive respect and chapeau to all the riders. 47k average … »

  2. …and a stage win for Heinrich! VSP PICKS: 1. Froome 2. Contador 3. Van den Broek 4. Nibali 5. Talansky »

It’s the ride you’ll do the most. The hardest ride you’ll ever do, too. You’ll do it so often that it should be easy, but it never is. Its frequency is such that it really should morph into all the other rides of its ilk, therefore negating the actual nexus of this necessary, evil ride. But it never does, it’s always s...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy if I’d been in the V-kit the bus would have ended up face down in the gutter not me. Pissed off that we had to get back to Melbourne for work so missed Cuddles brilliance on the Corkscrew today. Robbie called it when he got onto the big cog … »

  2. @Mikael Liddy thanks, survived today’s ride Along your beach road. Back to Vic tomorrow. »

  3. Not my FRB but we arrived in Adelaide yesterday  to watch Cuddles go round in The Tour DownUnder.   A Decade ago my wife and I came to Adelaide cos we’d heard what a great and safe place to ride it was – and she got hit by a car ten metres after we starte… »

Always be casually deliberate, even when riding.You have just attacked off the front to take a town line sprint. It was a just-the-perfect-amount-of-dumb yet successful move. You went deeply anaerobic for a sprint no one else was even mildly interested in, but you did crush them unrestrainedly. Continue reading...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. Wearing my Velominati top on Beach Rd recently I was caning it at the front of a small group thru Sandringham, Brighton and Elwood. Ensuring I stayed at the front, my stroke constant, not looking around, timing  traffic lights to perfection. My heart and … »

An ancient Velominati legend states that when the The Prophet created the common fly, he gave it a maximum air speed of exactly 12 kilometers per hour. When he created the common Cyclist, on the other hand, he gave us a maximum climbing speed of 11.9 kilometers per hour.The worst flies on the planet live in the Pyrenees, where it is hot and humid...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. Yep, sorry North American & Euro-Velominatii, but you fuckers know nothing of flies or other fucker insects. Riding in summer down here in Oz, north winds, 40 degrees and every mutation of big fat fly hitting you in the face as you hump it into a head… »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. About to jump on a plane and make our way to Corsica to follow le Tour. Vive le Cadel! VSP PICKS: 1. Froome 2. Cadel 3. Contador 4. Quintana 5. Porte »

The mighty VSP generator has been switched on once again. The mil-spec hydraulic fluid has been changed since the Giro. A new power take-off belt has also been installed. And the punch card reader has been refurbished.Broome and Berti are already riding the Critérium du Dauphiné. The top contenders prefer the Dauphiné for the decent recovery all...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. Apparently he used his pelvis to protect his palms from the road. »

  2. Heinrich DOWN!  Bruises, multiple wounds, fractured pelvis, fractured hip…hair messed up. »

  3. Heinrich to dominate. VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich 2. TJ Van 3. Ryder 4. Martin 5. Kreusiger »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. @mouse he’s back! »

  2. @paolo valid points indeed. for me di2 is new, shiny and good. Like the first time I got carbon clinchers, a carbon frame or sti. It adds to the ride not detracts. Doesn’t mean non-users are Luddites, just different perspectives on what makes a ride quali… »

  3. @ChrisO I’ve got mechanical gears as well…on my tri-bike. »

  4. @ChrisO good point. Will replace immediately. »

  5. @ChrisO I’ve been using di2 for about 8 months. 100% reliable and the comparison of time needed to be spent on maintenance  compared to mechanical is stark. Apart from a monthly recharge, done more as precaution than need,  there is zero necessity to tune… »

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. @Daccordi Rider Difficult to tell as they are covered by the afore mentioned quick-tie laden helmet. But I hazard a guess they’d be funking awful. »

  2. @ChrisO Yep, thought it might be an Australia only phenomenon. Thankfully our Magpies are vindictive fuckers so seem to target these knob-ends fairly well despite  the apparently deadly spears of thin plastic protruding from the helmet. »

  3. Beach Rd, Melbourne, Australia. YJA, MTB shoes, business socks, unshaven legs, non invited drafting, quick-ties looped through helmet to ward off magpies, non-cycling sunglasses, Shimano Tiagro group set on a budget priced Giant. Chapeau to you for gettin… »

Day 5 of the Six Days of the Giro continues with an impromptu VSP event.Lets have a look at where we are in the 2013 Giro. Wiggins must have spent time training in Luxembourg because he’s been descending like a Schleck when things get dodgy before disappearing into the team van to have a cry about it. Hesjedal has put in some good moves and...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Cadel 2. Nibali 3. Wiggo 4. Some nondescript Italian 5. A pro-conti Italian »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Sir Sulkalot Wiggins 2. Il Duce Nibali 3. Digger Cadel 4. Maple Leaf Ryder 5. Gesink don’t stink »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Sir Sulkalot Wiggins 2. Il Duce Nibali 3. Digger Cadel 4. Maple Leaf Ryder 5. Basso Berlusconi »

There is something to love about a race that makes a deviation to its route for the simple joy of sending a fleet of professional riders up a fiendishly steep and narrow ramp. The Cote du Stockeu offers zero benefit to the route from a logistical standpoint – in fact, all it does is complicate things. On the way down from the Cote de Wanne &#...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Valverde 2. Gilbert 3. Gerrans 4. Martin 5. Rodriguez »

The simple art of riding a bicycle can be undertaken in many ways. Watching the stylish commuters of Amsterdam going about their business in the most Casually Deliberate way makes you wonder if indeed anyone is actually going about any business at all. I don’t know how anything ever gets done in that city; everyone seems to be on their way to...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. Gaudin was quality in Paris-Roubaix. To relieve the drudgery of a long ride on Beach Rd here in Melbourne my training partner and I will sometimes pass each other faux rogering an invisible lass on our bikes. Gaudin looks likes he’s both fucking and being… »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

  • @PeakInTwoYears hear, hear. I to am fortunate to ride in friendlier climes

  • One word, old mate…………camera.

  • Mindfulness–and let’s just pass right over the idea of compassion for the moment–isn’t easy when it’s hard. When...

  • Good survival training and looking inward is best.

  • @brett

    It’s your masculinity, leaving.

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